TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

KK's ideas are v good- and am sure the breast care nurse will be able to advise- getting as much information as possible is always reassuring in the long run- closing your eyes seems sensible-if allowed.
Mum was fine yesterday- had been doing her physio and making progress.
Dad and friend sawed the castors and extra length off their brass bed ( as it is extremely lovely antique bed) and didn't cover up the clothes etc in the room,so am going over to see what state they're in-eek. He said it smelled so vile from the sawing with an angle iron (whatever that is) that he slept in the other room.
Dh is going over to watch the rugby with him later !

Figgy - I found I was always at the hospital for about 3 hours for chemo. But you are right the first one takes a little longer. I imagine it depends partly on what chemo you are having, also how busy the unit is that day.

But as long as you are well stocked with reading matter etc. (or an MP3 player if you want to listen to music) it won't be too bad

I don't know if you've been shown the unit where you will have your treatment? - they are usually very pleasant, nice recliner chairs, pictures on the walls, a tea trolley coming round , and the chemo nurses are lovely friendly people I found.

I imagine that would be quite a strong smell MAS. I'm glad your mum's making progress. Are your Dad's eyes healed up now?

I didn't realise rugby is on. DH supports Scotland (so we have to put up with a lot of grumpiness when he watches )

dad's eyes are perfect- or at least the operated on one ! it's quite magical really- he just has plain glass in that side.
Dh will watch the rugby with him again when Scotland plays as he is half Scottish - dad will support England (no doubt it reminds him of his rugby playing days)

Glad things are moving on for your Mum and Dad, MAS. Even if the bed is a little mangled, it's a step in the right direction.

RWU -

Figgy - good luck for Monday. it may take a bit of a while, but the unit is usually nice, and the people lovely. I am thinking of you, but not worrying for you, because it really will be OK. Take snacks and entertainments, as KK said.

LGF - I have had an MRI, only on one part of my body so it only took 10 minutes. If it is the full body scan it could take more like an hour. If you are claustrophobic (as I am), it is a bit tough. It is perfectly comfortable, but I could feel a totally needless panic rising and I had to work quite hard at staying still and calm. I would recommend taking something like Rescue Remedy before hand, and closing the eyes definitely helps. If you have done any yoga or relaxation classes, try to focus on the breathing exercise you will have been taught there. The experience itself is fine, it is just the claustrophobia that complicates things a bit. If you want to know anything specific let me know and I'll try to help.

G'ah, am having internet traumas. So this is just quickly to say good luck to Figgy for Monday. Will be thinking of you and wishing you a friendly, efficient nurse who gets it all done and dusted quickly. I second the need for snacks. We used to play cards too -I could never seem to focus enough to read, so it passed the time. Though if you're having FEC the Nurse has to sit and push it in manually. Quite reassuring really to have them there and it goes quicker than you think.

LGF, I've had MRI's, though mine were for a back problem. Main thing to be aware of is how noisy it is, as I wasn't at all prepared for that. Lots of clunking - sort of rhythmic, like bad rap music or something. Actually made me giggle the first time I had one, though that could have been hysteria.. I found it helped to count in my head, but Cakes's idea of breathing is a good one. Bet you'll get through it okay.

No time to write more, but I'm totally in for a Toast and Seamus Heaney, but only if you've some spare. Have been meaning to buy both.

MAS, am skimming, but it's great to hear about your Dad's eyes.

Happy weekend to all.

Hiya and thanks for the advice. the letter says MRI - breasts, so I'm assuming that means not a full body scan and may only take 10 mins :)

I have rescue remedy somewhere and will dig it out plus try and remember my breathing techniques from yoga last done 10 years ago.

I was more worried that they would do a full scan and say I also have sclerosis of the liver due to the large amount of wine I have been drinking in the past few weeks

I had an MRI a few years ago - they just did my head to see if I had a problem with my ears but my whole body was in the machine and it only took about 15/20 minutes. It was noisy which I hadn't expected and I coped by closing my eyes, breathing deeply and thinking calming thoughts. It went quite quickly and luckily my ears were okay.

You've reminded me that I really ought to find out the difference between an MRI scan and a CT scan (which is what I had a couple of weeks ago).

Nice to see you're a fellow wine drinker - the odd glass (half a bottle) has certainly helped me these past few weeks too.

I know that CT scans is an x ray machine that takes images of slices of your body while a MRI is a big magent basically. In medical terms, I don't know what the differnce is!

I had a CT scan on Monday and was completely oblivious to what it entailed until a woman who was waiting (and had obviously had it done a few times) decided to 'reassure' me that it was ok. She completely freaked me out and I think ignorance would have been better :) Then, the lady before me decided to go for a walk, and no one could find her which didn't help! It was, however, not that bad as you are not enclosed but still....

Wine has certainly been my saviour. I guess once chemo starts it will be out of the question? Might as well make the most of it now :) Now, is 6pm to early for a glass of Pinot Grigio

Hi everyone,

First, Figgy, I'm pleased you're getting started on MOnday. Can I suggest you drink a really big lot of water before you actually go in, and keep drinking. It helps it all flush through the system IME and really seems to help. The stuff does its work just th same apparantly. Good luck.

And BTW I have a friend who is a TA in a primary school. She already had secondaries when diagnosed, and is a big role model - she kept working throughout. She did get very tired by the end, and she didn't have any op. but I thought you'd like to know that working was OK for her. She says she told the class quite a lot about it, including the pink wee . She wores scarves etc and is doing very well.

LGF - I think the work issue depends on your work and your own state of health. I was in a job which is pretty stressful (managing large volumes of cuts and redundancies etc) and I decided not to work. I was very fortunate to be able to make this decision and I know it was the right one for me, as the stress of trying to keep on top of work AND deal with the treatment would have been too much for me. (I might have coped but I'd have been blardy miserable and I feel could not have managed as well as I did. And when I was having an op mid-chemo and then rads at same time as chemo I'd have been inbits TBH if working.)

RWU - all this talk of flooring is fun! Glad you've got one chosen. I was delighted in Cambridge today as my DH and I have been a little tense re decor recently! I was just walking past a little shop, decided to pop in the woman was so helpful and we chose the paper and paint for 2 rooms. I liaised with DH over the phone! Much better system. I don't often go to Cambridge but as it happens I'll be there nex w/e as well so can collect the goodies! (William Morris paper and suitable paint colours. I'm not good at subtle shades etc so her help was great and DH quite happy)

All - hope all is well. MAS - I missed where you'd been? I've just had fun in Cambridge as took DS down for a Challenge Day - saw my DD woo and in the 2 evenings she took DS out to the pub to meet loads of brainy types doing sciences at Cambridge - DS loved it. I also went to 4 hours on lectures with DD!! 2 hours of linguistics and 2 hours history of maths by very entertaining guy. It was really good.

Love to all. Have to go and watch Jonnie Wilkinson...

hi all, MRI scans are very noisy- be prepared! ours used to be a mobile unit in a portacabin type thing that turned up every few months, but we've got a permenant one now (maybe it was the ammount of scans i was having- they decided it was best to have it in situ ) other than the noise its fine, but be aware that it a kind of grumbling pulsy noise along with a whiring machinery type of din. we get headphones and music played and then they can talk through the headphones and ask you to breath/stay still/ etc etc.

sounds as though you've had a very good time in Cambridge SR - and well done for choosing the decor ! We were meant to have a trip to The Vyne nr Basingstoke, but it was closed - so visited mum instead and had a nice walk around Hinton Ampner which is near us-well between us and towards Winchester...today..
Meditation day tomorrow -another silent one I think- I will probably go,if I feel up to it.

LittleGreenFrog - well I think they say moderate drinking is OK during chemo. Some people go right off it. I was the opposite and I doubt if my intake was moderate, really. Do what you feel like doing, and don't feel guilty about it either. Whatever gets you through the night and all that.

And I second what SR said. Drink lots of water, before and after. Ginger and pineapple are your friends, as well as any other kind of fruit (you can get a bit constipated). One other big tip, They gave me a leafet that suggested making up a big jug of salt water mouth wash (about a tablespoon of salt to a pint of water), and swooshing it around your mouth four or five times a day in the week after each treatment. It was meant to help with sore mouth symptoms. I did this religiously and I did not have any problems with my mouth. So it's worth considering.

SR - your visit to Cambridge sounds lovely - and MAS, a silent meditation day sounds like a godsend. Wish I could come.

Last night I got into the pub for our regular Friday night meet-up with friends. DH was going to join us later, as he was about 15 miles away at a meeting. Imagine my joy when, with my fist drink actually in my hand, and one sip taken, I got a phone call from DH. Car keys lost, could I find the spare set and drive over to get him. Imagine my greater joy when I got to him, only to find he had just had a call from the person who had inadvertently pocketed them. The was on him all night, I can tell you.

hah ha !! cakes...and yes,it'd be lovely to have your silent company tomorrow ! (am sure I'd love your non-silent company too !)

I went right off alcohol - almost from diagnosis! I also hugely reduced my tea/coffee intake as I found I slept better.

Seem to recall I drank fair amount at the Xmas/NY just 3 weeks after diagnosis but then hardly drank at all, on an instinct that my body had enough chemicals to deal with really. Oh yes, and after I had one tiny sherry about 5 days after an aneasthetic and felt as though the room was whirling round and my heart rate raced terribly. I had an infection and didn't know but it was a bit scary and put me off even sherry

But yes, just do what you personally feel is right and helps you.

Cakes seems to need a fair bit of alcoholic help - only joking

Good luck meditating MAS. You are a role model too. (Well everyone on here is, in different ways). Yes I enjoyed Cambridge a lot - am a bit tired now but it was good. Am going a week on MOnday as DD is playing in a concert and I've never been to hear her play in Cambridge . So this is my last chance as she will finish in June.

when I was diagnosed we bought a half bottle of whisky - we thought we might need it- am pleased to say we still have some left.

Am hoping we might do some Loving Kindness meditation today- I will send it's good vibes to you all- especially figgyroll & LGF

Hope everyone is OK, esp FR and LGF.

Have spent almost all day catching up with washing - where does it all come from?!

But our visit to Cambridge has really fired up my DS, so it was all worthwhile.

Haven't had time or energy to do my normal Sunday exercise (swim and walk) so will have to hope the fact I walked my feet (and hips) off in Cambridge will be enough for the time being.

KK - hope you're feeling better? Do you get sore hips as well as legs? Seems to be all part of this stiffness thing. However I am still losing weight which can only help. The Slimming World regime does seem to wrok and also suit me, which is nice. I still have the family wedding on 16 April too, to spur me on. I hope to be able to tell you all soon that I've lost a stome - but I haven't yet so just store up your congratulations for a future date.

BTW my DD is thinking of doing an MA in the netherlands - did I mention this? Really not sure how this will be funded .....
And DH is having to accept a cut back of his hours (and therefore pay) due to insufficient business coming in....

However good news is that I spoke to my friends near Christchurch this am. They're all v. shaken (as you might remember they were badly affected by the SEptember quake) but less affacted themsleves than last time. House a bit more damaged but no injuriesd, thank goodness.

It sounds as if you had a lovely time in Cambridge SR - and great that your DS found it inspiring Am I right in thinking your DD does languages? - it will be a wonderful opportunity for her to study in the Netherlands - but as you say it always comes down to funding doesn't it?

I'm really pleased for you that the SW system suits you so well, that is great and I do admire your will power and determination, (although as I said before I think you look pretty trim already)

I have lost a few pounds in the last week, but this was entirely due to my sickness bug, so required no effort by me - I don't think I can really claim it as a dietary success

I'm feeling a lot better thank you. I have had some hip pain in the past, but at the moment I am feeling generally stiff all over (its not terribly painful, just stiff if you know what I mean). I'm having some blood tests on tuesday to try to get to the bottom of the dizziness I've been having.

What a relief that your friends are safe - what a dreadful time the poor people in Christchurch are having

I spent a lovely morning out in the sunshine weeding and tidying the garden. My seeds have arrived - I'm all set to start planting. I've got a lot more vegetables this year, the few I grew last year were so nice, I thought I'd branch out

I hope the meditation day has gone peacefully MAS and you feel relaxed and refreshed

I hope everyone else has had a nice weekend. Lots of love to our ladies starting their treatment next week

Hi KK,

What veg are you growing? It hasn't been a great day here but I am beginning to feel like venturing into the garden! Its nice that it looks slightly better than usual for end of Feb, thanks to the guys who cut the hedges and pruned trees last year. (All these benefits to having BC!)

Well its nice that you're feeling better and the weight loss is a little bonus! I've just been poring over those charts about ideal weights etc and although you are very kind with your comments, the fact is that I am still in the obese zone. But I'm nearly down into the overweight zone so I'm not down-hearted Just ate some delicious sea bass actually - yum.

Yes I do completely know what you mean about stiff hips - mine don't actually hurt either. Sometimes I think that if I finish 5 years of Arimidex and come off it, I'll be able to jump around like a 20 year old with the stiffness gone

Good luck with blood tests.

yes DD studies German and linguistics this year. (She's done 2 years of Frnech, one of Portuguese and a bit of Turkish and Swedish too!) German is her main language so Dutch would be v. easy for her. Just had a look at the Dutch uni web-site and there is actually a 12 month MA so I've e-mailed her and suggested that might be a better option than the 24 month version.

thank goodness your friends in Christchurch are safe and lovely to know that Cambridge has fired up ds !
Am very tired after all that meditating ! it was a good day-we practised in the Zen tradition -so much bowing -we also did some singing which was nice- it helps with Mindfulness- and Mindful exercises outside on the grass -it was chilly though. Silent lunch again but found it less embarrassing and actually really nice to take one's time and think about what you are eating- I usually hoover everything up pretty quickly ! We had quite an emotional dharma sharing (sharing basically !) and I managed to speak in response to something someone else had said,so felt pleased I was able to do that. Am still really achy but hopefully calmer inside.

SR - I have radish, carrots, courgettes, aubergines, spinach, squash, peppers, parsnips and sweetcorn. And I've also got 'celtuce' - which is supposedly a cross between lettuce and celery, and collard greens - just for something a bit different

Your DD sounds very bright, - does she have plans for what she will do once she has finished her degree and her post grad. work?

MAS that sounds a lovely day, very calming- but I imagine quite tiring too

Ah thanks ladies for your thoughts. I had a quiet day. I didn't sleep well last night. I had the ususal few hours sleep and then woke up, drifting in and out of sleep until the morning. There were a few horrible dreams/nightmares thrown in too :(

My thoughts are with Figgy for tomorrow. I hope all goes well.

Wow, hope you've got enough space KK!
Not sure at all what DD will eventually do. possibilities are translation (but its not well paid) speech therapy (not sure of pay rates but could be v satisfying), teaching (ditto!). She's a quirky, creative, individual person - I'm really not sure what she'd enjoy TBH. She's always loved music and languages and is like her dad - who still hasn't quite found his niche TBH. I understand my DS more easily.

MAS - glad you enjoyed the day. My DH is a Quaker and although he's an extreme extrovert, enjoys their silence.

I hope you get a better night's sleep tonight LGF - tell your hospital team if you continue to have sleep problems, they can advise/help you (again very natural considering what you are going through)- maybe a nice bath and an early night with a good book

SR - I am slowly drip feeding to DH my plans to convert a long border down one side of the garden into an extra veggie patch.