*tamoxifen* 31- in the bus shelter with the cheap booze

[Gigondas]

Shiny new thread

Hello to all who remember me, just wanted to wish all you lovely people a Happy New Year.

Helloooooo ILGC!!
And hello everyone else.
And Happy New Year!!!

Happy Nooooo Year!

Well, I seem to be in a minority of one....have always loved New Year parties, something to do with all that hugging and kissing at midnight maybe

Have fond memories of New Years past......friendly happy crowd like a mini Trafalgar Square in Covent Garden one year. Kissing policemen. My lovely old friend Sally and I entertaining a whole tube carriage with our all-singing, all-dancing, vodka-fuelled rendition of New York, New York....

Nothing doing tonight . Was invited to a mad friend's party with a Carry On fancy dress theme, but it was called off.

So I shall scatter my Lidl party snacks on the FBS trolley and share my prosecco with you all

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't been around for a while. I've been wrapped up with preparing for Christmas, and eldest son's birthday. He's just become a teenager - I can 't believe I've got a teenage son!

Hi to Pen - sorry to hear your news. Hope it didn't ruin your Christmas. Not sure now whether you have a date for your op, but hope its not too far away.

It's funny, even though I finished my treatment a couple of months ago, I've been dwelling on bc recently. I think it's because my period is overdue, which I think is due to the tamoxifen. It's strange not having them. I've been working myself up over bc recurrence rates.

However, I have been told that I'm no longer eligible for the drug trail which I was considering, because I'm too low risk. Part of me is slightly disappointed as I would have liked to be part of the battle to fight the disease.

I wrote in one of my first posts that I didn't feel like I had cancer as I never felt ill, had a small lump and found all the treatment relatively easy. Part of me feels that it will come back twice as hard, or why have I ad it easy whilst others have had it worst.

Sorry, don't mean to be so self indulgent. Thank you if you have taken the time to read this. I didn't mean to when I started this post. It was want to be a ' hi ya' post.

Happy new year!

Happy New Year all.

Lovely to see old friends back on the thread, hope all is well with you ILGC and the DC are all doing well too. Waving madly to Lime, HNY lovely.

and cheers to everyone - the best and most brilliant bunch of women on t'internet or in fact anywhere else xx

x-posted invicta happy new year sweetheart, - your fears regarding recurrence are totally, totally normal - I'm sure we've all felt like that at times (I still do and it's over four years for me).

And don't feel guilty or bad that you have had less treatment than some people have to have - it's great that you got through your treatment well, but like everyone you've had to deal with 'having cancer' - and that's the biggest trial IMO - so be kind to yourself, it takes times to come to terms with all the changing emotions.
You know you can always drop in here for a bit of TLC xx

Happy new year everybody's!

Happy New Year old friends and new - off to get dd then can have a ! cheers lovelies

Happy new year to you all !

The advantage of not drinking is that I was at the beach by 7:30 this morning and watched the beautiful sunrise.

This time next year cancer will be just a memory for me I hope.

Well done pen I love the sunrise at the beach. I'll drink a to that.

Morning all and Happy New Year to us all - may this year bring us health and heppiness - God knows, we deserve it!

Waves to old friends - ILGC - great to see you! Hows the DCs doing?

lime ! good to see you! How have you been? Good Christmas with DCs?

invicta the fear of recurrence is very natural - I am a complete master of being terrified by the thought of it at the moment. My doc says that it is like a grieving process and that for me (diagnosed Jan 2012) it is all too raw to be able to put the fears to one side yet, but that it does get easier with time. Just be good to yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal. My doc is ace at listening to my fears - I had a recurrence fear in November, which turned out to be an infection - and checking whatever it is that I am worried about, so hope your GP is good too. Take it easy, lovely.

Sun shining here, so taking DS for a romp in the woods - he needs some de-bouncing!

Lots of love to you all x x x x x

Happy New Year from me too!! Had a great time last night and am feeling slightly shoddy, so will leave Topsy's Advocaat for now.

Waving excitedly to SR, ILGC and Lime. How are you both?? Hope full of festive cheer and not in the doldrums in any way. SR, did you have a lovely time with your DC back home again? Lime did you sort the divorce? Hope that's done and dusted now.

Sunrise sounds lovely, Pen. Staring at the sun rising on the first day of the year sounds defiantly life affirming.

Invicta, the recurrence worry's totally irksome and every ache from now on will doubtless lurch you to paranoia. I've had more scares than I can remember and my only solace is that it's normal and all part of it. That's why we're all still here in lots of ways, as we all know that fear and how constant it is in our thoughts. Does get easier though, I promise.

Ned, I have sent DH out to 'de-bounce' my DS. I told them I was going to clean up the house, but so far I've got as far as here.

Must be more addled than I thought. I said 'How are you both?' to 3 people..

Sitting infront of a roaring fire , watching Wizard of Oz , debating whether to open up a bottle of summat fizzy to wash down the pâté on toast I am about to make (Tesco Finest Brussels pâté was on casualty corner for 5p a packet !!!!!)

Hope the start to every bodies New Year has been good . May the rest of the year follow suit .

Happy New Year everyone, hope no one by which I mean Smee obviously is feeling too delicate after last night, and hope that DC are all de bounced and everyone is settling down to a nice evening.
We are going to watch Up, having just watched the Frog Princess

I think I may go and search out something fizzy too topsy.

KurriKurri I highly recommend 'Up'. I hope you have a lovely time watching it!

Loma - I suspect it will make me cry - I am a wuss for sad films.

I am really struggling today. I think it is the whole new year thing and now it is all over the reality of cancer and surgery and treatment and the rest of my life terrified it will come back is sinking in.

I had a big meltdown earlier. I don't know how I am going to cope with this. I have long pre op assessment tomorrow and then I am supposed to be working Thursday and Friday but I really don't think I will cope at work.

Do you think my GP will sign me off until after the op ? I h
Just don't see how I can go into work and not cry all day.

Arf @ smee how's the head this evening?! Did you get any further with the house cleaning?

pen you poor love. Get thee to your doctor and get signed off. I was signed off for the 13 days between diagnosis and my surgery, as I was worried about being an emotional wreck - not a good look for a teacher. . . There is no need for you to be at work if it is going to be hard work and stressful, particularly if you are not in a fit state to function. You need to protect yourself and allow yourself time to come to terms with everything. You are better off being signed off and taking some time for yourself. Meltdowns are healthy when they allow you to let off steam and articulate to those who love you exactly how you are feeling. Sometimes its good to let rip - I know I have done, and still do occasionally.

The pre-op assessment will make it feel like things are moving in the right direction - I know I felt like things were actually getting moving and I was one step closer to the bloody thing being gone.

Stick with us, lovely - we all know what it feels like and can completely sympathise. Feel free to rant and rave as much as you like on here.

I got an email from the private counsellor I was recommended by Dr JustAsLovely and I am seeing him on Friday afternoon. Little bit scared. . .

It is daunting ned so hugs and but stick with it as it does help.

Loma yes get signed off if you need it- have you been in touch with Macmillan or specialist nurse about someone to talk to.

Happy new year all- was champagne and early night here.

I have some paperwork from the hospital but I can't bear to look at it. The specialist nurse details are in there. What can she do now though ? I need to get my head together and she can't help with that.

I am a health professional so I find it very hard to deal with other HP's as a patient. The nurse asked me 'how do you feel' about 30 mins after my diagnosis. Not a good time to say that.

She will probably help more than most as will have seen it more than most. I too am cynical about hcp but wouldn't have coped Without my specialist nurse.

It is a first port of call as the other alternatives are your Gp (who may be brilliant but it is varied - mine looks at me with the head on one side patronising crap), Macmillan (ring the helpline) or to find some support group. Of course you can go it alone (people do) but having been through this and other shit times, I don't think it is the easiest or wisest thing to do.

I have looked online and can't find a decent website / forum for they type of cancer I have,

I am going to look at the Macmillan site now.

Thanks for the support.