yule and melsy, thanks so much for your concern, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, it's about the only little window of sanity I have right now. I don't have another name on here by the way I just don't get a massive amount of time to post and I also feel so crap that I'm tending to lie down when dd sleeps and in the evenings.
I went back to the GP this morning, it was my usual GP who's more familiar with my history of anxiety / depression, and told her what had happened yesterday. She said there was no point going back to AE because they did a CT head scan on 17 October already so wouldn't likely repeat it unless things had changed massively. I said that they weren't any better and mentioned the ringing in the ears but she said she meant if things had deteriorated in the sense that I was vomiting 3 times a day / seeing double / crippled with head pain etc. To be honest it was such a relief because although the thought that all this is 'my fault' in the sense that I'm creating 'symptoms' by panicking / anxiety it's a lot better than worrying about brain haemorrhages and spending days sitting in AE. I've been 4 times now since this started and couldn't face it again.
I do feel panicky, I realise that. I've also been having a lot of palpitations this last couple of days, not pounding heart but loads of those 'skipped beats' that pound in your chest and neck. The trouble is, it's hard to know what's physiologically caused and what's psychologically caused. Where the boundaries lie.
The ringing in my ears is driving me crazy. Did either of you have that constantly?
Anyway the GP said the only 'treatment' she could give for long term headaches was a low dose anti-depressant of the old tricyclic family. I've had those once before years ago and they knocked me out so I refused them. I thought there were beta-blockers and other things I could try but she was unforthcoming. She told me to cut all pain medications as they could be making me feel worse. But she hasn't offered an alternative so I feel really out on a limb.
How / what did you two do to try to turn this cycle around? Some moments I feel I can't go on with it. Others I get moments of clarity and determination not to let it destroy me.
If either of you could have the time to write down your full story of what happened and how you felt and what things have helped you it would be an enormous help to me.