Desperately BAD Midwives - Your experiences.

[leonsmum]

Inspired by another thred on things that get your blood boiling, I thought I'd start a thred on useless, careless, thoughtless midwives. Have you had the misfortune of being landed with one during or after labour and did it set you on a path of difficulty, guilt and stress?

I was left in the care pf one such midwife after
giving birth to my son. Despite being told that I wanted to breastfeed, she promptly confiscated him from me after 30 mins and left him in a CAR SEAT on the hospital reception ALL NIGHT. I was too trusting and overwelmed by everything to question this until morning when I eventually had to buzz said midwife to get him back.

My baby didn't manage to breast feed for 4, stressful anxious days. Despite me and my partner pleading for help from an array of midwives, every 30 mins, it wasn't until I totally broke down and threatened to leave the hospital that a decent midwife examined him, realised he was dehydrated and actually gave us some real help. One midwive had even REFUSED to give me a pump and so all he'd had for days was the tiny droplets of colestrum that i'd managed to hand express.

It was all sorted out over time by this good midwife and i dread to think what would have happened if she hadn't of come along when she did.

It was a horrible introduction to motherhood and shouldn't have been allowed tto happen.

Oh my God, leonsmum! that is so ! Did you write a formal letter of complaint?
All the midwives who helped me through and after labour were lovely but I did have a horrible experience with one when I was pregnant with ds3.
I'd gone to see her because I was being sick all day, every day and she was a specialist acupuncturist. I'd had to rush there from work (horrid part-time job that was stressing me out) and when she asked me how I was I just burst into tears.
Then she said, "Oh dear. You know it's not too late to do something about this if you don't want the baby"
Couldn't believe it - she didn't know me from Adam and she was suggesting a termination!

My midwives ranged from Ok to brilliant but I did feel sorry for my poor Granny when she told me what happened to her when she was in labour with my mum.

It was 1945 and she was pretty young and totally on her own as no DH with you in those days. She went into labour in the evening and the midwife told her that she was off to bed and under NO circumastances was my Granny to even think of waking her up and left her to labour on her own all night ! She's 86 now but still upset about it.

Women are so vulnerable in labour, it makes my blood boil if professionals don't take account of that! It'd be nice to think that we've moved on substantially since 1945 but some people's stories make me wonder .

When I was in labour with DS1 (contractions 4 minutes apart)nasty evil midwife told me that I should have stayed at home until it was absolutely necessary! We lived an hour away from the hospital.

I had to sit in the post natal ward for an hour before being allowed into the labour ward. Other midwives got wind of this and Ihad a lovely time after that!!

I was in labour for fifty hours with DS (regular and painful from the word go) and I had ONE encouraging thing said to me during all that time. ONE. And that was "you're using the gas and air well".

The exhaustion and agony wouldn't have gone away with different treatment from the MWs I know, but with real genuine encouragement I think I would have coped better.

most of the midwifes that looked after me were poxy, but 1 sticks in my mind, id had some bleeding early on, and a few weeks after id asked when id get my proof of pregnancy form so i could sort out my maternity allowence, her reply was something along the lines of, oh we dont give you that till 26 weeks, as its very common for women to lose their babys before that! now i know miscarriage is sadly common, but surely she could have put it a bit nicer, i spent every day till i was 26 weeks worried that my baby was going to die.

I had an evil woman who insisted I have a bath before she touched me (I am not manky, honest) then poured me one so hot I had burns on the bottoms of my feet. She broke my waters when examinined me then called me a 'dirty girl' and pushed me off the bed so she could change the sheets. She told me, without examining me, that I would have to have and episotomy and refused to discuss it any further. She strapped me down to the bed with monitors and would not consider allowing me to change position. I kept on trying to move onto my side or onto my knees and she would push me back.

I had Post Traumatic Stress after the birth. I blame her for a lot of it.

Jesus slug! What a cow. I had one old bat come and yank DS out of bed with me in the hospital, wouldn't let me sleep with him after feeding...luckily she was only there one night.

Hi Juliab,
I never got around to writing a complaint letter because I was so busy with DS. Wish I had done now because looking back, it was appaling. The were one or two midwives that deserved a medal though, unfortunatley, they were in the minority.

The ward was pretty bad on the hygiene front too

1. Blood on the floor and the toilet seat from the rooms previous occupants.
2. Coackroaches - Me and DS had to move rooms at about 3am in the morning after cockroaches were found in our room.

slug, that sounds horrific, I'm not surprised you had post traumatic stress. Did you complain?

after a forty hour labour and an emergency c section i was left in the 'care' of the midwife from hell, in the middle of the night. i asked her to help me breastfeed and she tutted and yanked my ds's head so hard he started screaming. she then took him away and said she would walk him around to calm him down, which i didn't want her to do. After buzzing and calling for twenty minutes for my baby back, another midwife came and told me my baby was having a good feed - the woman had been giving him donated breast milk, signed out for another baby. I was distraught. Made breastfeeding very hard for the next few days. It triggered terrible nightmares about ds being taken from me. I saw her in sainsburys recently and she followed us around. i really hate her actually, and I can't say that for many people.

Nothing like as bad as these horrendous experiences (so ladies), but I did have a battleaxe who checked me in with dd2 (who was a VBAC). She put me on a monitor and then phoned through to a colleague (I guess to warn them that I was coming onto labour ward) and I heard her say (very loudly... think I was meant to hear) 'I've read her birth plan, and it's very demanding'!

labour ward mws were pretty good (apart from the fact I'm pretty sure no-one ever bothered getting my consent to the episiotomy)

the postnatal ward night mw was not great - when I said how tired I was, she said "you're always be tired now, you've got a baby", and when trying to latch DS on, put her beefy arms all over my bladder and uterus (yowww). Then I had agonising urinary retention all night - she told me to have a shower/take some paracetamol. It wasn't until the day mw took over that I got catheterised. I'm hoping that I haven't been put at risk of permanent bladder damage by being left with a ?distended bladder overnight

should have parped myself here really, shouldn't I!!!

slug, maybe we had same one? mine was vbac and on monitor all tiem, v quick so she'd made me scared by sayign gotta get it out quick then put me on stirrups - asked to do it standing she says 'I've never heard of that, have you' to other one. quite frequently told not to be silly. but was just scared and had wanted to do it upright.

Post birth in ward, cldn't wee and was told to have a bath mw said wld come along and didnt'. luckily had left door open as had an inkling this might be case and cleaner foudn me in bloddy bath and got doc who diagnosed frozen pelvic floor due to heamatoma - meant was still bleeding as uterus hadn't contracted properly. they operated.
that night on cs and operator/zombie section of ward they refused to turn light off as were (noisily) doing xword. I am goign to complain but need to work out how. hate labour mw much more than other morons.
is that tmi? can you explain parp and should i do it?
yeah forgot, had bb in other london borough so on handover to my borough they lost papers so wasn't visited and had to go to hosp to chase them up then they didn't believe me about haematoma and 3rd tear as wasn't on signout form. started doubting myself.

Most of the midwives i met when pragnant and after were really nice, however the midwives on the night shift after i had DD were awful! I was desperate to breastfeed but was struggling as DD didnt stay latched on properly. I found the attitude towards me horrible. They looked down their noses at me and kept sighing and rolling their eyes when i asked for help. I think that this was proberly caused by the fact that i am 19 and they didnt approve of me being a mum. They thought that i was obviously incapable of bringing up a child as i am still one myself. DD screamed from 10pm til 3:30am because she was hungry, which is why i asked them if they could cup-feed her some formula like they did for the person in the bed opposite but they refused and told me that it was wind! I hated every minute there and so discharged myself the next day. However this led to me being unable breastfeed as DD screamed all the next night until i finally gave her a bottle of formula, when she then slept for the next 4hours solid. I've now got PND which was triggered by my feeling like a failure as a mum because i didnt breastfeed. This is all thanks to the unprofessional attitude of the midwives. Sorry, i've kinda gone on a bit!x

parp just means (I'm not posting because I'm just going to end up ranting). It's just a MN mannerism as it were.

I had a dragon when I was admited with bleeding at 31 weeks the mw wouldn't believe me that I was 31 weeks said I was 34 weeks and would not check it.Iwas put on the ante natal ward for 2 days having contractions.When the houseofficer saw me he said what the hell is she doing here get her on a drip now.I went to see the consultation 2 1/2 years later to talk about the birth as I was very upset about the way it had been handled and thought that it was my fault my daugther had cp.I made a complaint about her then, when I had dd2 5years after dd1 my midwife put in my notes that the dragon was not allowed to look after me or approach me at all.

Nikaleeona - sorry you didn't get the support you needed for bf. This must have been a difficult time for you xxx

Have had very similar things everytime with my 3. Couldn't really fault things on the labour ward (thou the last time felt she left me a tad too much on me own.....probably thought I knew what I was doing). But the post labour wards were dirty with unclean toilets with blood on the pans and the floor, dirty wards and curtains. Disgusting. Got the impression staff were just not that interested either in a sort of heard it all before way.....maybe post natal care is cinderella of NHS but I always tell new mums now to get the hell out of the wards if they feel like they can cope okay at home. Sure its safer and cleaner......am not a cleany freak by the way. My house has that er, very lived in look.

tearsbb i thought so and i should've done.

When I had my first baby 45 years ago, my husband stayed with me for a couple of hours then went to his mothers so I spent the next 8 hours labouring alone. One midwife asked me if I was feeling sorry for myself and she tweaked my nose in a patronising way. I was young and scared and was denied gas and air as they said it was too late . My baby was born many hours later ! With no family member to watch out for me the midwives said whatever they pleased. When I was desperately trying to push my baby out a midwife shouted at me and said I was kicking the Sister! and I remember apologising ! I was in agony with no gas and air and did not realise my legs just may have been flailing around! They were talking amongst themselves and basically didn't give a damn. I was stoic and didn't use abusive language but still they kept snapping at me. I was so relieved when my gorgeous daughter was born I didn't let my birth experience bother me, but now all these years later it's on my mind every day. What can I do ???

I had one memorable one who told me I should still see the breast feeding counsellor even though I'd had a double mastectomy years earlier.
She said she'd do it "just in case"
Dh asked her what was it in case of, them growing back?
We were in hysterics but it's not funny really.

I don’t know if they can get away with being so hateful now with social media to come back and bite them on the arse. They and the hospital can be named and shamed .

Not during the birth, but a few days after at the home visit a midwife attended who smelled so strongly of smoke that you could still smell it in our living room an hour after she'd left. She had obviously had a fag in the car just before she'd come in. And then cuddled and handled our 6 day old baby.

I saw a midwife at an antenatal gp visit who stank of smoke and had dirt-encrusted fingernails. Utterly grim. She seemed surprised that I wouldn’t let her examine me or take bloods. Never saw her again and later found out that she had gone on sick leave then retired, so at least others were spared her care.

I had very strong pains about an hour after being given propess induction. I was screaming and she said “I hate to tell you dear but you aren’t in labour. So if you think you are in pain now it will get a lot worse”. Then she examined me and I had gone from 1-7 cm in an hour. At one point as I was standing up I had the urge to push. She made me lie down for monitoring and the urge went. I was then left for 2 hours at the ready to push stage before She came back and I ended up with a ventouse delivery (and an episiotomy that I didn’t give permission for). I kind of blame her for my prolapse.