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Original poster

Any support / buddies or advice to stop drinking wine

44 replies

justwhen · 20/09/2010 10:02

Hi
I know I drink too much wine. I do it to escape various stresses in my life - mainly my seriously ill father and my the general stresses of being a mum to 3 demanding girls. Every morning I wake up & say that I won't drink that day but by 6pm I'm so bogged down by it all that I end up opening the wine and before I know it a whole bottle & maybe more has gone. I know it is no good for me as I have disturbed sleep, am putting on weight and feeling crap in the mornings. That's even before I start to condider any long term health issues.
What can I do to make today different? Sad

OP posts:
feelingafailure · 20/09/2010 10:24

dont have wine in the house. i know cause if is there i would dribk as well/life can be crap.or look at it in a different way its ur treat as long as every thing is done in the house.clean clothes food etc.its a pattern that u have got in too.dont beat your self up.

Portofino · 20/09/2010 10:31

I am exactly the same. I keep lurking on the battle babes bus thread, but am ashamed to post, as exactly as per your comment, the wine comes out despite my best intentions. This week I am determined not to give in. Want to hold hands?

Original poster
justwhen · 20/09/2010 10:57

Yes please portofino! The way I feel at the minute I never want to even see wine again as feeling nauseous etc but I know that will wear off as the day goes on and then I'll be ready for it. Is the battle babes bus thread a similar one to this?
FAFailure yes I need to stop buying it I know but I can't seem to stop that either!

OP posts:
Portofino · 20/09/2010 12:47

OK - so I promise NOT to buy wine on way home today! My dad (a recovering alcoholic) is coming on Thursday to stay for a few days. He says he doesn't mind, but I plan to have no wine in the house over the weekend .

In fact, it was the demon drink that led to his ill health and even the loss of his job. It should be a lesson to me really! And if HE can stop drinking, then we can too surely. What do you reckon, one day at a time?

Original poster
justwhen · 20/09/2010 14:00

Yes one day at a time does sound a good plan. I've got half a bottle of rose in the fridge so it will be a real test for me later on.
I'm not sure whether I need to say give it up for a whole month or just during the week.

It's good news to hear that you're dad was able to stop drinking - how long has it been ssince he stopped?

OP posts:
Portofino · 20/09/2010 18:50

Oh, it must be nearly a year now. He was in a very bad way, going through big wine boxes like water. He developed type 2 diabetes and practically lost the use of his legs - not sure of the exact cause. He stopped eating properly and was discovered by his dsis and BIL one day sitting in his own "mess", unable to get up and was hospitalised. Sad They drained pints of fluid from his belly. He realised then that it would kill him if he continued.

This should have put me off wine for life really! I do moderate it a bit more. But I think it has become a habit - dd sorted out, then a glass when cooking dinner, then another glass, then I go sit on the internet....and the bottle's gone before you know it.

magimix · 20/09/2010 20:11

You need a kick start to give it up, for instance a dose of flu might help :), you definitely won't want to drink any alchohol whilst unwell, or perhaps you need a strong partner who does not have the same addiction and can hold you back from that tempting moment when you reach for the bottle.

kibbutz83 · 20/09/2010 21:32

Yes, a strong partner! Mine stopped me smoking( 28 year habit ) Mind you it was mainly the panic attacks that scared me into stopping.I think FEAR is a good motivator.....But I also think that we have to experience the fear for ourselves rather than seeing someone else go through it :(
I think we maybe need to alter our mindset to stop any addiction? x

Original poster
justwhen · 21/09/2010 10:55

Well I made it through last night with no wine. How did you do Portofino? I didn't find it too hard, mainly cos I was still feeling pretty hungover from Sunday evening. I was a bit cross to find that I still woke up in the night & couldnt get back to sleep for about an hour - I thought this was only happening to me cos of the wine!

My partner is great but unfortunately away a lot with work so that's when I reach for wine as I find my 3 dd's hard to control alone.

OP posts:
Portofino · 21/09/2010 11:58

Well done! I survived but feel wrecked this morning as dd is ill and kept me awake for hours last night. My DH is away too. I find normally that if I don't drink I have restless sleep and really vivid dreams. Couldn't really tell last night though Wink

And it is my birthday today, will be "celebrating" all by myself tonight, so I am half thinking that I "derserve" wine, choc and a good movie when dd has gone to bed. My conscience has not yet decided!

Original poster
justwhen · 21/09/2010 13:19

Blimey that's a real tough one! Happy Birthday - could you be really strict with yourself and limit yourself to a certain amount? I', a believer that it should be ok to drink on special occasions but just to control the amounts (says she who can't do this!).

Anyway well done for a free night last night.
Let me know what you decide later!

How old is your dd?

OP posts:
Octavia09 · 21/09/2010 17:22

If you are addicted to wine then do not have it in your house. Think that the more you drink the worse you look. Think about your children, your parents. If you want a glass of wine take an apple and eat it instead of drinking wine or eat something else good for your body (you might try dark chocolate, Lindt 85%, very nice and good for heart). Try to drink camomile tea in the evening to calm down your nerves. Valerian is also good. You need to try to be in control of yourself. Do not have any alchohol at home at all. Hope your father gets better.

Octavia09 · 21/09/2010 17:25

"I've got half a bottle of rose in the fridge so it will be a real test for me later on."

Just get pour it into the kitchen sink! That would be a new beginning for you. Spend money on something else instead of wine. How much do you spend on wine per week? May be you could join a gym or a dance club or buy nice books and magazines.

Original poster
justwhen · 21/09/2010 19:31

Well have had mega stressful pm even stopped at Co-op on way home & bought wine. Then got back & read your posts Octavia. Thankyou, I think you actually made me think. I did a zumba class this morning & it actually made me realise if I drunk this evening it would undo all my hard work.
What is valerian?

How's your evening going Portofino?

OP posts:
Mouseface · 21/09/2010 19:53

Hello Smile

Portofino - no need to be ashamed!! Come back over to the Brave Babes anytime. We get loads of new posters, old posters and the regulars over there.

No promises needed, no judging from anyone, no telling off, just lots of support no matter how far along you are re quiting or cutting down.

Please don't think that I'm trying to stop this thread, or tell you that the Brave Babes are any better/wiser etc but you are ALL welcome over there, anytime.

There are often links to websites for RL help and advice from folk who have been sober for more than 7 years but still have to take it a day at a time!

Sorry for the hijack. Good luck!

Here if you want it, current page

Octavia09 · 21/09/2010 22:29

Thanks justwhen. I know wine tastes nice but think about yourself because life is not that long. Sometimes I wish we looked as young as 30 when we are 60 but many people (if not most) start to age so much earlier than 60. Being addicted to alchohol is not only bad for your looks (skin, weight) but also for the liver. You cannot buy another liver in a supermarket. Also alchohol increases the level of cholesterol which is very bad for the heart. In your case (you drink a lot of wine) I would run away from it as far as I can. There are so many other things to drink (healthy) and so many other things to do instead of sitting and drinking.

Valerian is a herb. Many people drink it when they cannot fall asleep or have problems with heart.
"In Germany, people used the root to calm down unruly children "
"Valerian root can calm you down when feeling nervous, but does not interrupt the power of concentration."
"Does Valerian Root Calm You Down? www.ehow.com/about_5391150_valerian-root-calm-down.html

My mother in law often buys Bach Flower remedies. She says they are very calming. You can chose which one here www.bach-flowers.co.uk/bach_remedy_selector.asp They are also sold in Boots. Camomile is also great.
DO not forget to say "no" to your friends when they offer you a glass of wine. I am not good at drinking. I get tired from a glass of wine. I hardly ever drink but I eat chocolate Grin. No one ever pushed me to drink more then I wanted. Good luck Wink

Portofino · 22/09/2010 18:58

Octavia, bless you for your kind thoughts and suggestions. I do kind of guess that you have never had a problem with alcohol though....That sounds mean however I phrase it Blush

Portofino · 22/09/2010 18:59

I did have a bottle last night. It was my birthday though, and generally a pretty crap one. Blush The house is wine free awaiting my ddad tomorrow now!

brimfull · 22/09/2010 19:09

OK can I join
I keep meaning to stop drinking during the week and by about supper time am reaching for a glass of wine.
Loads of people I know are the same .

I have had liver function tests which were fine ..thank god.

I drink a few glasses a night ie half a bottle , so large glasses.
Dh drinkls the same and it doesn't bother him at all.

I think it's the fact I need to lose weight that makes me want to stop drinking.

Octavia-great advice but i just knew you weren't a drinker

Original poster
justwhen · 22/09/2010 19:12

Thanks for the link Octavia, think I'll give it a try.
Portofino I have to agree with you that Octavia has probably never had any problem with alcohol - again no harm meant Octavia - please correct us if we're wrong.

Well another stressful & crap day and yes I've just poured myself a small glass of rose. Just after a couple of sips I feel so much calmer. I will not have anymore though as I feel it's already done the trick - I guess rather than becoming tee total I woul just like to cut down drastically (if poss).

Sorry you had a crap birthday Portofino - are you looking forward to your dad coming?

OP posts:
Portofino · 22/09/2010 19:22

Yes and no. He is so much nicer now he is not drinking. But he won't want to do much and the nice thing with visitors is that we usually get out and about and do the "tourist" things we never usually bother with. And meals out etc.

I am suddenly conscious that if we go out for dinner Friday night, do we get a bottle of wine, and have coffee and a brandy like we normally would? (Dad says he is fine with us drinking) Or do we all drink fizzy water and sit there pretending we are all happy with that? Nice bottle of wine is part and parcel of the experience for me, so this raises all sorts of questions in my mind....

Portofino · 22/09/2010 19:24

I suppose, at the end of the day, I am thinking we will be stuck in the house entertaining him for days, and I won't even get to have a glass of wine with my dinner. Fun birthday celebrations Grin! And says more about me than him I think....

Original poster
justwhen · 22/09/2010 19:42

Hi ggirl - must have crossed posts! Yes please would love you to join, it's very reassuring to hear your liver tests were fine!
One of my main motives is also to lose weight. Do you have any cunning plans to do this???

Porto I guess if you just stick to one bottle of wine it won't hurt...........

OP posts:
Portofino · 22/09/2010 19:46

Between us I meant Wink

Portofino · 22/09/2010 19:47

Normally I would have some more when I got home! I am fine with not doing that. I think.