**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

hello BB and happy new year. It'\s difficult, but I have to go along with what Cakes has said - perhaps get an idea of risks involved first,because you might be over estimating them -as she says,lots depends on your general health,weight,blood pressure etc- and the advantages of having a recon. which would be psychologically a very good thing I'm sure. Lots of luck with making the decision.

Thanks Cakes and MAS. The fact that you seem to be saying that if the risks are small then the advantages of recon may outweigh them helps. I'm pretty sure that, psychologically, recon would benefit me. I'm a healthy weight and, cancer aside, have no health problems, so I guess that lowers the risk factor.

'How dangerous is it?' is pretty high on my list of questions.

I'll let you know how the chat with the surgeon goes.

Thanks.

BB, I worry like that too, but then as a friend recently reminded me, everything has a risk, even crossing the road! I'd say if your health is good, then the risks will probably be low and psychologically it sounds like a good thing to do. Ask lots!

Pennies don't apologise, honestly your post was ever so helpful. I had immediate reconstruction mostly because the surgeon thought it might help with Rads - the implant stretches the skin or something. I'm glad I did in some ways as it gave me some shape over the summer and also let me know what an implant feels like. First question for me will be over odds on recurrence, then I'll decide from there. I think I'm similar to you in terms of not really being too fussed about my breasts. Main thing is to not let cancer get a foothold again. Though having said that I'm a bit breast obsessed too - I can't help looking at women's cleavages and worrying if they've got any cancer lurking there..

I know lots of women who are happy with theirs, but fwiw, I don't like my implant at all. To be fair it is a bit of an odd one as it flipped inside, so is upside down, which basically means it sits far too high, and is not even close to matching my remaining breast. It's also incredibly hard and tight. I think they tried to match my D cup and put too big an implant in for the skin that was left to cope with. Hard to explain, but it feels like a tennis ball is sitting under my skin and has about as much give, so very far from natural.

All of which means that I will ask lots of questions before agreeing to another reconstruction. If they can't convince me that they can do something more natural, I will probably just go with having current implant removed and maybe mastectomy of remaining breast too. A woman I met at the Breast clinic gave me a good tip - she said before agreeing to any op, ask the surgeon if you can speak to other women they've operated on, as that's a far more reliable way of finding out possible outcomes. Makes sense to me.

Got to go, but Sparkle, good luck with Dr later.

Hi BB - and happy new year to you too
I'm just popping on quickly to link to keeping Abreast KA is a group local to me [Norfolk] for women contemplating reconstruction. There's info. on the website (look under resources - links to other sites) also views from women who've had recon. and info about the operation. So it may be worth a scout round the site.

To be honest I know people who have been thrilled with their recons. and others who found the surgery pretty tough, so its presumably quite individual. I don't think you should think in terms of being selfish - you being happy and confident in your self will benefit your little girl as well

Hello to everyone, DS's birthday today so he's popped over for the day, we're going to have a party at his Dp's house tomorrow.

Happy birthday to ds - and hopes for a fab party. Don't drink too much

Happy Bday KK's ds !!

I was right- prescribing Wockhardt tamoxifen by name will cost my surgery more,so have agreed to take my chances and see what the chemist has in stock each time..am not too bothered really,am sure my loyalty to W brand is purely psychological !

Horrid and wet here

Actually quite bright (but very cold) here!

As suspected, then, on the Wockhardt front. I have had some other stuff recently and i think I may have had fewer flushes etc on it, so you may well find it OK. Hope so, anyway.

Work very drudgey here. Am very glad to have it of course, but it's proving a bit of a slog.

On a more positive note, I dragged myself to aqua aerobics last night and feel better (or more virtuous anyway) because of it. Didn't risk Pilates though, thought it might be unwise on my recent surgery.

Positives -
1.wii fit gave me an age of 25 today! On the other hand it also told me I had put on 11 lbs, when I have actually lost 1 lb, so it clearly can not be trusted and is a fickle load of !

1. It is bright and clear here and the birds are singing, albeit about how they can't find any food!

Negatives -

1. DLA Dr knew nothing, and left me feeling like a sponger on society, like I have Munschausen by proxy (sp?), and like I should have done more to adapt family home to meet ds's needs, so all round good feeling then. He was pleasant enough chap, let him examine ds, but ds was hysterical and non-cooperative. He got nothing from the visit which was not expressed more eloquently in the application form, which he clearly hadn't been given. Ah well, suppose it was too much to expect more, can't even find a doctor who can help ds.

Back to positives, wii fit age of 25!

Oh dear, sorry sparkles.

That sounds really crap. I will be more eloquent and considered later - off to school to get dd.

Hugs.
And good for you on the 25 thing!

Sparkle your wii fit age is younger than my son's actual age - now that does make me feel old

Sorry the Doctor was hopeless and upset DS, do you think it will cause problems with the dla? You would think they would just ask your DS's hospital consultants to explain the situation and your Ds's needs. Ridiculous how people have to fight for things they are entitled to, and demoralising Hope it gets sorted out soon.

Well done on aqua aerobics Cakes - still no exercise allowed for me, but I'm going to try out my new walking boots tomorrow if it's fine.

No party tonight - DS's Dp has tonsillitis, and is feeling very poorly, so we have postponed.

Hope every one else is fine today, are all the children back to school now?

for Sparkles. So much stress for nowt. What happens next/ Do they send someone else? Big cheer for the wii age though. That would have made me smile too.

Sorry no party tonight, Kurri but hooray for you for raising a boy past 25 and even more for the fact that he still wants you to go to his parties. That to me proves a job well done. Thanks for the link to the Norfolk women. I haven't had time to look through yet, but will definitely see what they all have to say.

MAS, that's interesting about the Wockhardt. I didn't realise it cost more. How strange. I got my first supply from hospital and that was Wockhardt. Since then it's been a mix of other brands. Any news from your niece, or is it all quiet and still grumpy?

Cakes, huge clapping from me on the aqua aerobics. It' all I can do to get up and function in the mornings. Work's a bit of a slog here too...

am sorry that the doctor's visit wasn't good sparkle- and poor ds too -as KK says, it's very demoralising.
Yay though for Wii fit age !
Sorry to hear that party is postponed KK - hope she feels better soon.
It's my driver awareness course tomorrow - eeee

Kurri - I suspect that it will be the end of the application. They do have the details of all of ds's consultants, but to be honest they are a but rubbish too. His physio is excellent though and understands him and his needs, so may if they asked her for input all is not lost.

Don't let my wii fit age make you feel old, my father in law regularly gets one in the 30's and he is 75 soon! It is all a load of rubbish but you get your kicks where you can Sorry the party is postponed, hope she feels better soon, that was me last week and I am glad I am over it.

MAS Good luck tomorrow, do you have to unlearn all the bad habits you have picked up, or is it just theory?

Cakes - I am impressed with your dedication to aqua aerobics. Keep slogging through the work, maybe it will get better.

What is a driver awareness course? I should have thought all this mindfulness had made you very aware - hang on, have I missed something, have you been caught speeding? Huge sympathies if so - dh has been there twice, and he is the most cautious driver on the planet. On one occasion he was doing 34 in a 30 mph zone, in broad daylight and good visibility - hardly Public Enemy Number One. Whatever it is, MAS - think nice thoughts and it'll soon pass

I am still very sorry about all the hassle for sparkles' little ds: it really shouldn't be this hard to get the support you need and are entitled to.

Hope the party's back on soon KK: and I agree with smee: if your grown up kids still want you at their parties, you must have done a lot right!

Biggest news of my day (apologies, it has been a bit of a slow one) we got out bins emptied. Yay!!!! Our bin men are useless and I keep complaining, so now they are being doubly awkward with me. But I am not one to back off, so when I saw them today try to lift my bin lid, find it frozen and attempt to leave it AGAIN I raced out, made a big show of getting it open and thrust it in their hands. I imagine they will be even worse from now on, but I like a good fight (sometimes)

hooray for bins Cakes !!
yes,I was caught speeding (36 in a 30 zone - not in a town or village,on a nice stretch of temptingly straight country road) so rather than getting points am going to do the course !

Crikey MAS, what a pain. Dh did the same thing. I know speeding is dangerous but I'm afraid I see cases like yours, and his, as more of an easy money-spinner for the police than a real public service. No-one was put in any danger by it.

I hope it isn't too bad - for what it's worth, dh was very negative before he went, but found it quite good.

Of course he was still mightily hacked off at getting caught in the first place

Must be off to marvel at dd's latest Tae Kwon Do belt - she has just passed another grading and has arrived home most chuffed. To celebrate she kicked her Dad in the nuts (I believe it was an accident while demonstrating the technique)

oh poor dh !! well done her though (for belt,of coiurse,not for injuring her dad)
Several friends have done a course and say it's quite interesting -and there's a tea and coffee break

MAS, my SIL had to do it too and she said there were great biscuits. On a less flippant note, she said it was quite interesting too. Hope you don't get some draconian instructor though. A sense of humour seems a must.

Hats off to your DD, Cakes. Is Tae Kwon Do the one to do - I should organise something for DS, and find it all a bit confusing. Maybe you should stand back next time and set DD on the bin men.

For £60 there should be great biscuits! Or is it even more, these days?

I don't think it matters much which martial art you do to be honest. DD tried karate for a couple of weeks and really enjoyed it, but i took her to Tae Kwon Do for a trial as well (against her will, she was all for karate, but they are a bit expensive once you get going properly so I wanted to be sure we were at the one she could stick at IYSWIM) and she liked that even more. Most of them do a couple of trial weeks for free, so it's a good idea to have a go. The clothing costs about £30, the lessons are about £20 a month, and every grading (where you get tested and get the belts) are about £20 a go, every couple of months. oh, and the protective fighting gear is about £50, but worth it because little kids look really funny in it . My Mum could hardly speak she was so appalled at the sight of dd in a boxing type helmet, boxing type gloves and a mouth guard . But whichever one you choose they do seem to really like it. I think it's good for confidence and it also teaches them respect - they have to call the teachers Sir or Ma'am, and bow when they enter the room etc. It's good for them. She lacks any kind of aggression so she'll never be fab at the higher levels but she scores highly at this level and I think it is great for their confidence.

I think you may be right about setting dd on the binmen - she could certainly handle herself these days, if she had a mind to.

Well done DD Cakes - it's great when they find an activity they really enjoy, (although maybe DH needs some protective clothing too ).

Hope the driving course is going well MAS - and the biscuits are good! - I didn't know you could do that instead of points - it sounds a good idea.

Sparkle - I hope you can get some input from the physio. It does make me cross when people who are obviously in need of a particular benefit have to jump through hoops to get it.

Our water has gone off with no warning, - I presume there's a burst pipe somewhere in the village. I've got about a cup full in the kettle, and a large carton of apple juice in the fridge - so we should survive

Hope the work is getting a bit easier Smee, make sure you have little rests every so often if you can, so you don't get too worn out.

Must go - there is a small dog shouting 'I want a walk' at me

Crikey, I hope you get water soon. Can you flush the loo? (always a big worry for me - I wee a LOT)

Water is back now , according to the water board no one else's went off (even more ).

Dog changed her mind about walk when she saw it was raining, I just dragged her along to the end of the village, and now she's giving me evil looks DH managed to fill my wellies with pine needles when he took the tree out yesterday - ouch!

Loo would be a worry for me too Cakes - in fact knowing I couldn't flush would bring on a lot of nervous weeing

Ha ha! Same here. DD calls us 'the wee wee family' because we are all similarly afflicted

I have missed out on a lot of fab stadium concerts because I am too worried about whether I'll be able to get out of the crowd for a wee I almost wet myself when I saw David Bowie and I've never liked to risk it again. Small venues only for me....

Three dc saw the end of my ability to go longer than about an hour without a wee , no running water instantly makes me 1. need to wee, and 2. need vast number of cups tea!

Kurri Ouch for the pine needles and for the dog, our choccie lab has been known to hold on to her wee for about 16 hours as she didn't want to face the weather!

at the idea of cakes dd in full dress going after the binmen!

mas I hope today went ok, and that the biscuits were good.