Admitting I have a drink problem

[Bluebelle38]

It has taken a lot for me to admit this to myself, but I have a drink problem and I have to stop.

I drink to prop me up, keep me happy. I drink because I have a shit past and don't see my family. They live on the other side of the world (very dysfunctional upbringing). In saying that, I am happy to be away from them in some ways.

My drinking has not affected my work, but it has ruined relationships in the past.

I am welling up here. I am due to go to a friend's for Christmas and will talk to her about this. I am scared I won't be able to change and will continue to ruin things in my life.

I have great friends and would be viewed as a happy, lovely person, but I know that I am kidding myself thinking I have this under control.

Has anyone here admitted a similar problem to themselves? I feel so alone.

I've just read your post, I don't have any experience. I just didn't want you to feel all alone, I think you admitting it is probably a very positive step with dealing with it. I hope your friend will give you some support.

Thanks for your reply :)

Yes, she will. She is my closest friend. I am sick of feeling this way. it's time for me to cop the hell on.

Thanks again for replying x

I had a problem with drink about 15 years ago, recognised it and moved on. It got to a point where I drove over the limit on one occasion and that made me realise it. Counselling can be helpful to work through your past and try to put the feelings you have into perspective which will could help for you. Sometimes we take the blame subconsciously for things that were out of our control and this leads to guilt, anger, resentment and low self-esteem. See your GP as you may also be suffering from depression. You aren't alone xxx It is possible to change and you can be in control xxxx

I agree that acknowledging you have a problem is the biggest step and the fact that you have good insight into the cause means that you should be able to overcome this

How many units do you have a week or is it more the lack of control when you do drink that worries you?

Thanks guys. Your replies mean so much.

I don't think I am depressed, but I do need to kick this.

I've used drink as a prop for too long and I really want to change and be happy without it.

Thanks xx

I don't know the units, but it would be way over. Few wines with friends after work and sometimes a bottle when I get home. Not every night, but enough to worry me :(

Have to sign off as am about to head to the airport.

Thank you for listening xx

Just remember it doesn't make to a bad person, when I'm being hard on myself I try to concentrate on the good things about me that I like. Very few of us are perfect. Be kind to yourself, it'll help you deal with your drink issues.
Don't feel alone.

Just a little update.

I am 9 days sober today and feel amazing. I had my last drink at lunchtime on New years Eve and have not had a drop since.

I experienced a few nights of very vivid dreams but no other symptoms.

I am not craving it - every time I think of it I remember it is a slippery slope to the life I was living - alcohol comedowns, feeling as if everything was on top of me, my future was bleak.

Thanks to all those that posted on that dark day a few weeks ago. I ended up having a great chat with my best friend and she has been brilliant - as have all my friends. I have been out socialising several times and not been tempted.

I know there is a long way to go, but I am getting there and just wanted to share how happy and positive I feel.

Thanks everyone for being there for me. xxx

Really well done Bluebell, sounds as though you are feeling much more upbeat and together .

NYD DH and I got completely smashed and I could barely move the next day. I decided I was not going to drink during the week and would be "allowed" wine on a Saturday and Sunday. So didn't drink, woke up feeling grand, everything seemed brighter. A lovely plus was that NYD weight was 13 1/2 stone (eek), after a week of not drinking I have lost 1/2 stone! Was astonished. I did have a couple of glasses of wine with Sunday lunch but didn't want anymore.

So, am very pleased to hear you are feeling much better and am very pleased I am too. Long may it last!

Thank you Electric. :)

Well done on the weightloss as well as the cutting back.

i would love to allow myself a few drinks, but that is not an option for me and at the ripe age of 39 I know it is now or never for me.

Two wines and I am ready to paaarrrrttttay - and then I am back in the old cycle again.

I've started reading, cooking better meals, managing my finances. All very simple things but I had no motivation when I was hungover.

Long may it last is right. I owe it to myself to stay away from alcohol. My personality changes when I am on it and I don't like being that sad, lonely needy woman. I am strong and independent and have amazing friends and a great social life and I don't need booze in the equation anymore.

Thanks for your lovely reply :)

B xxx

Bluebelle38 congratulations on the progress so far.

You might want to take a look/drop in on the Brave Babes thread in Relationships - much support for anyone who is addressing their relationship with alcohol.

Oh and the clear headed mornings, energy, clear skin and bright eyes - what's not to enjoy.

Hi I have just read a really interesting article that could be of some help to you. Here is the link www.totalhealth.co.uk/clinical-experts/dr-robert-lefever/specialist%E2%80%99s-letter-someone-recently-diagnosed-alcohol-problems

I have no experience, but wanted to say WELL DONE. Keep going now!

Hi, My husband had a drink problem for years, and thought he was ok, until a mental health worker explained Korsakoff's syndrome to him (she called it "alcohol-induced-Alzheimers). I admire anyone who can give up an addiction (I still smoke), but, when he heard that he was headed that way, after drinking heavily since he was 15, he stopped! It's like living with a (lovely) new man. Good luck!

well done Bluebelle and good luck to you.

Bluebelle, just thought I'd ask, how's it going? Hope you're doing ok.

Nannasylv - Two weeks off it today :) Am delighted. My head is clearer. I feel so much better - happier, positive. Trated myself to some new clothes yesterday.

jraby - I will read that link now.

Thanks all for your kind words. 2 weeks down and I love the new me.

had a dinner party wednesday and my friends were all drinking. I didn't. After they left I emptied the remainder of wine down the sink. It felt sooooo good!

I tidied up and went to bed and woke with a clear head and full recollection of the night before. Was an amazing feeling :)

xx

well done bluebelle you should be very proud of yourself.

Thanks a million, Jax. I am proud but know that this is going to be a struggle for a while.

I just keep thinking once I have a glass of wine it will lead to another and then before I know it I will be back to where I was. I owe myself more than that. I KNOW I am better than that.

Friends have been really supportive and several have said they are cutting back, too.

A new life awaits and I am excited about that :)

Bluebelle - we're the same age (at least for now, have less than two weeks to The Big One) and I gave up drinking 7 months ago after I had made myself seriously ill.

Cutting down is not an option for me either, I massively prefer not drinking, although regret that I won't be able to enjoy a glass of wine with lunch with my parents when they come up for my birthday. But there we are. Speed the day when someone invents a soft drink that tastes as good as wine without the downside, until then I'll live with my choice!

I've been supported by my GP and particularly by my friends - I've been completely open about it and put in place plans for the early days with them because I knew that if I had kicked off and gone 'that's it, I'm going to the pub' after a difficult day at work or whatever, having one of them saying (well meaningly) 'no you can't go' would have been far likelier to send me straight down there than them saying 'well, let's wait 20 mins and see what you feel like then'.

I don't know if you've done any reading, or if you feel you need to, but I found this book very helpful. I've also worked quite hard on recognising my triggers and making sure I can anticipate them as far as possible. In the early days, just walking through the door from work would instantly make a small part of my brain go 'wine o'clock' - habit as much as anything.

Keep up the good work - it is impossible to regret getting sober!

My friend stopped drinking nearly 2 years ago. She went to AA - still goes a few times a week or as and when she feels the need to go.

Her skin looks a million times better, her hair is shinier, she is healthier inside and out and she has lots more energy.

I am not saying not drinking is a magical cure all, but for her she looks fab.

Thanks for posting tribpot and well done.

I totally hear you re wine-oclock. i usually had a at least one glass after work but usually more. I never drank all day every day so my withdrawal was not really bad. Just a few night of odd dreams.

I am so glad you are feeling better and also know that moderating is not an option. I would love to be able to have a glass and stop, but it has never happened and I totally fooled myself that one day that would happen.

Typical burying-head-in-sand behaviour.

I was not able to open the link you posted to the book. Could you tell me what it is? I ordered a book on Amazon called Rationale Recovery and that should arrive any day.

I have also joined a forum that is proving invaluable. It is great to read stories of people that are in the same boat and others that have beat theie addiction for 20+ years. If you would like to know what it is, just PM me. I've met some truly inspirational people on there.

jraby - that is a great article and as expected I ticked almost every box. I cannot believe how in denial I was for long. Actually that is a little white lie, I knew was not a normal drinker, but I wasn't prepared to admit it.

jax - my skin is better as well. i am lucky in that I often am mistaken for early-30s so drinking hasn't had as much damage as it could have.

All the best to your friend, jax, it is like waking up from a bad dream and learning to feel emotions again - not simply be numb and in a booze fuzz.

Thanks all for your lovely messages. I read my first post and it makes me so sad. I don't ever want to be that woman again.

xxx

Bluebelle, the book is called Beat the Booze - hopefully this link might work a bit better.

I knew for years I had a drink problem too, but hoped one day some kind of miracle would occur and I would cut down to a social level. My GP hasn't completely ruled this out (he told me to stop drinking completely for a year) but I think it is very unlikely I could stop at one over a sustained period of time. Why risk it, is my thinking. There are absolutely no benefits to drinking for me, so stopping at zero seems like the safest option.

I'll PM you for the name of the forum, thank you.

I don't think I'd be mistaken for early-30s but someone at work has been telling me how I look younger ever time she sees me - I don't have the heart to say "thanks - basically all I did was abuse alcohol for 20 years and now I've given up - bonzer!" Bless her.