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Original poster

Peter wants to give up.

40 replies

misdee · 08/11/2005 14:03

he has had enough. he wants to come home, but feels like he cant carry on with all this LVAD stuff anymore.

OP posts:
jabberwocky · 08/11/2005 14:04

misdee, I am so sorry. Does the hospital have any counselors who could talk to him?

clary · 08/11/2005 14:05

Oh misdee
nothing helpful to say I'm afraid but you know you have so much support on here

sweetmonkey · 08/11/2005 14:06

is it ok for him to come home? would you be able to cope with him on yr own, or does he need doc attention everyday?

so sorry he feels like this, mut be v hard for you!

spursmum · 08/11/2005 14:07

Simple, tell him that I'll smack him the next time he even thinks like that. That should scare him.
Just posted on your car thread asking about him, How's the rest of life going for you?

NomDePlume · 08/11/2005 14:08

Oh God Misdee. I'm really really sorry. I can understand why he's so fed up, he's been in hospital, wired up for what must feel like an age (to the entire family). I agree that maybe having a chat with a counsellor could help him with his decision. Huge, huge hugs to you all

Original poster
misdee · 08/11/2005 14:08

i'll tell him spursmum, you're taller than him, he may get scared.

no, he cannot come home. looks very unlikely he'll be home at all before transplant.

OP posts:
Lucycat · 08/11/2005 14:08

it must be so hard for you all, and he's going to have especially bad days - the counsellors thought from jabber sounds a good one.

spursmum · 08/11/2005 14:10

And probably heavier than him due to all the weight he has lost. I have my uses.

Original poster
misdee · 08/11/2005 14:11

he has chats with councellors and the preist as well. in fact all the preist and religious people who come in. he is CofE but chats to the catholic preist (correct my termnology if you please) a few times a week, if CofE isnt about.

He has been confined to his room for the last week with another infection, and is just going mad.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 08/11/2005 14:11

Oh, Misdee - it must be so hard for him

Is there a counsellor he can talk to at hospital?

Hugs to Peter x x x x

sweetkitty · 08/11/2005 14:13

Poor Peter and you Misdee, so feel for you cannot imagine what you are both going through.

Hope things improve for you really soon think a wee bit of good news (for a change) is what he needs.

dejags · 08/11/2005 14:13

Misdee - As usual I have nothing constructive to add but just wanted to tell you once again that you and Peter are in my thoughts.

I hope Peter starts to feel emotionally stronger soon.

Love
dejags
x

Original poster
misdee · 08/11/2005 14:17

i know its because i havent been able to get in this week yet (yesterday pre-school, today my car being picked up as it broke down, peters been returned after a pranged it, tomorrow dd2 has pre-school), and he is feeling lonely.

i dont blame him for wanting to give up, he has battled for 4months noe with LVAD, has had numerous infections, a small stroke, has lost some of his sight and is attached to a machine that ticks constantly and makes his whole body shake. and he still has to wait for a transplant for an end to this even to seem possible. and hardly any have been done at harefield over the last 4months months, just 2 that i know of.

OP posts:
HRHQoQ · 08/11/2005 14:17

Sorry to hear this - nothing constructive to add - but you can tell him that if he goes home I'll send DS2 (the stereotypical male 23 month old from hell) down to stay with you - he'll be begging to go back into hospital after an hour with him

LadySherlockofLGJ · 08/11/2005 14:20

You tell the silly bugger from me that I am never off my knees praying for him on a Sunday.He will get over this, I am sure it is entirely normal.

jayzmummy · 08/11/2005 14:24

Missdee you are in my thoughts

I was thinking how difficult it must be for the children not seeing Daddy so much. I saw a programme today where distant Daddys would tape record bedtime stories for their children to listen to and I thought of you. Would that be possible? Would you all be able to tape messages for each other? The children could just tape simple hello's and you could post them to Peter every couple of days, so at least he had something to look forward to. The bedtime stories might help the LO's feel closer to Daddy IYKWIM?????

blueteddy · 08/11/2005 14:25

Message withdrawn

anorak · 08/11/2005 14:28

misdee, it's totally understandable that he feels that way. But tell him he has to keep fighting. If he can't do it for himself he has to do it for you and for the children. You all need him.

People can do all sorts of things for the ones they love that they can't do for themself. I'd go so far as to say that he may not have survived this far without your love.

Tell him there are hundreds of women across the country willing him to keep going. xxx

noddyholder · 08/11/2005 14:28

IOh Misdee these times do occur it is really normal.He probably just can't see an end to it.When i had been on dialysis 18 months I was walking ds then 6 about 10 doors up to the childminder and I had to stop and vomited all over my clothes.Ds was screaming I was crying and i called dp at work and my doctor to say no more and I meant it at the time.BUT we got through it I agree that maybe tapes letters etc will keep him going.He really needs someone to talk to preferably someone who has had a transplant and can show him the light at the end of the tunnel Being surrounded by sick people 24/7 eventuallt wears you down

suedonim · 08/11/2005 16:21

Oh, poor Peter, Misdee. It's hardly surprising he feels this way when other chaps of his age are out there doing whatever they want. Life must seem cr*p at times.

Is there anything we on MN can do to cheer him up? What about Mumsnetters blitzing him with greetings cards? If the Arty-Crafty folks sent in hand-made ones he could even judge which was best!! It would be mandatory for Cod to take part in this, of course.

Lizzylou · 08/11/2005 16:23

Poor Peter, can totally understand why he is feeling so low...really hope you all have some positive news soon

Original poster
misdee · 08/11/2005 16:25

i'm sure some cards wouldnt go amiss, it'll brighten up his room and he can say loads of women are thinking of him lol.

he is just really fed up, thursday he should be back on the list again (currently suspended due to the stroke)and maybe he'll feel better. but this infection has left him feel really hemmed in. he cant walk the corridors or go to the canteen.

OP posts:
Frizbe · 08/11/2005 16:49

{{{big Hugs}}}} to you both misdee, fingers x'd he is on the list from Thursday and gets the op he needs very soon.

PeachyClair · 08/11/2005 17:02

Misdee, I'll pop a link to this on the crafters bit if there isn't already

Let us know where to send the cards please.

moondog · 08/11/2005 17:06

Ah misdee....poor bugger. Can't imagine how he must be feeling.I get down when I'm ill for a day.

Tell him I'm sending a sultry virtual belly dance to him all the way from Turkey.

XXXXX

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