Please come and hold my hand, I am terrified

[amreallybrickingit]

I am a namechanging regular

I shoul;d start by saying that I have long-term anxiety and depression, I take medication for both

OK so I had a horrific pregnancy and birth qwith dc1 and a less than ideal one with dc2

I have never had a smear test as I am phobic about my body and every time I book one I chicken out

I started feeling about 6 months or so ago that I was still "full" after a bowel movement, and started pushing on my perineum to empty it properly each time

I read about rectoceles on MN and thought I must have one, because I did have injuries after dc1

I was leaking wee as well, this has got worse and worse

I then started a few months ago bleeding a bit in between periods - I fretted and worried about it but did not have the guts to tell a doctor (terrified of being examined)

To cut a long story short I am now bleeding heavily for 3 weeks out of every 4, some stop-starting, some big clots and some "flooding"

I also have a really vile-smelling watery discharge, usually mixed with blood, from my vagina, and a horrible dragging sensation

my urine has been dark and cloudy and vile-smelling for months, I did go for a urine test about this (only had to see a nurse and no exam) and it was sent away and came back clear of infection

I should add that I have a major problem with my body psychologically, I try not to see it naked myself if I can help it let alone let anyone else see it

I have appalling skin all over, lumps, rolls, scars, I smell foul, everything about my body makes me feel ill and for me to let somebody examine me - and they WILL make remarks about how overweight I am - is a huge thing for me

today I have quite a lot of pain and feel generally unwell, and the discharge/bleeding is really bad, so I have decided on the spur of the moment to go to the walk-in centre at the local hospital and just tell them everything

I can't go until dh gets home, so please hold my hand until he gets here, I am in a state

and please, don't try to guess who I am

I was advised by my GP to take ibuprofen before and during my periods to reduce pain and bleeding.

Apparently NSAIDs other than asprin only inhibit the clotting of blood for a few hours. I think ibuprofen inhibits the production of prostaglandins which I believe (relying on memory here ) contributes to periods pains & heavy bleeding. I did a quick Google search and this site recommends ibuprofen for heavy blood loss during periods

Certainly couldn't refer to source for any of it though!!

My GP! And consultant gynae!
Reduces menstrual blood loss by 30-50%, routinely used.

Great article

I hope you get positive news, I'm sorry you had to go through this, it sounds horrible. Please let us know how it goes this week.

OP I have been lurking for a few days, nothing helpful really to add just wanted to say well done for getting the ball rolling, you have been really brave.

Some lovely posts on here esp from Boffinmum - what a nice bunch MNers are :)

Just wondering if you have been to the GP yet OP?

Hope you are ok - please come back and let us know how you got on x

The high dose of ibuprofen (600mg 4 x day) is prescription only because of the side effect risk of causing stomach ulcers - don't take this dose without medical advice as it won't suit everyone and could lead to bigger problems for some!

Been thinking about you today. Hope it went OK at the GP :)

Please come back and let us know how you are feeling op - we are all here x

Hope you are okay. X

bumping this and hoping you are okay.

hi, thanks for asking about me

am a bit freaked out actually

I didn't go to the GP yet, something came up on Friday and I put it off and planned to go some time early this week

but a friend of mine who works in the pharmacy attached ot the surgery has just dropped off a course of antibiotics for me, apparently they are from my GP

they are metronidazole

anyone know what they are usually used for?

I will have to ring him tomorrow, but I feel a bit worried not knowing what I am taking tablets for and why it was so urgent he had to send them over via my friend

Just googled this www.patient.co.uk/medicine/Metronidazole.htm

Soft tissue infections, pelvic, dental etc.

Sounds like you could have pelvic inflammatory disease, and maybe some endometritis as a result.
Not cancer though.

amreally - I'm sure if the doctor thought it was anything Really Terrible he/she would be on the phone haranguing you to make an appt asap.

Just think how great you're going to feel when this is all sorted out. It will be like a new lease of life...a second chance :)

Hello, hope you are okay, I don't want to hassle you but have you heard as anti biotics sounds like its nothing too serious which is brilliant news, i have been thinking of you all week. You should be really proud of yourself you know that don't you? Big virtual hugs to you

Agree with SpawnChorus, if serious, they would def be on phone telling you to make appt.

Well done for facing up to fears & going to get checked out. I am similar, not so severe but I will worry about things with myself for months before getting checked (and randomly googling also) whereas with DS I take straight away. DP is total opposite, goes at first sign, when not usually anything to worry about, need to find happy medium, I think.

Hope you start feeling better soon

I had metronidazole for PID years ago.

I think you bxan breath a sigh of relief!

HAVE A SMEAR TEST ASAP!

:)

Aw, so glad you managed to get some anti-b's.

I bet you within a few days of taking them you feel loads better, but I agree you need to speak to GP and also get yourself booked in for a smear.

If you managed to get an internal and a swab taken, then having a smear will be a breeze .

And this is written by someone who hates and is freaked out by smears!

Come back and let us know how you are getting on.

Oh phew, good stuff :)

Amreallybrickingit
So glad you have got some treatment.
Please don't put off the doc appointment though as it is important for your health.

Lots of hugs to you.

I think the thing that should come out of all this is that you need to get your issues with your body sorted. I had body dismorphia and felt just as terrible as you - put off a smear for years, and other examinations. I just couldn't bear the thought of a doctor looking at me. Therapy really, really helped, but I did lose some weight along the way too. You can feel better about yourself.

Fingers crossed the health issue is going to be sorted, but the doctor definitely would have been on the phone to you to get you in urgently if there were signs of advanced cervical cancer.

Take good care of yourself.

Hello there-maybe when the antibiotics have finished and you go back for a checkup you could ask your GP to refer you to a gynaecologist to get it properly sorted.

Any news?