First, well done for asking for help. I think your dh needs some help too - hitting is never an option, and he's clearly at the end of his tether - but that's another story.
I have been in your shoes, but pre-kids...and it is a scary, scary place to be. Personally, I went into rehab and then used the 12-step fellowships such as AA, and the help was instant, unconditional, unjudgemental, and (please hear this bit) un religious. That was 26 years ago 
Many of my friends who either couldn't, or wouldn't, go to rehab just phoned AA straight away. My now-best-friend (25 years sober, but she had young kids when she stopped drinking - after her 8 year old broke down and told her she was terrified of her own mummy sometimes) just did it by going to AA meetings, and then later had some counselling...it really, really can be done and has been done by thousands.
If you want to go down this route, feel free to PM me or ask any questions - or better yet, just pick up the phone and call the AA hotline: no one will pressure you, its not a religion or a cult, its just people with drink problems helping each other to cope in ways that don't involve alcohol. There are other ways, alcohol dependency units, counselling, 'controlled' drinking (apparently works for some), but I don't personally know about them - I'm sure others will post who do!
Again, well done for asking for help - its an illness, and you've taken the first step in getting better from it.