Please calm me down, so worried about prolapse

[OooohWhatIfItHurts]

I had my first DC 8 months ago. For one reason or another I've not had sex since, nor have I really explored my nether regions.

Did a bit of exploring earlier today and my cervix feels much lower than it used to - I've just checked again and I'd say it's about 2 inches in, although I'm sure it felt lower when I checked it earlier tonight. I'm having a total freakout - my mum had serious prolapse issues and had bits dangling out, and had to have pretty major surgery last year to sort it out. I just can't bear the thought. And I'm 33.

I've not had any incontinence problems at all and so it hadn't really crossed my mind until tonight that there might be a problem.

Does your cervix ever go back up to where it used to be, or is it always a bit lower after a vaginal birth?

Is it possible to bring it back up with kegels?

Does 2 inches in sound low to you?

Does breastfeeding make a difference?

I haven't had a period yet. Will that make a difference?

See your doctor. 2" does sound low to me.

Hi - I have had the same. My cervix is quite a bit lower than it was before I had DS. To me, it feels like it is right there IYKWIM, but my GP says its positioning is fine. (I suspect she's quite relieved that it isn't hiding in the posterior cul-de-sac anymore, actually :o.)

Yes, you can lift it up again quite a bit with pelvic floor exercises. You'll never be able to get it back to where it was, but you can lift it a bit.

Sadly, 2" is quite normal. That's where mine was after I had DS. Caveat: I had an utterly crap birth. More than four hours of pushing and then a forceps delivery. But your pelvic floor suffers even from a "normal" birth.

Yes, breastfeeding makes a difference, for the worse. The hormone relaxin, which helps tendons and ligaments relax during pregnancy so things can open up for the birth, is present in your body until 6 months after you've stopped breastfeeding. So you won't know until then what the state of things will be.

Periods do not make a difference.

I will say that I was completely freaked out at the thought that my cervix was so low when I contemplated having sex, because how could a penis fit in there as well as a cervix? I waited four months before trying anything (massive tear etc), but except for the pain from scar tissue, it was actually ok.

I hope this helps. Will check back.

(But I do agree with solo, why not have your GP check things out - if s/he says it's normal, you might feel better.)

Please don't worry it's highly unlikely i would think, you have only had one child.

After i had my second child i was constantly worried all because of something silly i read, i went to hospital and the doctor, no less than 25 times- each time they told me i was fine.

Go and speak to your doctor and they will check for you.

Thanks MOUSE and thesunshines. That has made me feel a bit better. You've given me a bit of hope.

I really hope that you're right. I can't stop thinking that I will never enjoy sex again, that it will get progressively worse until everything is hanging out, that I'll not be able to have another baby either because I wont be able to carry it or it will speed up the problem.

TBH I am devastated. I will go to the docs, I guess, but I can barely cope with the possibility that they wont reassure me.

Course they will reassure you, please don't think the worst till you have been to the doctors and try not to worry.
I'm sure you will be just fine and when you come out the doc's you will wonder what all the fuss was about.

This is really making me angry. I was never told anything about vaginal prolapses and the cervix decending into the vagina. WHY ARE WE NOT WARNED ABOUT THIS?? Its a huge issue and ive just read that it effects 30% of all women who have kids. I am absolutely devastated and i am only 25, I cant imagine living like this for the rest of my life, with my doctor fobbing me off every time, saying that its "normal". Normal isnt good enough to be frank. This isnt something they teach you in school and why on earth not?? It effects everything, your sex life, the way your partner sees you nd your self confidence. There's hardly any information online and when the doctor diagnoses you they dont give you any leaflets on it. I was under the impression this happens to women over the age of 50, not in their 20's.

There are some sites below that made me realize the size of this issue. Its effecting so many women...

www.babycenter.com/400_do-you-have-a-vaginal-prolapse-after-childbirth_2300468_279.bc?sortFieldName=createDate&startIndex=&batchSize=

www.medhelp.org/posts/Maternal--Child/Vaginal-appearance-changes-after-childbirth/show/167312

OoohWhatIfItHurts - when you go see your GP, make sure s/he knows this is an issue that is making you extremely anxious and that you would like to be reassured. GPs can be clueless about the effects their casual pronouncements have on their patients - they may know there's nothing to worry about but somehow they seem to forget that patients can't read their minds. Some are better than others, though.

However, I have to disagree with thesunshinesbrightly. A prolapse is entire possible even if you have only had one child. The number of children is only relevant with respect to what the pregnancy and birth have done to your pelvic floor - you can definitely have a prolapse after a first birth if it was an extremely crappy one with a prolonged second stage.

Anyway - go get it checked out. Have a (((HUG))).

If it is then all is not lost. it can be fixed. They can hitch it up again .

Important thing is to have it looked at- and remember that when you lie down it doesn't hang so low- the dr usually makes you cough deeply to see if it moves.

If you aren't happy with GP then ask to see a gyane.

I had mine repaired 19 years back. It is better though not in smae place as before DCs.

Thanks again. I've remembered that my HV is coming next Tuesday to do DS's 8 month check so I will start the ball rolling by talking about it with her.

Yes, I've noticed that it is much further back when I'm lying down. What is the significance, purplepeony of whether it moves when I cough? (Mine doesn't move when I cough but I can pull it up with pelvic floor squeezes).

How much did you tell your DHs about your problem? I feel completely de-sexualised as it is. Whenever DH is around there, all I can think about is the various exams I had when having DS. I feel like I need to talk about it with him but equally I feel I'm at risk of putting him off completely.

The coughing when you lie down is so the dr can see if there is any "slack" in your tissues and if there is it will move downwards when you cough- coughing increases pressure on the pelvic floor.

Meanwhile- try not to lift anything heavy. I remember mine giving a lot more when I lugged my DD upstairs in a baby chair thing.

I didn't tell DH as much as I should have - he would have been a great support :(. I think I was too much in my own head from the trauma of DS's birth.

If your DH is any good at listening I'd tell him.

meeskamooskamickeyMOUSE - I have never heard such crap.

OP - Go get it checked.

my doctor fobbing me off every time, saying that its "normal". Normal isnt good enough to be frank. This isnt something they teach you in school and why on earth not?? It effects everything, your sex life, the way your partner sees you nd your self confidence.

Your body doesn't stay the same over time. You don't have a teenage body no matter if you have kids or not. If your partner is bothered by how a woman is after she gives birth to children, find a new partner!

Schools don't need to teach you this. a) it's common sense that your body will change over time b) how is it their job to educate about how the body can change after childbirth?

Why on Earth is 'normal' not good enough?

It only affects 'everything' if you let if.

I think far too many young women are getting the idea that you have to look like a teenage model or a porn star to be attractive.

THAT is the problem, not lack of warning that: hey, gravity's a bitch!

TheSunShines, which crap do you mean? The fact that you can have a prolapse after having only one child? It actually can happen, even if you've not heard of it.

Let's get the op in a worse state then she is already in.

sunshine I don't know what point you are making.

My gran had a severe prolpase in her 60s which was attributed to her first baby , which was still born. It weighed 14 , yes 14 lbs. Very very hard delivery.
She then had 2 more children.

I had some prolapse but not much really after DC 1- it was a very rapid birth of under 3 hrs total labour. Whoosh- is about it!
I then had a "normal" 6 hr labour with DC2 who was around 7lbs, and an easy birth.

I saw 3 drs including a private gynae before gynae no 2 agreed I had prolapse- not severe, but it was making me uncomfortable and I couldn't use tampons- they just slid out and there wasn't much space even for the mini size.

I then had several sessions of physio with electrical stimulation for my perineal/pelvic floor muscles but no real change.

I chose to have it fixed- had private insurance but I am sure HNS would have done it too.

Hi Ladies

I would love for this not to be a prolapse but know that having my cervix dangling where it is at the moment is probably not good news, whether I've had one child or more. But thanks for your concern, both thesunshines and MOUSE. I will have it checked out. It's the only way to know for sure.

Expat, I think you were responding to mum2411's post. Partly you are right, that I am grieving for the loss of my young body and the knowledge that I will never be the same again, no matter how well I look after myself. And whilst I did obviously have plenty of warning about sagging boobs and stretchmarks, I've also found that a bit depressing - although not on this scale.

But this goes deeper. I fear not being able to have sex ever again, for physical reasons. That's not a superficial, magazine driven issue. I fear not being able to have another baby. It has hit my confidence far more than my boobs and crepey tummy - all I can see is a future of my internal organs hanging out and smelling of urine. I just don't know how people summon up the courage to leave the house when it gets to that stage. Certainly I don't believe that I could be attractive if that happened. I have never been beautiful or slim but that will absolutely be the nail in the coffin.

I did discuss this with my DH last night and he was wonderful, completely supportive and loving. He also swears that this won't put him off me and that he'd still love to work out the sex thing slowly, together. That has helped, a bit. I feel calmer but still very, very upset.

oh what you must also accept though is that these problems are a) common and b) can be fixed.

It is many years since I had mine fixed and i think it has deteriorated slightly, but there are many ways of fixing pelvic organ prolapse and expert surgeons who can do so.

If you do have it, then you could choose an elective Caesar if yo u had another child.

If your GP doesn't give you enough answers then you can ask for a referral.

My point i am trying to make is what is the point in getting op all worked up before being checked out??? telling her horror stories and making her worry when infact the chances she has had one are very slim.

In op she asked to be calmed down did she not?

I don't think anyone has given her horror stories- I certainly haven't.

The odds are not slim- it is quite possible- but for her sake I hope she is okay.

I think everyone has given the OP validation that she is probably not imagining the low cervix thing. When you're not sure what's happening, it's good not to be dismissed with a pat on the head, and it is equally easy to imagine the worst.
Yes, the OP has asked for comfort, and most of the answers have been comforting, except expat's, but then, she is rather well known for her "kick up the arse" style. :) Not necessarily who I'd like to talk to if I were upset, but good for some.
I also don't think it's a bad thing to prepare the OP for the possibility that it may be a true prolapse, even after a first birth (and it can definitely happen). Better to be prepared than to find herself crying to a startled GP "but everyone on Mumsnet said it couldn't be!!!"
(OP, I am not taking your problem lightly, just wanting to give you a chuckle.)

to expatinscotland, hey, it would be an ideal world if we could all just accept ourselves as we are, but i'm 25! Its far to early to have these sorts of worries... and yes i do think they should warn us about vaginal prolapses because i didnt do any pelvic floor exercises. (If they told me these would have prevented it, i would have done them every day!). I just wish i had been a little more prepared, if i knew then what i know now i would without a doubt have had a c-section. They dont tell you about the severaty of pain in childbirth, or the fact that when you have a tear the midwives dont always sew you up properley, and there are bits poking out that were'nt there before!

Its not just about vanity. Like OooohWhatIfItHurts says, it goes much deeper than that. Its about self confidence.

I do agree with you on the point that a lot of young people like myself feel like they have to look a certain way to be attractive. But men do find "that look" attractive, or else why would they print loads of magazines for men with these girls in?? Its a sad fact, the majority of men are a bit shallow

I'm lucky to have a found a decent one tho!

'I just wish i had been a little more prepared, if i knew then what i know now i would without a doubt have had a c-section.'

That doesn't prevent prolapse. At all.

Adults have to take some responsibility for educating themselves about the choices they make in life, too.

If you have trouble accepting yourself you need to see a counsellor.

Because women's bodies change when they have babies, be they 18 or 48.

Actually ExP vagainal deliveris make it more of a possibility. The strain of carrying for 9 months can give you prolapse but usually it's down to the delivery.