Tamoxifen 34 *the power of Sauron*

[MaryAnnSingleton]

new thread !!!

[Sad] for you Gigs and hoping the pain is under good control now? Tramadol perhaps? Nerve pain is horrible so I do hope they're helping you manage it, and that it will soon be better. Its probably the type of pain that goes on for a while and then suddenly inexplicably stops one day? So just filling up with the meds till it does.

Sorry to hear about the awful pain gigs hope you and your anxiety had settled a bit now.

Get well wishes to topsy who has a migraine and a sore throat

Thinking of Gigs and hoping the pain and the anxiety can be controlled-virtual hugs from me too.
Get well soon topsy and all the other poorlies :)

Big hugs Gigs, thinking of you

Kurri, sorry things are a bit tense for you, totally unrest and your frustrations, it is important to vent about it though, it isn't being at all disloyal, but better to say it to than to bottle it up I think!

On a similar note I have just inadvertently found out today that a "friend" has been saying rather unkind things about me and ds to other friends, so feeling a bit, grrrr abut some people's ignorance and generally pettiness.

Poor topsy
Feeling sad tonight as one of my best friends visited today - we lived next door to each other in London and could talk about anything for hours- miss that so much.

Oh MAS - are you sad because she has gone home now and you miss having her close by?

Sparkle - thank you, but sorry your 'friend' has been unkind -that is mean

Gigs hope you are feeling a bit better now and pain has eased.

waving to all - hope migraine has gone topsy.

MAS hugs, sorry you are feeling down. X

Kurri - thank you, although how you actually read and understand my message is beyond me..... iPad likes to predict what I mean, and rarely gets it right.....hope you have a better day today.

Back to work today...........got butterflies, don't know why

that's horrid about your friend sparkle - hope work is ok today x
Am just sad because I miss having her nearby I guess-like topsy and hnd I'd been looking forward to seeing her v much and felt a bit lost when she'd gone.

Good luck at work Sparkle (although you will be there by now - good job I don't have to get up to got to school any more!)

I know what you mean MAS - it is physical closeness - e-mailing and phoning just isn't the same, - it is lovely to have friends who are also neighbours.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today Gig and pain is sorted - any news on when you can get out?
topsy hope the migraine has passed.

I got up v. early as DD is going up to Manchester for a few days, to meet up with all her old house mates from uni. - so wanted to wave her off.
Then I went back to bed and slept for a couple of hours - I felt very sick last night, and when I woke up this morning, but feel a bit better now so maybe I just needed a long sleep.

I am trying to think of some things to do so that DH and I actually communicate and spend time together while DD is away - otherwise we'll be like ships that pass in the night DS and DDIL have invited us over at the weekend for lunch and furniture swapping (we're giving them a bookcase, they are giving us a desk).

love to all x

kurri sorry you're not feeling well ..... The ultimate partner bonding is of course constructing, from scratch, and ikea flat packed product. Depending on far you wish to test the relationship you either start with a simple foot stool, or go the who,e hog and get a wardrobe with sliding drawers, doors, baskets etc. and to really get things going, choose a wardrobe that is just that little to tall move after you've put it together ..... Ah the joy of ikea ...

Seriously, the most relaxed times I spent with my husband was sitting on the train next to him without the children interrupting every five minutes, or having a cup of tea in bed in the mornings. We take turns making it, and just spend the time chatting about what we've got on that day. I don't have much at the moment, so we just chat about this and that.

You know you are absolutely right coorong - I think I will get some croissants and nice coffee, and we can breakfast out on the patio (if its warm - which it won't be) or in bed if its cold

Unfortunately we don't have an IKEA near us - I've never been to one in fact, - but previous attempts at flat pack furniture have nearly ended in homicide because one person is incapable of reading and following instructions so maybe its a good thing!

Hoping gigs had a pain free night .

Mas my closest friend visited last week, some people are such a big part of your life, it is very hard if they are not near. Most of the people I can really talk to are at least a sea away, and some several continents.

Her coming over and my chat with KK finally brought things to a head with DH , reminded me that life here has not been normal for a while,. After a horrible evening and morning trying to get through to him , that really upset the DDs as well , I was feeling real despair but realised with a bit of help from the Dr Google (I know) that he is depressed but dealing with it in the way men do apparently (by taking it out on us and generally behaving badly) and he is bringing me down too. So I booked to see a RL doctor and have found a Dr Lovely (yeah). who helped me get things in perspective. I now have a Counsellor, sleeping pills and offer of anti Ds if I need them (but feel my body has had enough pills) and DH came back from work last night in full talking and caring mode ( I somehow found where to click) . He has had a Counsellor, for a year now but I fell into the trap of putting him first because he has had so much stress and let him get away with bad behaviour. Feeling less trapped now but Kk, agree life's too short , and also that surely after BC they really should appreciate what they could have lost and not take us for granted.

It said everything that the site I found that explained the difference in the way men and women manifest depression had a long section about how you support a man who has depression but no such section for women

Dr Lovely also getting me bloods for Calcium and Vit D etc and bone scan to make sure osteopenia hasn't progressed

Sorry all a bit inarticulate and me me me but I hope migraines , sicknesses etc are banished , and kk that the sun shines on you and Dh

Oh Copt - sounds as if you have really be going through the mill, - you must feel emotionally exhausted. I'm glad you managed to at least talk with DH even if he hasn't necessarily taken everything on board - it sounds as if he is trying and prepared to talk now.

Also good that you have found a Dr Lovely, I'm sure the counsellor will help - someone objective and 'outside' to talk to, will always bring new insights and ideas, and just talking helps enormously IME. - Also sleeping pills good to have -even if you don't take them all the time - knowing you have them and can get a good nights sleep when you need it is invaluable - when you can't sleep everything is overwhelming.

I hope things improve from now on for you, - I think sometimes partners (and people in general who haven't experienced cancer) think that when the treatment stops, that's it you are better, life goes back to normal. And I suppose for them it does, but I feel as if I have changed for ever - and like you I always feel life is to short to put up with things not being at least reasonably OK in my relationship, so I will push for resolution and change, whereas DH will stick his head in the sand.

Much love xx

Afternoon all

Had a nice chilled out day after a busy one in Bristol yesterday. Had appointment at dental hospital with DS - they are not going to give him dentures yet, but maybe this time next year we can start thinking about it. The 2 new teeth that have grown down are looking good, apparently - enamel good quality and teeth look strong. (for newbies, DS has a genetic disorder which means that his teeth, hair and skin have failed to develop properly. He only has four teeth, no capacity to sweat and very sparse, white blond hair.)

Big hugs for you copt - its rotten when you feel down and can see no way out. That's how I felt, and my counsellor has really helped with working through everything - not just BC stuff but how I respond to things and my habit of self-deprecation. Glad too that you've found a Dr Lovely - everyone needs one of them. I felt so much better once I was on ADs (I am on Trazadone, which is a AD and sleeping pill combined, in effect) - as my Dr Lovely said, it doesn't make you rampantly happy all the time, it just evens out the lumps and bumps of life, and the troughs become less black and hard work. Hang in there, lovely and keep talking - with DH and with us too.

Sending big hugs to poorly kurri as well - sounds like you need them for coping with DH at the moment. Would DH come with you to walk old lady dog? Or go to a National Trust property or similar, or lunch out? I think its positive to think of things that you can do together, particularly if they can get you out of the house and away from the computer. Thinking of you so much at the moment x x x x

gig was news today, my love? How's the pain? Hope you are bearing up OK.

topsy how's the head? Better, I hope x x x

sparkle people can be such arses. Tell them to bugger off if it will make you feel better. I gave a "glare of death" to a boy who was staring at my DS the other day. Hope work went OK today - first day back always gives me butterflies too. It gets easier once you are back into the swing of things, I find.

MAS sorry you're feeling low after your friend left. Sending you lots of hugs x x x

Waving to all - pen, gracie, sometimes, sr, coorong, ashokan and anyone else around.

Big love to everyone - you are all fantastic.

Well done Little Ned on nice strong teeth - did you have time for any sight seeing in Bristol Ned - or was there only time for hospital?

walking with DH is a good idea - he does like walking normally, and if the weather is nice I might be able to chivvy him out of the door Thank you for thinking of me lovely xx

I am feeling much better now tummy-wise - and have celebrated by making some giant ginger cookies (not deliberately giant - they just seemed to spread rather a lot and are the size of tea plates ) will throw a couple on the trolley (believe me - a couple will feed everyone!)

I'm going to zumba tomorrow - which will make me gasp like an old man, but I still enjoy it (I usually do keep fit - but KF lady is on a course so zumba lady has stepped in).

Asho hasn't been on for a few days I don't think - hope you are OK sweetie, and not feeling poorly.

Hope you had a reasonable day Gig and are feeling better all the time.

Am reading and waving to all esp those havjng bit of hard time (copthall and kurri). Pain under control now but as weak as anything (have low potassium too) and very tired. Should be out tomorrow. Think part of my issue is was told it was overnight procedure when clearly a much bigger deal than that. But the good news is if worked (even if I am knackered).

Can someone feed me some fbs please?

Hugs and love to you all.

Thank you for lovely support. Work was fine, once got into the flow, although felt a bit deer in the headlights today. De had to be sent home from school at lunchtime, pain and exhaustion which is a b*gger. Sometimes it is hard to ignore other people's behaviour, and get on with the important stuff, it gets me down, but you lovelies are so good and seeing through all that!

Copt - wow you are just amazing!. Would be interested to know which website you found that info on, dh has Dix clinical depression, he is medicated to get through ever day, but am always interested to learn as much as possible.

glad to hear it worked, gig nicks some of the girls popcorn to put on the trolley. Afraid I've got to try harder at the diet another 3 lb on today :( banished from living room as dd2 having sleepover. Glad to hear little ned had a good day in Bristol. Hugs for those in need.
Nnight all.

Thanks for kind thoughts, feeling better today helped by potter in garden as sun set, now beginning to feel like spring might actually arrive. I think that will help a lot KK, both for walking and spiritually enhancing gardening. Been thinking a lot in the last couple of days of Stevie Smith's poem, Not waving but drowning, which is what I think I have been doing really. DH still talking and behaving himself, but trip to Barcelona will be a challenge...Also fully aware that, another consequence of BC, I have a lot to be thankful for, they are what my DDs call, first world problems.....

Sparkle I'm not sure how good the website actually is but www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_men_male.htm comes with a Dr Google health warning but it did make sense. I supported a friend through some spectacular bipolar manic highs and terrible lows, lost myself a bit there too, so I know what you mean about wanting to understand but at the same time I think everyone is different and as Dr Lovely said, there are no easy answers for how you support people.

gigs

Morning All
I'm alive !
Think I've had a bug of sorts .
Migraine , sore throat , felt a bit vommitty ...
Feeling human today , thank God .
Because 8 of my fave women in the world are descending on my house from various parts of the UK , for a weekend of child free drunkan debauchery !!!

KK hope DH isn't giving you too much hassle now , and that he gets his head out of his arse soon !

Cop hope things are ok with you too .

Gigs my love , sounds like you had an awful time ! But so glad the initial Bionification went well .
When is stage 2 ?
And are you going to Tesco before ?

Mas saw the Facebook photo this morning . What is it that's being published ? I want to add it to my bookshelf !

To everyone else , mwah !
I have to go , so much to do before my ladies arrive . (We all met on a different Internet site 10 years ago , and we meet up at least once a year . So there's hope for a tamoxifen meet up yet !)

Good morning from me. Sorry to read about those that are having a hard time. I have had a busy few days with the children so not much chance to catch up.
I have had a few days of terrible paranoia and am finding it hard that I have to wait 6 months to find out if I have any spread and need more treatment. I am feeling physically fine but my mind is now in overdrive. Maybe going back to work will take my mind off it but I am worried any stress will tip me over the edge.
I think kk put it very well and you do not go back to normal after treatment. I too feel very changed and feel very differently about life now. Not sure how the new me will fit in with old friends etc.

Glad to hear the op worked gigs and the pain is under control. Do you know when you will be home ?

Waving to everyone and putting yummy breakfast croissants on the trolley.

Ooh topsy have a fab weekend sounds wonderful

Morning all! That is an interesting site, copt. Doctor gave me a tentative diagnosis of bipolar II when I had a rather spectacular breakdown in 2001. That site mentions something that I had thought, that ads are not good for bipolar. Can push into mania. I was at outpatients before the incident and maybe the drugs I was given contributed to the episode? I managed to get drug free in 8 months and have been pretty well over the last 12 years but I do watch sleep, diet and exercise. Always conscious that I am overdue an episode, first one was 1992, post first baby...

Topsy, hope you have a fab weekend!!

Jchoc, you might never have another episode. But if you do, it won't matter a jot to your friends here :-)

Thanks for the link Copt! Will have a goo clock at it now!