Post Natal Depression/Panic Attacks

[Giz]

I'm new to this and also feeling low so bear with me......My son (my 1st baby) was born in feb 2000. I felt alright to begin with but then in the May I started getting really weepy and always felt tired, I didn't want to go out of the house, kept putting off visitors and just couldn't stop crying then in the June I was out at the local shops buying urgently needed baby supplies. I'd left my purse in the car and had to leave my shopping at the checkout whilst i went to get the purse. I returned back and a small queue had built up so I apologised to the people waiting and the the woman was very nasty in her reply to my apology.......I just lost it - uncontrollable sobbing, wailing like a mad woman. The staff at the shop were brilliant, they moved the people to another till and carried my shopping to the car. The checkout lady took the time to talk to me and gave me hug, she asked how old my baby was etc etc and she gave me look of complete and geninue support. It was then i realised things were not right so I went to my doctor.....She was wonderful and wanted to put me on anti-depressants but i was really worried about becoming dependant on them, she explined all the possibilites to me and I started on a form of anti-depressant. She said I'd need to be on them for a minimum of 6 months and then she'd reduce the dosage slowly as it's not good to just stop taking them one day. I did start to pick up I didn't get to what i considered my 'normal self' but i was not as bad as i had been. I could cope with going out more little by little. Then we had all the stress of moving. We moved and my old doctor who was lovely wrote a letter to my new doctor explaing what i was going through and at what stage we were at. I went to my new doctors as my prescription needed re-newing (i was only given a monthly supply). This was in the Sept so I'd been on the A/D for 2 & half months. The New doctor was horrid, she just read the letter, wrote out a months prescription and said "your baby is almost 8 months old you really shouldn't be on these now, only you can make yourself better". I tried to explain that although my son was almost 8 months i had not actually been on the tablets that long, but she just handed the prescription and said "yes well you'll have to do it on your own sometime" I got outside and just cried and cried. I was in a new town, no friends I could talk to, a doctor who didn't listen or seem to care - I just went home as fast as I could. Needless to say I didn't go back to the doctor again. I never re-newed my prescription and so stopped the A/D suddenly at the end of Oct 2000. I did go through a really bad time, i wouldn't go out at all, I didn't even get washed or dressed. But my son was always clean, dressed and idolised, all my time is focused on him. My husband kept saying "you've got to get out more I can't do all the shopping as well and the baby needs to get out and get fresh air, and xmas is coming need to get things for that" I didn't do any xmas shopping or anything my husband did it all. Then he said about taking our son to see santa in a grotto, his 1st xmas etc. I knew I had to do it and be there for my baby so we went out, all together....from then on I've got better ( I'm back to washing & dressing and going out with my son regularly) however I still cry a hell of alot, don't like large crowds of people activitites (for example I take my son swimming lessons as only 3 others in his class). But I'm getting weary and can't get past this last bit, can't stop crying over silly little things. My son is almost 15 months old. My husband is talking about a second child.......I don't know if I'm over this depression from the 1st one yet. In all others ways i feel ok to deal with another baby but then if i get PND again will it hit harder if i'm not over this bit. I feel so alone, I felt so positive i would get through this when i was with my old doctor but now i feel like i'm fighting a battle i just can't win!!

IS THERE ANY TIME LIMIT ON HOW LONG PND CAN LAST?

HAS ANYONE ELSE GOT IT MONTHS AFTER THE BIRTH INSTEAD OF IMMEDIATELY?

ANY IDEAS OF HOW TO GET PAST THIS LAST HURDLE?

I agree, Rhubard, distraction is the key. I got up and walked out of a restaurant in the middle of a meal once. I also found walking miles, fast, seemed to disperse the panic attack.

When I originally had the panic attacks(after the birth of my twins) I tried lots of distraction techniques. Thye helped a bit - although I did still need to take medication in the end. I'm going to make a list tonight of things (trying the crossword etc.) so that if one starts I don't even need to think of things to do - I can just look at the list.
Thanks for replying!

Hi Kizzie - I came off Seroxat just before Christmas, I'd been on it for 9 months after the birth of my daughter, but have been on it a couple of times before. I tried to plan to come off to link in with dh being around and also at a time when there would be loads going on so that I had things to occupy me. Are you coming off gradually? I think I did half a tablet a day for a fortnight and then half a tablet every other day and then maybe even a third of a tablet for a whille...although this becomes crumbly !! I was constantly worried I would do "it" "wrong" with my daughter, but had no idea what "it" was and how I could possible do it "wrong". I also had a horrible feeling that was like a vibrating metal coathanger between my teeth and the sensation of walking forward on a train going backwards! Does any of this sound familiar?
DO make a list of distractions when you are not feeling down. I found that unless I had somebody to tell me what to do, or something written down that I knew I liked doing, when I was depressed I couldn't think of anything on my own. Have a look at this webpage www.depressionalliance.org/Contents/fselfcare.htm#daytoday
Its the Depression Alliance and there is a big list if you scroll down of things to do to get through depression on a day to day basis - just stuff like read a book, have a bubble bath...obvious things that you just can't think of when they are needed.
I hope this helps and you WILL get through it.

Thanks for the message Judd - glad you've managed to come off it. I'm just trying to take each day at a time at the moment and get back to normal (as I was a few weeks ago.) I'll then try again to come off.

I too had difficulties when trying to come off Seroxat - five years ago now, but the memories are still pretty vivid. I tried once and failed - I had tried to reduce my dose over about a fortnight, timed to coincide with a holiday abroad. But of course I hadn't thought about how stressful a holiday with partner and two small kids can be... I spent most of the fortnight bursting into tears and had a couple of panic attacks. The second time, I reduced very very gradually, as Judd describes - I can't remember what dose I was on, but I reduced in very tiny steps (at one stage taking a nibble of a tablet instead of having a half)and leaving several days before each further reduction. If I started to feel more weird than I could handle, I would stay on the same dose for a further week or so before reducing again. It took about a month overall. Good look Kizzie, and take good care of yourself.

Or 'good luck' even!

Had a really bad day today. Very very down this morning, couldn't even bring myself to get up off the chair, in tears for hours. Managed to get appointment with doctor. Have decided to go back to 20mgs to try and stabilise for a few weeks. can't believe this has happened again - but I know Ive got to be well enough to look after my little boys. I'll just have to worry about getting off them later. My poor husband - he just doesn't recognise me when I'm like this. I have a fairly pressurised job which I love and I'm normally so full of energy and up for anything. I adore my boys but on days like this I just can't do anything. Although I hate taking them I hope the tablets kick in soon and I can try and feel a bit better.

kizzie, sounds like a rubbish day. hope you are feeling better soon.

Kizzie, ask Tech to give you my e-mail address, we have alot in common

Chiccadum - Because of tech problems I don't have a personal email address at moment - use work one but it's checked and we aren't allowed to use for personal emails. It was v kind of you to offer to give me yours though. It's so reasurring to know that I'm not the only one who's been in this position. xxx

Has anyone taken Fluoxetine. I have been given them from my doctor, i am very anxious about taken them, but feel i need them.

What is the brand name? It sounds familiar.

the name on the box is PROZAC FLUOXETINE please let me know if you have taken it before

Tappy I think that it's mainly known as Prozac, I do know that some ladies on here do use it but personally I have never fancied it as I have heard both good and bad things, I'm on lustral at the minute which at the moment isn't too bad. I hope this helps a bit.

If you feel that you need them then start taking them but I don't know how long Prozac takes before it starts working, some take days and others weeks, the fasting acting one I've heard of is Cipralex.

Tappy - I believe that Prozac is prescribed first, as it is the cheapest drug, so therefore is less of a 'burden' on your surgery's budget! You need to give it 4 weeks before you notice a difference, and you may feel weird for those 4 weeks. I did not get on with it at all, as it gave me panic attacks. However, I do know people who found it a great help. I am on Cipralex, which has been brilliant. I have tried various types on anti-depressants in the past, none of which helped me. I think that the sooner you catch the depression, the quicker the pills work, as there is less to fight IYKWIM. Obviously that is only my opinion, not a fact!

Once you have given the Prozac a fair trial, if it is not working, get your prescription changed. There are a lot of ADs on the market, it is just a matter of finding the right one. Good luck.

chinchilla you say it gave you panic attacks, were you having them before you took them.iam getting panic attacks thats one of the reasons i was going to take them

No, I definitely was not getting panic attacks before taking the pills. I ended having to take Beta-blockers as well as ADs, to allow me to walk to town in my lunch-hour! Cipralex (the ones I am taking) are also prescribed for people solely suffering from panic attacks (not depression), so maybe these would suit you more? Obviously I am not a doctor, so the best thing is to talk to your gp if you are at all worried.

did you get cipralex for depression or panic attacks as im suffering from both and did they have any side affects

Anyone else tried homeopathy? Just coming on this thread to say that I have suffered on and off with depression and anxiety for several years, including PND. Seeing a counsellor recommended by my GP really helped, but took 18 months, during which time I learned how to undo 'scrambled' thinking, and how to recognise tiredness as a trigger for distorted thinking. But I also saw a homeopath, which really, really helped. I know you have to pay to see one, but it's worth trying as an alternative to medication. I still see her once every 6-8 weeks, and she keeps me sane - no kidding!

Very interested in this gill.
What does the homoeopath give you, or is it counselling?

Prozac didn't suit me, it made me feel as if my head was imploding and made me paranoid. But it does suit some.

Hi Droile - no, homeopathy isn't counselling, its a form of medecine about 200 years old, based on giving your body minute doses of whatever upsets it to put it back into balance. For example, I take sepia for hormone imbalance, sulphur for spots, belladonna for fever etc. There can be no side effects as the doses are so small conventional science says they can't exist! However, homeopathy is based on the idea that the smaller the dose, the bigger the effect on the body. It works on animals, and they don't know anything about it.

I am very lucky to have a GP who is also a practising homeopath (in France all pharmacists are homeopathically trained) but you may have to look around depending on where you live. If you consult one, he or she will talk to you about a wide range of things, as they treat the body, not the symptom. Hope it helps.

Tappy - I got Cipralex for depression, but I know that it made me feel a lot calmer in myself too. I was getting a bit paranoid about going out on my own. Not panic attacks per se, but just a bit worried about things. That is partly how I knew that I was getting depressed again, as I knew that I was not being my 'normal' self. I noticed within a week that I was a lot more relaxed. I think that it is a great AD, but of course everyone reacts differently to all drugs. Prozac may suit you, as I said.

chinchilla thanks for getting back to me.still not sure what to do think i will have a word with my doctor. i hate taking any kind of medication and am very wary of ads as you hear so much about them

My baby is 19 weeks old and very very challenging. She doesn't like much, not feeding, not visitors, not nursery, not bathing, not the pushchair, not the car, not getting changed.....not me!
Why isn't she happy, I do all the right things with her, sing, smile, go out, where ami going wrong?
Is it any wonder I feel down and what can I do about it, surely my mood will improve when and if she becomes a more pleasant baby?

No, I think she will seem a more pleasant baby if you can change your mood. I strongly suspect you have PND. Thinking your baby doesn't like you is a huge symptom. You need to talk to your Gp about this. It can be sorted.