anxiety

[soworried]

anyone got any words of wisdom to share? dh - normally the calmest and most level-headed person I know - is on his second anxiety attack. They are not acute like a panic attack, more a prolonged period - 4-5 days - of really bad anxiety. sleeps badly, no apetite. Last time he went to the docs who gave him a prescription for diazepam (valium). I feel pretty terrified tbh. He is so clearly unwell, but I am not sure what can be done. He can't pinpoint a source of stress. Does anyone know anything about this? Apart from obvious sources of stress are there other causes? any been on diazepam? Is it ok? or will he be worse on it than off it?

don't know if this is your or his bag but i started meditating a few years ago and found amazing results. use to get very stressed at work and found i couldn't take a whole breath and very tight around throat and chest(if that makes sense). i originally did a course on transcendental meditation which got me started - this can be very expensive though. i now go twice a week to a meditation buddhist group and really love it. really wanted to go for years but thought it would be either heavily academic or flakey types. couldn't have been more wrong - builders to doctors are there and have found it very practical and very peaceful. i have 3 boys of 6, 2 and 9 months and it has kept me sane, a bit like 8 hours sleep. its isn't religious, its about applying the teachings of buddha to modern lilfe and then we meditate for 50 mins. it helps you tackle the source of stress and gives you a healthy distance to your feelings and emotions when they would normally overwhelm you - the meditation teaches you to watch them instead and focus on the breath.
after meeting dh and having my children its the best thing i ever did. if i'm happy and calm then so it the rest of the family.
if intersted i can post some links later - have to catch a train
x

thanks Shrub. In a sense it isn;t his bag - but then again neither are anxiety attacks! He's more likely to go for that than counselling of any sort. We also have a (male) friend who's really into meditation (goes away to retreats etc) so I don't think he would outright reject it. He certainly knows that exercise helps generally - not quite the same thing obviously but he does have a hint of the holistic about him.

I doubt he'll be prescribed diazepam for an extended period, because of the risk of dependency - as far as I know it's more of an emergency measure for short term use.

There must be some underlying cause of this anxiety - work stress maybe?

I don;t know spacedonkey - he works in a traditionally stressful profession, however he has always maintained his cool. Except for a period of one year when he did have a horrible stressful job - he was uncommunicative, tired and srtessed in the usual sense - but nothing like this. Then he left it (about 6 months ago)for a less stressed out employer. The immediate impact was great - back to normal dh. Now this. It doesn't make sense. He's not a massively emotional guy, in fact can even come across as detached and almost too rational sometimes. I worry that this is about that - that old cliche about not dealing with stuff. I wish it could be mrore easily pinpointed to a stressful job/deadline family relations iswim. I would find that less worrying

Yes, I can see how it's more worrying when there is no obvious cause

Surely the GP didn't just fob him off with diazepam? How many did he prescribe?

I don;t know how much he prescribed. the doctor did seem to just hand them out easily - by the time had got an appointment he was actually feeling quite a lot better (usual 3 day wait for non-emergencies) but he went anyway and the doc gave him the prescription to use if he felt he needed to - either then or if it happened again (ie now). Doesn't seem quite right does it? Belgianbun - can there be underlying physical causes? what sort of thing?

I've had anxiety attacks like these (and full-blown panic attacks, tension headaches etc) for years, some just a sense of dread and unease, some really terrifying and debilitating.

I find that positive relaxation, visualisation, warm baths, massage, deep breathing exercises, gentle stretching exercises.... I used to feel offended that people thought these things would help, as though they were belittling the scale of my problem - but together these little things really do add up to quite an arsenal against anxiety.

I also recommend making sure that his diet is as plain, predictable and healthy as possible, and that his sleep pattern is as regular as possible - I know insomnia is a swine, but going to bed at a regular time and concentrating on physically relaxing each part of the body in turn, while visualising something that makes him feel safe/relaxed - it sounds naff, and it feels pointless at first, but it started to make a difference to me eventually.

He has my sympathy, it's awful. And you have my sympathy too, it's so difficult wanting to help the person you love and not knowing how to.

Having suffered from this myself, I can highly recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It isn't like traditional counselling which delves into your past, but helps you learn practical techniques to cope with anxiety attacks. I eventually learned not to be frightened by panic attacks and that it was my body telling me that I had built up an excess of adrenaline that I needed to get rid of somehow.

I also found this book very helpful.

diazepam is crap IMO, addictive and doesnt work.

Would also agree with what greensleeves says.

diazepam should not be the answer really.... to addictive. my dr eventually started me on dothiepin which is one of the old school anti depressants and along with a brief spell of counselling it seemed to work brilliantly.i only took them for approx 6 months and then was weaned off them and now only occassionally suffer with panic/anxiety episodes. mine seems to be a seasonal thing and usually becomes a problem around january, would it be worth trying a light box that simulates day light?

thanks enfys - dh wondered if that could be part of it. It seems to have been a particularly grey winter. I'll look in to the light box idea

Hi Soworried
It is not easy to get over anxiety attack.
It take lots of counseling sessions and Prescriped tables from gp.
Be you start feel better.
I only know this because i suffer ANXiety attack s too.
I would suggust you go too your GP and ask if go to anxiety manageing group.
I went too anxiety manageing group at ash grove
And I WENT FOR 12 WEEKS,
Their was 6 people
And we all sat in round cicrle with two councillors.
And spoke about prombles when readly and the we give advice each other and Councillors gave their advice.
And a theotherpy came for week so relaxtion.
And also we watch ON HOW COPY WITH anxiety .
IT is not easy get over it.
But you learn cope with.
As i do.
THIS IS ONLY ADVICE FROM Anxiety suffer.
So i hope i am helpful.

just bumping this as am really worried. anyone else with any experience(changed my name before, being paranoid about dh looking on mn) can't be bothered now.

all I can think of is whether it would be possible for DH to arrange an appointment with a psychologist (private to get it through quickly!) to talk through the anxiety issues, try and get a handle as to what is behind it, or at least how best to deal with the anxiety symptoms.

this is a horrid problem. Someone close to me has also experienced bad anxiety / panic attacks. As Enid said CBT is very effective as a coping mechanism. It is unsettling though that he has no idea of the source of his anxiety and for taht reason it may also be worthwhile getting some more psychotherapeutic counselling to see if there are any stresses and worries that he has burried (people are really good at doing this). Valium on its own is not and answer and may lead to a whole new set of problems. Lots of people do overcome this and CBT is recognised as the most effective means to do so -unfortunatley a lot of doctors see valium as the easy short term solution.

CBT is very well thought of, very mainstream, and easy to get on the NHS, and it's not prolonged like therapy or counselling. I'd think that's the best bet for your dh, along with all the self-care stuff that's been suggested, exercise to offload adrenaline, sleep, eating properly and a medical check to make sure he's not feeling weird because of something like high blood pressure - as long as the med check doesn't in itself make him angsty. Philosophically/politically you could say that anxiety's very common these days because you would be mad not to be anxious. HTH - best of luck.

I started suffering from a similar thing a year ago, a couple of months after a very stressful period. The dr explained it to me like this. When you are stressed, the body reacts by producing adrenalin - normal, natural and helpful. But if this occurs over a long period of time (as perhaps with your Dh's more stressful job) the adrenal glands become overloaded. Then when the stressful period is over, the adrenal glands are still working overtime but with no where to go, as it were. This is what produces the anxiety symptoms. Just this explanation made me feel better! I have been on a low dose of ADs for a year and am just coming off them now.(Not saying your DH needs these necessarily). What has helped the most, I feel, is what previous posters have said - a healthy diet (I find processed food, MSG, alcohol, chocolate, and too much dairy and caffeine are triggers for me) + regular sleep, exercise, relaxation etc. I think the adrenal glands need time to settle back to normal - I still feel slightly anxious at times, but nothing like I used to.

I just re-read your first post, and I'd say the other thing to look out for is depression - if he's actually depressed, the valium won't be right for him, he'll need anti-depressants. 4-5 days of sleeping badly, no appetite, unfocussed anxiety, looks like depression to me FWIW. The GP can go through a checklist of questions to see if it is depression, but may need to be prompted.

thanks everyone. DH is quite open to the CBT option and not keen on the valium. (which is good) He's seeing a different gp in a week#s time with a view to pursuing some other options.(in the meantime he's off ski-ing for a week with a couple of friends. I'm really hoping the fresh air, exercise, and lack of child-related stress will do him good) I'm making an effort to keep an eye on his diet and he's totally off caffeine. I'm sure we'll sort it out. he looks so sad and hollow and quite needy - which he never ever is normally. I'm also worried that it's partly my fault as my choice of crappy low paid career means now that we fork out for childcare my net financial contribution is zero, leaving him with all the money earning burden. am generally feeling a bit useless. self pity over. sorry.

It's normal for partners to feel helpless - my DH said this was the worst thing for him. The very fact you're on here, and the tone of your posts, shows that you are supportive and loving.

Hi SOWORRIED
I think it is not easy to
get other this problem. and mummytosteven as sent right message to you I agree.
That only way cope anxiety better to get help .pyhologist