*tamoxifen* 31- in the bus shelter with the cheap booze

[Gigondas]

Shiny new thread

Of course you can join us penis. This waiting is absolutely the worst time as your head fills with all kinds of nightmares. But you will feel better once you know what is going on and the plan for any treatment is.

In terms of filling your days, come on here to vent or chat as much as you need. We have all been there so can hold your hand.

In terms of practically filling your days, what helps you most? Being busy or being able to retreat under the duvet ? If former, try and make a to do list of stuff to do to fill your days. If latter, can you ask friends and families to help with kids so you can retreat to sleep read Mn or watch tv.

And yes it is a shit time of year to get news but there is no good time - hugs and love for you.

Ps woman at work had thyroid cancer and made complete recovery.

I work with a lot of palliative people. Not sure if going to work will be good or bad for me. I am off Monday to do all the Xmas shopping / wrapping etc then only have 2 days of work to get through.

I am scared of telling people at work in case I cry

Morning All
And a special morning and welcome to Penis sniggers like a teenage boy at the name
Sorry you find yourself here , but it probably is the best place you could have come to !
We talk sense , we don't subscribe to Dr Google , and we have the best snack trolley on the Internet .

I'm not going to tell you not to worry , because that ain't gonna happen !
We shall just hold your hand till your appointment , hopefully you won't need us after Thursday and we can send you on your way .
But if you get bad news , we are here for that too . It's not just breast cancer here .

Off horse riding soon .
Then I think an afternoon on the sofa is called for . Still feeling unreasonably tired and head achey .
Have our big family lunch tomorrow , so need to perk up for that .

How are the hands today Mas ?

Welcome to the board pen (said she shyly). I have recently been through a few weeks of hell going from a routine mammo to diagnosis and surgery and although I feel like a wrung out rag I can safely say the waiting was the worst of it and I too was terrified of bursting into tears at work in the waiting period. For me it helped telling my best mate there - a bloke, but one I knew wouldn't turn a hair or go all overly sympathetic (which I couldn't handle). At least then I had someone to moan to when the normal annoyance was getting to me without having to make some grand declaration. Also remember that a. You don't know if anything serious has been found and b. medical care nowadays is amazing. You'll get through this and out the other side.

Hi there penis, and welcome to the thread, but very sorry of course that you are going through this worry.

I know it's awful having to wait for appointments to get results, stick around and let us hold your hand. Can you take someone to your appointment with you for a bit of support? - it can be helpful, especially if there is a lot of info to take in.

I know you will worry and obviously I don't have any medical knowledge, but I have had thyroid problems for the last 3 years, and a range of treatments, thyroid is very complex and all sorts of things can go wrong with it, and they do tend to want to treat some things (that aren't cancer) pretty quickly because it can make you feel very ill if left.

I hope we can support you for the next few days while you wait to find out what's what
And I wouldn't be too bothered about bursting into tears on others - it happens, and in fact I think make it easier in some ways for people to offer you support. (And it sounds as if you are in one of the caring professions, so your colleagues may well be a great support to you) Go with what you feel comfortable with whether it is telling people or not, but don't be scared of crying, it is perfectly normal and people will not think it is odd or embarrassing.

Morning all to everyone else, how are the hands today MAS?
Don't fall off your horse topsy, (or is it your DD who is riding today?)
Waving to Loma, Gracie and Gig.

Some sun here today at last , I am going to marzipan the Christmas cake in a minute, when I've had a coffee and a wodge of toast, - anyone else want some?

Waving back kurri and envious that you're baking. That's my fave sort if therapy when I'm low. Mind you, never worked with marzipan. I find tray bakes and biscuits suit my lack of finess better.

Oh and yes please to a tiny slice with some lemon tea, if I may?

• it's not a very tiny slice because its the kind of bread that's hard to slice thinner than a doorstop

DD is making my b'day cake and some mince pies this afternoon, - she loves baking, I have to be v. strict with myself when she makes stuff as I'm trying to lose weight, - she of course is thin as a pin despite scoffing large chunks of cake

naughtynameperson I'm sorry to hear you are in that horrible land of the unknown. I entirely sympathise with your worries about crying. I felt the need to be a virtual recluse when I was in the early stages of dx. I ventured out one day, encountered a good friend and just dissolved, something I found quite difficult. We all cope in different ways. It is important that you feel free to cope in the way that works best for you. However we all know here that the waiting and worrying about the unknown is the worst time.

My neighbour was treated for Thyroid Cancer a year or so after I was diagnosed. We are both in rude health 10 years later, something I am sure will come naturally to you in every sense of the word

DD is home and still in bed after girly late night champagne swilling, chocolate eating, Bridget Jones watching session I am loafing around in my dressing gown. It is slattern central here at the moment, no worthy horse riding or baking activities, nothing to offer the trolley obviously, though possibly may have some leftover diet coke later if I get around to getting dressed and seeking cure for slight hangover ......

Mind you I will have Christmas cake when it has finished feeding on the bottle of Cuban rum I have poured over it for the last few weeks.......80% proof Christmas cake anyone?

Good afternoon all and welcome to Ms colada ...... I just has a horrible waiting period too and now I know the way forward I feel a whole lot better .... I have burst into tears several times this week but am having a good day today... These ladies are wonderful for hand holding.

As for me I had a hard day yesterday with chest tightening and a banging heart .... All to do with the DSD situation. gigs my DSD is 23 and the DSSs are 19 and 17 ... The 19 yo one is lovely btw. I know I shouldn't worry about it all but I am terribly hurt and I have gone do much for them all over the last 12 years. Anyway enough of that.

I went to see the GP yesterday as my blood pressure was high and I was obviously stressed by this and DSD. He prescribed beta blockers and put me back on my small dose of anti d and signed me off. My GP always makes me cry, he is just a nice bloke. I will catch up properly tomorrow ... I was out overnight at a friends last night it did me good to be away from home I think and today I am going on my works Christmas lunch and drunken gathering drinks poos !!! Later ladies

I've just discovered some maple syrup butter biscuits in the freezer! They go well with strong coffee. And so thin the calories go right through you without touching the sides (in a nice way). Anyone care to join me? It's tea time somewhere, I'm sure.

hands v sore- it's very boring- but my fingers really hurt- the tips- woke up in the night with them hurting. Feet are peeling like mad,but they don't hurt-and it's a nice exfoliation treatment-if a bit of a drastic one.
Hugs for hnd and enjoy your bday cake kk. We are off to do some Christmassy food shopping.

maple syrup cookies are lovely - Dh bought us a load in Canada last year - they didn't last long! - it's nice to know they are virtually calorie free - I wonder what other thin foodstuffs I can eat working on the same principal? - crisps almost certainly, and maybe After Eights too

HND - - get that topsy to give you a big hug when she's finished bouncing about on a horse. I hope the beta blockers help - I had them when my thyroid was v-overactive and I had banging heart, - they settled things down very quickly. I don't know if its of any help or interest to you, but there is a step parents board on this forum, (search under the parenting talk topic) - it may not be what you want, but thought I'd mention it just in case

Have a lovely Christmas lunch.
MAS enjoy your food shopping, - hope it's not to manic in the shops. What sort of pain relief have they given you for your hands?, - maybe they need to up it a bit if its waking you

a waffer thin mint is aan ideal thin food-have just bought some...and ferrrero rochers-yum. We looked at cheeses and crackers (as in Christmas crackers) -M&S seem good,though haven't looked at Waitrose ones- bought a Christmas pudding and dh bought me Nesquik to encourage more milk drinking -it's very very sweeet,so won't have it too often.
I have no pain relief for the hands-not sure what would work on them.
I hope ned is enjoying the wedding

Are they swollen? If not co codamol is good and might help with other issues.

I spent about 2 hours doing a Xmas list then deciding what went on the sainsburys order and what went on the ocado order. Perhaps over thinking it .

Christmas beer cheese and marron glacé from French France .

Is it usual to argue with your dh whilst waiting ?

I am so stressed and upset all I want to do is lie in bed and cry. I have done Xmas shopping cooked a full roast dinner done the washing etcetera today.

I really don't know if I can face work Monday but don't want to go sick in case I need sick time for treatment

Hello Ms Colada, I was at your stage in 2009 - just before christmas and I do sympathise during the awful waiting. Yes I do think its normal to argue and feel dreadful - of course it is.

I decided to tell people at my own pace - once I had firm results. I felt better after I told my self this was my decision- so if I didn't want to tell people I didn't until the time was right for me. Telling friends and colleagues and family is really hard because i think you're having to face up to what's happening each time you say it, and you're also worrying aboutm how the person will react (and they do vary!)

So I suggest just treat yourself very kindly over the next few days - conserve a bit of energy - have some walks if they help. There's no 'right' way to be for the time being.

In my experience (and mst on this thread) you do feel better when you know what you're dealing with and what the treatment plan is. So try to take one step at a time and don't let your mind whirl round all the worst possible scenarios all the time. Try to deal with what you actually know. (Hard I know).

Good luck and a big hug. (And we've all wept/howled at times I can tell you - no point trying not to really..)

Did you also know that if you eat ANY food standing up , then it's calorie free ?

Penis arguing , crying , hiding in bed . All perfectly normal .
I even planned the music for my funeral at one point
You do what you need to do to get through this !

KK it was dd horse riding !
I've yet to find a horse brave enough to take me on ...

Having a lazy evening on the sofa this evening .
Fire is lit , coffee is beside me , and crochet on the go .

Oh and DH smashed my bottle of Baileys

How did he do that ? I would offer you some of my red wine and the huge basket of chocolate/sweeties that am eating .

penis arguing , crying and a whole slew of emotions normal. I could even "see"(as in hallucinate) funeral cars outside my house.

Other people's food also non calorific topsy- professor gigondas fact that. It's like a policeman can't arrest you if they aren't wearing their hat.

DD's invited a friend to our's for Christmas, which is fine as we'll have our family plus 2-3 other single friends in any case. But this will be the first time I've done a vegan Christmas!

I've been googling and already have a list of lovely recipes. DD says he's a good cook so should be fine. Its also his 21st birthday on Christmas Eve!! (he's Australian so a long way from home)

DH and DCs are veggie so I guess it' s just that extra step...

BTW sorry I've not been here much - work's pretty full on at present - I'm looking forward to having 10 days off. Our week-end in Stuttgart was fab though - sparkling snow and fairy tale castles and Christmas markets everywhere - its poss I've already posted this but can't recall! Anyway its was lovely! So now we'll have tiwn themes for Christmas - German (due to goodies brought back) and vegan.
x

Does anyone else try to avoid soya? Due to its oestrogen-like properties I avoid it, as I'm on drugs to bash all oestrogen so it'd be a bit silly to eat it. But hm, lots of vegan recipes use it...

pen Agree with everyone else being horrible to those around you is entirely normal. My parents came to stay when I was going through diagnosis and I reverted to obnoxious teenager. Whenever they tried to comfort me I would throw some new horror I was facing back at them. "You don't understand. I'm going to be a bald, one boobed and brain damaged, no one will want to go out with me" They said after they didn't mind at all, it was just like old times.... In contrast I found my husband's emotionally crippled reticence strangely comforting and I was actually nice to him for a change whereas at other times of stress it normally infuriates me, as you would know if you were in the vicinity of either of my labours.

sandripples the jury is still out on soya . It's plant Estrogen is not proven to act like Estrogen on Estrogen positive tumours, unlike the bad estrogens generated by environmental pollution, alcohol consumption etc. In fact there are Asian studies that show that Asian women diagnosed with Breast Cancer actually do better if they stick to a diet rich in Soya. The traditional Asian diet, high in soya, low in dairy is associated with very low rates of Breast Cancer in Asian women, whilst when they switch to a western diet the rates become the same as for western women. My Consultant and Wonky Oncy in Hong Kong were very pro Soya, and the wonky oncy was anti practically everything else, you might as well book the hearse when eating a cheese sandwich . There is a theory that like Tamoxifen the type of Oestrogen found in Soya fixes to the Estrogen receptors on the tumour and prevents the other estrogens getting to them. So it might be actually good to eat Soya. However it is just a theory, no one knows, but then they don't really understand how Tamoxifen works either.

Personally after reading all the literature, I do eat edamame (soya beans) and considerable amounts of soy sauce (only Kikkoman brand though, most of the rest are mainly caramel juice and who knows what else if they are actually Made in China). I always think when the medics opinions are so different, anything in moderation.

Sorry I seems to have messed up my strike outs but you see what I mean...

MAS The hands sound horrible. Have you tried the pain relieving gels on your finger tips? Also does ice help relieve the pain? A packet of frozen peas wrapped in a soft cloth would mould around your finger tips.