I have many evil thoughts for the playlist for my funeral.
The Feelings Wherever You Will Go for the Coptettes, or the stalking song as we call it 
, one of our car journey belters, just to make sure they carry on behaving themselves 
. Though this plan has the unfortunate side effect of making me burst into uncontrollable tears at the very mention of the song, tears pouring down my face as I type 
)
Then to get the friends going on a weepfest, Empty Chair at Empty Tables sung in person by Michael Ball (Eddie Redmayne will do if he is busy) really for my close friends who have already left such a gap in our lives, there was an empty chair at the table yesterday when my university flatmate was over from Canada as we were a threesome (a rare one that worked) and it was 15 years ago on Monday that our other flatmate was got by this bastard disease.
Then Jeff Buckley's Dido's Lament (which will probably have half the people there with hairs raised on back of neck, the other half in agony as in hearing cat's claws down a blackboard...)
Coldplay Don't Panic, because that got me through chemo thinking of all the beautiful places I was going to live to see...., and then we played it non stop driving down the Great Ocean Road in Australia on that first post chemo trip
And finally Family's Burlesque because that is where I started out, and it makes a change from Cabaret.
Plus lots of lovely words from the Brontes, Eileen Chang (one of my diss authors), Tim Winton, the bit about the bridge of love from The Bridge over San Luis Rey.......
Not that I've thought about it or anything
Spookily DD and I were just singing along to I Had The Time of my Life in the car on the motorway.
maltezers My way of coping with those thoughts is to get them out and give them a thorough looking at, somehow once you look over the cliff IYSWIM it doesn't seem so bad. One of the huge benefits of my support group is that we talked through our feelings about death, held hands as we looked over the cliff together. After that somehow it wasn't so scary or traumatic. Then you can put them away and enjoy being in denial, another skill Cancer perfected for me, almost, is not worrying about what hasn't happened and not worrying about what I cannot change. I found walking in beautiful places really helped me get it all in perspective. I remember on one walk suddenly realising I really could be happy again, and so can you.
MAS Glad all went well for T
gigs Phew that big gigs has not learnt earworm or super evocative song. I went away a couple of summers ago with friend whose 6 year old had just performed The Lion Sleeps Tonight. After just two days we all just wanted to make it stop but it didn't. Whimaway morning (especially after too much 
night before ) noon and night. And I shall never recover from Big Copts Year 2 class singing "What a Wonderful World"
YEAH!! DD's processing score came out below average, so will get extra time, hopefully. Little Copt said she has never been so pleased to be below average . Ed Psych is in apocalyptic rage. As she pointed out new stupid exam regs are not based on any sound understanding of learning difficulties, they actually mean anyone with below average scores on processing and working memory get extra time, even if they are of below average ability, they have actually made the playing field easier for them, whilst for able candidates it has gone back to being unfair. The ridiculous thing is that universities provide support and extra time on the basis of the gap between ability and working memory and processing, based on sound educational Psychology, so able pupils with learning difficulties are fine once they get there but the problem is getting the A levels that will get them there.... I suppose the universities will catch up with what is going on, as they already have with GCSEs and go much more on the contextual evidence. Gove is just completely undermining the credibility of the educational system based on his nostalgia and prejudices..........