I need to stop, help me please

[boozefree]

I've changed my name for this as I'm a regular and very ashamed of myself. God, I hope it changes I am really scared and worried about the amount of alchohol I drink and I need to stop, now. I "posted" this in my head earlier and decided it would be too long, so here's a shorter version. I have read some of the other threads about alcohol and agreed with them all. Full of good intentions but can't stop. Just habit really, not drinking mornings, or even lunch times. Just start cooking tea and reach for the wine. I am really podgy now and need to lose weight for June, when I'm going on holiday. Help please, straight talking's great but it won't stop me. Sympathy would be good too but I feel like a completely crap mum and a boozy person

Ok, so what are you really facing here? How long can you go without an evening glass of wine? Can you manage a night without a glass at all? More than a night?
How much do you drink in an evening? A bottle -less or more?

I was going to change my name for this but thought i would brave it out. I have a problem with drink and to be honest i think i always have I am just like you tha i dont drink in the day and i don't need to drink as soon as i wake up , but i have to drink i nthe night. It is taking its toll on both my health and my figure. Is there a reason you drink? I thin k for me is because i get so anxious all the time and it helps to relax me. Does your dp/h know?

Being a bit boozy does not by definition make you a crap mum and admiting you are having trouble is great. Have you identified anything particular that makes you want a drink or is just the having a drink that gives you soemthing "extra"?

could you not drink some non-alchoholic wine instead
whilst cooking the tea
with a lookalike bottle

sorry if it seems stupid
but maybe it is a habit like a ciggie and a cuppa in the morning iykwim

I've cut down on my drinking because as Scouse said it was just a habit. For me the only way is to not have it in the house - if it's there I drink it.

It really isn't as easy as that though. Just thinking that there is no drink in the house makes me panic How much would you say you drunk a night?

I can empathise totally boozefree. I have been drinking quite a lot recently. I start when the kids are in bed, almost every night. I justify to myself that I am not dependent becuase I can go for a few days without a drink. It doesn't make me feel like a crap mum. It is not interefing with my caring for them. It isn't affecting other areas of my lilfe either. Although it does make me a bit more lucid on MSN . Do you think you'd feel better if you waited until the kids were in bed? Could you manage that? The reason I drink (I think) is to relax me, and out of lonliness, iyswim.

Decided it was not worth changing my name for this. Those that 'know' me, probably already know about this, and already have their opinions!

How much do you drink?

About a bottle a night, sometimes moreusually before my Dh has got it. It's so easy to do, cooking and it's not always through stress. I can be cooking and reading a book, swigging wine. Made me realise how much I shut out the kids although mine are older and don't need "playing with" now. See, now I really feel like a rubbish mum. My DH drinks more than me and we have been through some rough stuff lately. He had a real problem with it, still does to some extent 'cos I will stop. He carries on, sometimes with spirits etc. We never go out (long story) and only drink at home. Saying that, I have had days where I've been ill and not craved drink. I can be out the house at 4/5pm and not "need" a drink, it's just habit. BUT I read somewhere that if you change your life around booze, it controls you. Well, I have kids who need lifts places and although I never, ever have been over the limit, I have had a glass of wine before I take them out And then I've always tried to do split lifts with my friend 'cos otherwise I can't drink. Saying that, if I'm taking other people's kids in my car, I won't drink at all, but I'm getting twitchy waiting until I get back. Sound so sad, don't I?

I don't think you sound sad at all. i know exactly how you feel. Last night i went to the gym for the first time, and the only thing that was keeping me going while i was there was that i could get home and have a few glasses of wine

You are not 'sad' boozefree, but it does sound like you are a bit more dependent than you perhaps think, and more that you'd like to be. What about setting yourself a limit tonight, say half a bottle, and making a conscious effort to stop after that and have a bath and go to bed early? Or, dont start until after you've cooked the dinner, if you think you will have reached that point before you've finished.

You are not a rubbish mum. You are a brave mum who is acknowledging that you are not happy about this and sound like you want to do something about it. Keep talking and people on here will give you encouragement, I'm sure.

I think I've played it down a little too. Pepperpots, you sound so like me and if I read between the lines, we are both more worried than is coming across?

It's very easily done boozefree, especially with the bloody huge glasses we all use now. I can easily drink a bottle of wine whilst cooking, eating and relaxing and not even feel that drunk, just merry and happy. But it worries me health-wise. Try and cut down during the week and save it for weekends, that's what I'm going to try and do.

I have days where I use little glasses, have my three and DH has the rest. Trouble is, he downs a glass straight down as soon as he's in the house and then when I'm being good, I hear the "pop" of another cork. Well, it's so easy to say yes and then I end up drinking three more, slowly over the evening which takes me up to the full bottle. Quite often, DH will open another (so that's three in one night) and when I get up in the mroning there's only a glass left. Feels so out of my control and yet I'm the only one who can stop it. Never get drunk, well very rarely and that's scary too.

I am terrified if truth be told my dp hardly drinks at all, and tells me i need to calm down, the other night while cleaning the kitchen i managed to drink a whole bottle of wine in under an hour and a half I can't see myself ever being sober in the night this has been going on for over a year now. How long has it been for you?

I know it's not that easy But you have to start somewhere and with the best will in the world, if you have a bottle in the house that's what you will drink. If it's not there you can't drink it.

But you also need to get your dh/dp on side. Set yourselves a target of one night without drink and go from there.

What about seeking other help too - from your GP maybe?

I've always drunk loads, but I can't remember when it was different. I stopped for all my pregnancies, well odd glass throught the 9 months but I've stopped smoking for nearly three years now so feel a little noble about something. I don't buy it usually, but ask DH to get some on the way home. Am twitching by the time he gets in and have occasionally had to go and get a bottle if he's working late. He doesn't help, if he brings one bottle in he goes to the offie and gets another or what's worse, he'll buy a crate of six!Been to doc's, no help really, just suggested cutting down as I am way over limit for lady!

Yes my gp found out when they done routine bloods and found my levels of something in my liver (cannot for the life of me remember wht they were called) was three times what they should have been for a woman of my age and the only advoce i was given was to "cut down"

You need to talk to him boozefree. My dh used to bring drink in for me. He still does sometimes - presents me with a glass of red and before you know it the whole bottle's gone. I think it was actually a bit of a guilt thing for him, he wanted a drink and thought I ought to have one (?) too. You need his support to help you cut down.

I just want to say that it's great that you're facing up to this and that you want to stop. That counts for a lot in my book. I wish you luck.

Have you had a drink yet this evening? Maybe we can offer some cyber support on here? I drink less with screw top bottles. Also have started drinking more water - I drink a large glass of water first then the red wine doesn't seem so attractive (or at least I drink it more slowly).

Well, it's Thursday and I didn't drink last night! Only because I've got that horrible virus that makes you feel sick, but not be and feels like I have flu. My mind is racing and my body's saying "NO". I feel better today, have nagged at kids re homework but felt very noble last night (very wobbly) but very noble.

Well done. One day at a time.

Thanks for all the encouragemnt, I'll try not to tonight as well. Had a really bad night's sleep as well, came on and spent the night feeling sick and running to the loo.Dh had had loads of beer but brought me tea in bed, 'cos I was moasning about being unloved and unwanted. Honestly, feel the kids would only notice me if I was lying dead on the floor (mind you, they'd probably step over me shouting "where's my...whatever item I am supposed to have hidden)!

Boozefree well done you on not drinking having a stomach bug could be the way to go hey? maybe i could do with one too