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charliecat and the fagless angels

403 replies

mummylonglegs · 17/10/2005 22:26

hello everyone. Like the name, leader?

OP posts:
charliebat · 24/10/2005 10:11

For TK..

"Just One Little Puff?"

----------------

It is hard for many people to grasp the concept of how just one little puff can result in full-blown relapse. It just doesn't seem logical to some people. But should you ever find yourself debating the thought of whether or not you could possibly get away with smoking "just" one, think about what advice you would give to a family member or friend who you cared for tremendously, while knowing that they were a recovering heroin or cocaine addict who was for the first time in months or years considering attempting recreational use. Imagine your shock and horror at even the thought of it, especially if you were with them back during the peak of their addiction when it was ruining almost every aspect of life and maybe even putting his or her very life on the line.

Would you say to him or her, "well, maybe you are better now, maybe its worth finding out if you could handle just one?" Would you feel the need to do a little research in current journals to see if maybe ?one? is an option now? Would you maybe even delve into a few neurological journals to see if the scientists now have a better grip on neurotransmitter pathways that could explain why addiction happens? Then maybe you could say, "Well they are starting to understand a little more of how addiction works and maybe soon they can alter your brain physiology. So now, if you relapse it may not be a big deal for a cure is just around the corner--maybe even only a few years away.? It is more likely that you would you cut through the rationalization and say, "If you do it, you are going to be back where you were when you first had to quit. You are going to mess up your life and everyone around you."

The odds are you would go the latter route. You would be horrified and take a firm stand that he or she shouldn't do it -- it would be stupid and even worse, suicidal. Well there is no difference between this scenario and the concept of, ?Maybe I can have just one, now.?

Well there is actually one difference. It is not medically or physically based, but rather societal. Our societies have not been taught about nicotine addiction. People have been taught about addiction and other drugs. Even though nicotine is more addictive than most any other addictive substance, and maybe even the most addictive of all, people still don't grasp how any administration of the substance can cause a relapse, even though they are taught this about most other addictive drugs.

How often has someone asked you after he finds out that you have quit smoking the question, "You mean you haven't even had one?" This is such a ludicrous comment, and yet so common. Or how many times have you seen literature put out by medical organizations advising a recovering addict to not let a slip put them back to using? The message has been clear and consistent with other drugs, the message being don't slip.

Everyone here has been exposed to this discrepancy, not just since he quit, but also for years and decades while he still smoked. You now have to alter a way of thinking that is part of your culture, no matter what culture you are from. The pervasive attitude of the society around you is wrong.

The society may accept the danger of smoking but they do not yet grasp the concept of the addiction. You have to be smarter and more informed than the society around you, maybe even your health care provider. It is asking a lot of an individual to think differently than the society as a whole, but in regards to smoking it has to be done.

The consequence of not becoming fanatical against a puff is too serious to just dismiss. It will be the loss of your quit, and that can easily translate into loss of your health and eventually loss of your life. You have to be vigilant at all times, to keep reminding yourself that you are a recovering addict.

Over time there may be no signs of the addiction; thoughts of cigarettes may have become rare events now and maybe even non-existent. But even at this stage of the game, there is a silent addiction still there that can take you down with full force for making one miscalculation -- thinking that maybe you are different.

You are no different than any other drug addict, whether the drug was alcohol, cocaine, heroin, etc. You are an addict for life, but as long as you get the drug out of your system and never administer it again, you will never be set into the downward spiral that the drug sets into motion to its users. In regards to smoking, that spiral is loss of your freedom, your health and your life, which means you can lose everything.

To keep what you've got, always remember that to stay smoke free you must NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

charliebat · 24/10/2005 10:12

What happens to some people is that when they are off smoking for a certain time period they start fixating on a cigarette. By that I mean they forget all the bad cigarettes they ever smoked, they forget the ones they smoked without ever really thinking about them even at the time they were being smoked, and they start to remember and focus on one good cigarette. It may be one they smoked 20 years earlier but it was a good one and they now want one again.

It's a common tactic for the ex-smokers to try and tell themselves that they do not really want that "good" cigarette. Well, the problem is, at that moment they really do want it. An internal debate erupts, "I want one, no I don't, one sounds great, no it doesn't, oh just one, not just one!" The problem is that if the ex-smoker's focus is on just "one" cigarette then there is no clear-cut winning side to the debate. The ex-smoker needs to change the internal discussion.

Don't say that you don?t want one when you do, rather acknowledge the desire but ask yourself, "Do I want all the other cigarettes that go with it. Then, do I want the package deal that goes with the others? The expense, social stigma, smell, health effects, possible loss of life. Do I want to go back to smoking, full-fledged, until it cripples and kills me?"

Stated like this it normally is not a back and forth debate. The answer will normally be, "No, I don?t want to smoke under these terms," and those are the only terms that a cigarette comes with.

Normally if viewed like this the debate is over almost immediately after being pulled into focus. Again, if the focus is only one, you can drive yourself nuts throughout the entire day. If you focus on the whole package deal, you will walk away from the moment relieved to still be smoke free and sufficiently reinforced to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

charliebat · 24/10/2005 10:12

With this puff I enslave myself
to a lifetime of addiction.
While I can?t promise to always love you,
I do promise to obey every craving and
support my addiction to you
no matter how expensive you become.

I will let no husband or wife,
no family member or friend,
no doctor or any other health professional,
no employer or government policy,
no burns or no stench,
no cough or raspy voice,
no cancer or emphysema,
no heart attack or stroke,
no threat of loss of life or limbs,
come between us.

I will smoke you forever
from this day forth,
for better or worse,
whether richer or poorer,
in sickness and in health,
till death do us part!

?You may now light the cigarette.?

?I now pronounce you a full-fledged smoker.?

Dropinthe · 24/10/2005 10:17

Still around-nothing constructive to say at the mo!

Spooky-where r u?
MLL-Well done for stopping again-got a bit worried back there!
Fiona-renewed snogging??

Well done everyone else who are trying at the mo-keep at it-I'm nearly 8 months now-have started going back to the gym so now have three nights off the wine a week_(new addiction for all who don't know me-same old, for those who do!!)

Fiona-GET OFF THOSE LOZZIES FFS!!!!

(Sorry-used instead of non existent emphasis emoticon!!)

Dropinthe · 24/10/2005 10:19

Bloomin eck! Its the copy and paste queen at her best!!

spookylucy · 24/10/2005 10:40

Im back, you can probably smell me!

Dropinthe · 24/10/2005 10:41

Off work-lots to do but on Mumsnet-I know you so well!

spookylucy · 24/10/2005 10:53

exactly, ive started to read allan again as i had a bit of a wobble, smoking is such a crutch too me, i know its all in my head!

charliebat · 24/10/2005 13:22

Oi stinky spooky I have read AC oh...at least 100 times...eventually you know it word for word, but thats good. It means you can quote it to yourslef in moments of wibbleness. Keep trying , its the only way

fionagib · 24/10/2005 13:34

grit your teeth spookylucy, the worst'll be over in a couple of weeks, then you'll be out of the whole vile thing - that awful craving and lapsing cycle that makes us feel so awful and frustrated. There'll be no slip ups to feel bad about, just that low level craving which is hell, I know, but does subside...

okay, okay, drop - I know!!! I will quit lozzies asap!!! yeah cc, got some minty gum this morning... (oh, and glad your girls are fine & happy at school cc)

enjoy half term you south-of-border folks - here in scotland our kids went back to school today, am missing the wee blighters.

spookylucy · 24/10/2005 14:42

Thanks girls, i need all the support I can get!

fionagib · 25/10/2005 12:46

ps yes, renewed snogging dropinthe!!

Dropinthe · 25/10/2005 21:42

Where is the "heated" fag thread????

mummylonglegs · 25/10/2005 23:22

Heated fag thread, drop?

Evening all.

OP posts:
charliebat · 26/10/2005 16:06

Evening a bit late lol

charliebat · 27/10/2005 20:10

Ok girls im 10,000 not smoked today

charliebat · 27/10/2005 22:39

10006 now

charliebat · 28/10/2005 09:55

where is everyone?

dropinthe · 28/10/2005 10:53

You would have smoked 6 fags in a couple of hours??

charliebat · 28/10/2005 10:54

No i was 10,000 earlier on in the day and i checked back to see what it was before i posted next. Actually, yeah 6 in 3 hours would be about right.

dropinthe · 28/10/2005 10:54

MLL-heated fag thread was about smoking when pregnant!

Didn't get involved!

Hows everyone?

My mumsnet time has been gradually reduced lately as trying to lose weight by staying active-getting out and about,gym,stuff round the house etc etc.
Got to shift this lardy arse into gear and get fit.

dropinthe · 28/10/2005 10:55

I was on 6 a day!

dropinthe · 28/10/2005 10:55

But triple that if out and drinking and probably double that at the weekends!

charliebat · 28/10/2005 10:55

My lardy arse in hindering my movement

dropinthe · 28/10/2005 10:59

CB-do you think I could pickle onions in time for Crimbo?