Support thread for folks with ongoing SEVERE skin issues

[Pepa]

Do you....

• have your mood determined by the state of your skin every morning
• avoiding looking in mirrors/reflective surfaces
• have a bathroom cupboard full of miracle cures that didn't work
• compare your skin to everyone you meet
• find yourself trying to explain to doctors/specialist's how this is actually affecting your entire life and is not "just" cosmetic
• want to commit physical violence everytime someone says.."Have you not tried eating less sugar/drinking less coffee/drinking more water/eating less chocolate etc etc

If any of the above are true - this is the thread for you!!

Background on me - Long time lurker and occasional poster who has struggled with Acne and Facial Dermatitis all my life. Would really like some company as I search for a dark cave to hide in...

Pepa, thankyou. You've made me cry. How can complete strangers be so kind and understanding and my own family so nasty. I'll never understand.

I've had all this stuff bottled up for years and managed to bury it and completely ignore it. But recently I have become more aware that I need to deal with all this trauma but was way too scared to talk about it.

I'm so grateful for this thread. It came at the perfect time for me.

I am going to find a counsellor to talk about all of this. Thankyou so so much for your support and kindness and hugs.

Jasimerice - please remember you are not on your own, we are here whenever you need to chat. Also I think in a strange way in helping you, I am also helping myself. I'm reminding myself what really is important and that is sometimes hard to do when you are completely focussed on hiding your own face from the world.

Your skin is not your fault nor is it under your control.

Their behaviour is fully their fault and completely under their control.

You have a husband and children who love you. They have a daughter/sister who can no longer tolerate them and a bunch of people on the internet who think they're mean, nasty bullies. What does that tell you?

Pepa and PP, thankyou so much. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.

I did realise a few years ago how toxic my family was and cutting contact with them was the best thing I ever did. But they have left me with so much psychological damage to try and fix. And they have no idea. They believe they have been wonderful parents and cannot understand why I have cut contact. It's all so crazy, I'm so glad I managed to escape from their madness.

Keep on fighting

PP, thankyou, hugs are always welcome and much appreciated

I think my location is on my profile. If you're near I'm happy to do rl hugs

Can I just echo the poster who mentioned acne.org, it helped me get rid of my horrid acne and I've never looked back

Ps horrid as in sore and made me self conscious, NOT that I think other people's acne is horrid, I rarely notice it on other people

Thanks for the thread Pepa .
I can't ever remember having 'good' skin and I feel jealous of those that do. They just seem to take it for granted, whereas I am constantly thinking about the state of my face, and comparing it to others.
But actually, beauty is more than skin deep and we should hold our heads high and be proud of the beautiful people we are, and live our lives to the full, instead of keeping our heads down.
I am going to try some of these tips but I'm also going to try to stop my acne bothering me so much - I am 40 years old and it's about time!

I am nearly 40 too! Hormones are cruel!

Forgot to say I have hyperpigmentation on my face too .

Sorry but I need to have a rant. I am soooo FED up at random strangers who make comments about my skin in public. Yesterday I was in my local pharmacy picking up a prescription. The woman on the counter, not the pharmacist, suddenly came over to me with a little bottle in her hand saying I should try this new cream for my eczema. She loudly said I could try it on my hands and with a look of "eerghh" on her face said I could also use it anywhere else I had eczema. She clearly meant my face when she had the "erghh" look on her face and she waved her hand around her face so I know she was talking about my face. She did this with a crowd of people behind me who were waiting for their prescriptions.

I was just taken totally by surprise and said ok I'll try it and left. But I'm so angry at the indiscreet, insensetive way this lay approached me in public about my skin.

This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened. I never know how to deal with it. It's difficult as she was well meaning but very tactless. I'm just fed up of the state of my skin being mentioned when I'm just standing there minding my own business and not thinking about my skin. It's just a horrible reminder that my eczema is very noticeable, when to get through my day I try and delude myself that it's not that bad and people won't notice.

I went to the doctors once, not about my skin, about something else entirely, and yet he still felt the need to make a comment about how bad my skin was.

I am just so fed up with other people's complete lack of tact and sensitivity. I wish I had a response I could use in these situations but I'm always taken by surprise, not expecting it and just go silent. Afterwards I feel angry but then it's too late to say anything.

I'm also so angry at all the nasty comments people have made, deliberately, as opposed to well meaning but tactless. I have never once said anything to any of these people and wish I could turn back time and go back and tell them just how rude and nasty they are.

Grrrr, I am so angry right now, but it's too late to go back and tell some of these nasty people just how nasty they are. I still find it incredible how tactless and thoughtless some people can be. I think I need to be more prepared to encounter such people. I'm always caught off guard and am always too stunned at the rudeness to say anything back.

"Wow, I must have forgotten I had an appointment with you today"

"And how is the Genital Herpes treatment going, Muriel?"

"Do you regularly interrupt people to insult them or is it just my lucky day?"

Practise in front of a mirror with your brightest smile.

"And the contents of your confidential medical file?"

"My mother always taught me it wad rude to make personal comments"

Look them straight in the eye until they loom away. That's when you know you've won and they feel as bad as they tried to make you feel

PP, thankyou. I'll start practising right away. Only I won't look in the mirror whilst doing it! Thanks for the hug. And thankyou so much for offering a rl hug too. The kindness of strangers sure does make up for the rudeness and tactlessness of the nasty strangers I have encountered so often. I will go and look at your profile now.

Work yourself up to the mirror then. The trick is to look at your eyes not your cheeks/nose/forehead/wherever is worst affected.

But then, I'm quite lucky in that mine can be hidden by hair (mostly on the cheeks) and is "only" spots not flakiness or oiliness, plus the worst I hadwad from my Mum and was more on the patronising sympathy end of the scale than the nasty malicious end. So even though I can empathise to some extent I have no true understanding of your situation

Jasminerice - What planet do these people come from where they think it's ok to make comments like that. And I really don't buy the "but I was only trying to help" crap...."No you weren't lady, you just thought you would stick your nose in about something that has nothing to do with you, infront of a shop full of people"

I love PP's suggestions, although I was thinking the Mumsnet chesnut "Did you actually mean to be that rude?" is always a good standby response too.

Pepa, I wish I knew. I've had it everywhere. Even from the lady on the til in the supermarket. I was so angry and upset I nearly went and complained to the manager. Don't know why I didn't.

Trouble with asking them if they meant to be so rude is that I think the question would go right over their heads. These sorts of people just have no idea. I suppose if they did they wouldn't be making those comments in the first place.

I think next time I'm in the pharmacy I'm going to have a word with him about the rude woman. I just hope she's not his wife! Will have to discreetly try and find out.

I am going to not be so naive and trusting any more. I am going to go out expecting people to be tactless and rude. And then I'll be ready with a cutting return comment instead of standing there speechless like I usually am. I need to toughen up a bit.

I couldn't read and not post.

My elder sister suffered from the most severe acne. She is older than me and I witnessed her live almost all of her adolesence until her late twenties with the most crippling despression, completely due to the fact that her acne made it impossible for her to live life normally.
I remember her treating her skin every night, it was painful and red raw. She would go into school and then work with her head down. It went on for years and it was only when it got better in her late 20's that she was able to go out and socialise properly, get a boyfriend. It changed her personality to this day she is shy

When I was 18 my skin started to break out with I can't remember what they are called but little spots under the skin. They covered my face and I slipped into a cocoon at university in my first important year and thought about taking my own life . I didn't go out I would turn the lights to dim and avoid completely anywhere that the lighting was not correct. I couldn't believe this was happening to me and I went to many doctors who were not any help at all.

Thankfully this didn't last long but I am astounded at how skin "problems" can affect a person's life so dramatically and how they are not taken very seriously.

Heyyho thank you so much for posting. At last the penny has dropped for me (thanks in large part to this thread) that I am not the only one who suffers with severe skin issues and I owe it to myself to do everything I can to not let it take over my life. Every day its a new challenge, but at least I'm trying now.

Jasimerice next time you go in the pharmacy, hold your head high and remember you have nothing to be ashamed of, I'm sure you are not the first person that lady has "helped" but hopefully if you say something you might be the last! And don't forget we are all "behind" you!

Ask to be refered to a dermatologist and see if you can get Isotretinoin (Accutane). Highly effective for acne although you cannot use it if you plan on getting pregnant soon after usage.

You can also request Retin-A a good product as well but if your using it make sure to get some suncream as it can make your skin sensitive to the sun.

Advice needed from folks suffering from acne......so my doctor (under protest) has prescribed the pill to try to help my skin. I'm been on Ortho Tri-Cyclen for 6 weeks and I'm seeing no improvement at all. I have a secondary condition that puts me at higher risk of developing blood clots which is why the doctor was reluctant to put me on Yasmin, however she said if there was no improvement in 3 months to go back......do you think I am being impatient if I get an appointment next week. I really don't think I can wait another month-and-a-half if my skin continues to deteriorate; the scarring is getting pretty bad :(

I have an appointment for a dermatologist but that isn?t until the end of April (assuming I can?t get a cancellation)

Yasmin isn't specifically to help acne - it was just marketing when they first brought it out and they're not allowed to claim that it does help now. It can be better than some other pills but there's another that uses the same hormone which is cheaper (?marvelon/mercilon - can't remember which off the top of my head).

The one that does help is called dianette, it has a testosterone blocker in it, but it has a much higher chance of causing blood clots so it might not be the best for you.

Have you tried oral antibiotics? They're the step inbetween topical treatments and dermatologist-only things like roaccutane.

I was on Dianette for most of my twenties but doctor won't give it me now because of the risk of clotting. I'm aready on anti-biotics they don't make any difference.

Has anyone tried salicylic acid peels for acne? I've tried glycolic acid in the past, and although it improved the general texture of my skin it did sod all for the cystic acne. I've since found out that it wouldn't have helped anyway because it doesn't like oil, whereas salicylic acid can apparently penetrate through the oil and help break down all the nasty stuff that's stuck in the pores. I'm thinking about trying it as I have a fair few recurring nodules.

Every month around ovulation they swell up, the skin starts to split and weep, the inflammation goes down, the scab takes a couple of weeks to heal and the scarring just starts to fade. Then like clockwork the exact same spots reappear just before ovulation and the cycle repeats. Because they never form a head and erupt the pore never gets a chance to empty out whatever is causing the infection. So I'm hoping a combination of weekly salicylic acid peels to help empty the pores and help clear away dead skin cells and daily benzoyl peroxide treatment to reduce the acne causing bacteria will help. I'm not expecting miracles but once I've got some I will keep you all updated and keep my fingers crossed for even a slight improvement.