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Anyone have experience with anorexia?

35 replies

innocuousnamechange · 23/07/2010 20:44

I just need someone to talk to about this. I had an appointment today with a counsellor from the depression and anxiety service. I've been waiting a long time for this appointment, since last year. I was truthful with her about everything, and the fact that since new year I think I'm having some problems with food. If anything, I expected her to tell me, or rather confirm, that I was bulimic. So it was a real shock for her to tell me that in fact she thinks I'm a purging anorexic Havign had a quick google (I know) I think EDNOS is more of an appropriate diagnosis, because my BMi is not underweight (19, though it started at 33) and becasue my periods haven't stopped. And, the most obvious of all, I don't have an anorexic body. I know the behaviours are there, but I feel a fraud tbh. SHe said in all likelihood I'd be referred to the eating disorder service, but she can't guarantee how long the waiting list is I hope it's not as long as the one I've just been on.
My problem is this. I feel like a fake. I don't feel anorexic, aqnd while I knwo that denial is all part of it, I am mortified to have that diagnosis when I look the way I do. The thought of having to go to the eating disorders clinic horrifies me, because of the way I look. I am grateful I finally had an appointment today, and I do feel a load has been lifted by knowing I'm going back to this woman next week to talk more as she was really really lovely. Can anyone reassure me that they felt frauds in their diagnosis too? Or that their reaction was to deny it? When the therapist said anorexia I was literally speechless and went to all sorts of lengths to describe why I couldn't be. I know that's an odd thing to say, but I need to know this is a normal reaction. I feel ready to tell my best friend about my problems, she knows all about the anxiety and depression, and to an extent the eating as i've lost so much weight, but I don't want her laughing if I tell her about the anorexia. And yes, I know that's my paranoia.

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 23/07/2010 20:57

It is totally normal. Its part of the big horrible cycle of "I'm not ill... But I want to be" if that makes sense? You don't have to be skeletal to be classified as anorexic.

Firstly you need to accept that you are ill, that you have a problem, and be prepared to be honest with people about it. Because frankly, the more people know about it, the harder it is to carry on slipping down the slope.

Beat is a really good site.

Keep talking on here if its helping. x

bibbitybobbityhat · 23/07/2010 20:59

What do you mean by "anorexic body"?

innocuousnamechange · 23/07/2010 21:05

Thanks boob. I do intend to be completely honest, I realised fairly recently that I am using this to try and control my anxiety and for a time it worked. It doesn't any more and I know it's a problem.
Bib, I know that aesthetics shouldn't come into it but I feel that an 'anorexic' is someone who looks underweight. To my mind, my body doesn't. We establsiehd today I clearly have body image issues as I can't, in my head, see the difference in me now from when I was more than 5 stone heavier. My bmi is within the healthy range, and i have plenty of fat on me. The lady made a good point, that anorexics don't wake up one morning at 6 stone, they lose the weight to get there and are no less anorexic than when they cross the bmi line. It's semantics but to me it makes a difference. If I looked underweight I would feel more comfortable being honets and reaching out for help tbh, and I know it's terrible to say that

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 23/07/2010 21:07

Thing is, you wouldn't Because you still wouldn't see yourself as ill, if that makes sense. Please please get help now, before you are too far down the line (not minimising your suffering, I hope you understand what I mean).

innocuousnamechange · 23/07/2010 21:10

Boob, i am getting help. I went for an initial mental health assessment last autumn when my anxiety started getting really bad, and have been on a waiting list since. As the lady said today, it's pretty clear that I needed seeing sooner and that I learned to 'cope' in the meantime, albeit in a veyr destructive way. I made the promise to myself to be truthful as there's no point otherwise. But having had all afternoon to think about it, I am worried that I don't know if I can stop. I don't know if I want to stop

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 23/07/2010 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SirBoobAlot · 23/07/2010 21:15

That wasn't a criticism of you - but it was kind of pre-empting your last sentence. The longer you live with an ED, the harder it is to get it to go away.

Is it the control you need? Because you can still control your eating in a healthy way.

innocuousnamechange · 23/07/2010 21:21

Boob, the control has been very important to me. She asked outright when I told her about howmy anxiety had manifested itself last year if I thought I was going mad and I really did. It was brought on by my life pretty much imploding when I got mg, my partner walke dout and I lost my job all at once. That was more than 2 years ago now and I don't think of it but it's the one thing that makes me cry when I have to talk about it . My anxiety got very out of hand but the medication I was on last year to help really did help for a time. It made me feel able to tackle the practical things in my life that were worrying me, my mail and being able to answer mt phone, and not worry that people were after me. And my weight. I put on a lot when I was pg and afterwards when I had PND. So I felt able to finally do somehting baout it. But then it got out of hand. It's really only in the last month or so that the anxiety has come back and havign talked it through today I think it's because my purging has been stepped up big time. I am doing it at least 5 times a day, far eating the smallest ammounts I think that's pretty much thrown my body into a panic.

OP posts:
innocuousnamechange · 23/07/2010 21:22

Bloody hell excuse typos.
Mg should read pg and hopefully the rest is understandable

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 23/07/2010 23:11

The BMI of 19 is important. Below BMI 20 and you're classed as being a very low weight. Not a problem for someone that has always been very thin their whole life. But it is a problem if someone has dropped a lot of weight to get there... and is only staying there either through over-exercising, undereating, vomiting, laxative abuse or a combinations of all of them.

Anorexia is a vicious circle perpetuated by lack of nutrition. Simple malnutrition affects your perception and ability to be rational ... so what looks like 'an OK body' or even 'a body with plenty of fat on it' is actually painfully thin. Malnutrition also heightens anxiety & feelings of depression. Regular dieting - even if it isn't crash dieting - is enogh to trigger anorexic behaviour patterns in people with a particular brain chemistry. You are, unfortunately, one of those people. Denial is very much par for the course.

'Recovery' therefore means 'eating'. Which may sound crashingly obvious. However, reversing the malnutrition has to happen first.... even before the patient is psychologically ready to recover.

innocuousnamechange · 24/07/2010 19:44

Chil I do take your point, but honestly, this isn't denial, my body isn't skinny but I know that not seeing me you'll chalk that down to not being able to see myself properly. I know that logically I'm much smaller than I used to be, but truly, I was massive to start with.
I've felt very on edge today. Not eaten a lot as is par for the course. But the problem is that, having had a medical professional tell me yesterday that I'm anorexic I have had it in my head that it's ok to behave this way, as, hey, I'm anorexic, what do they expect . I should make it clear that the woman I spoke to said that medically it wasn;t her place to diagnose me, and in the event that I do see my GP, which will be soonish I think as she is speakign to him about whether to go back on some anti depressants, I don't think he'll stick with that label. I am beginning to accept the EDNOS diagnosis and feel more comfortable with that.
I have a lot more worries but I don't know if this is really the place to be expressing them. I am aware that the thoughts I have are not rational and I'm not sure other peopel will find it helpful for me to be posting here, especially as I seem to have an answer for everything . Thank you for the support though. It's given me a lot to think about

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Ohthisisnthappening · 24/07/2010 19:50

It is normal to feel like a fraud, I did, don't worry about that.

I don't know why we do, but it's OK to feel like that and still accept the treatment...though the treatment I had didn't help a great deal imo.

You will get over it if and when you are ready to.

Good luck.

innocuousnamechange · 24/07/2010 19:53

sorry for calling you deranged. As you can see, I've got a bit on my plate and have a short fuse.

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Ohthisisnthappening · 24/07/2010 19:54

Don't worry...shake hands?

Ohthisisnthappening · 24/07/2010 19:54
Smile
Ohthisisnthappening · 24/07/2010 19:56

I was gonna say, anorexia is a mental state but it doesn't mean you will always be really bad. You can be anorexic but doing alright. People might not even notice anything.

It's just a label.

Chil1234 · 25/07/2010 08:18

"Chil I do take your point, but honestly, this isn't denial, my body isn't skinny but I know that not seeing me you'll chalk that down to not being able to see myself properly"

A BMI of 19 may not make you skeletally thin but you are very thin nevertheless. However, much more important than this number is how you behave to remain thin. Severe food restriction is extremely dangerous. Assuming you're relatively young it won't kill you today, tomorrow or next week but if it goes uncorrected your body will suffer eventually. Deliberate vomiting upsets the electrolyte balance in the body and, in some cases, can kill instantly.

If you feel happier calling the problem EDNOS rather than anorexia nervosa, that's your call but you need treatment and the treatment will be the same either way.

purplepeony · 25/07/2010 09:39

I honestly would not get too hung up on your BMI- there are rugby players and athletes whose BMIs make them obese, but it's all muscle.

When I saw a specialist ( gynae) about a problem I had he said my current BMI of 19 was fine and that the normal range is 18.5- 25, and from a health point of view it is better to be at the lower end.

I am not thin- my BMI has gone up over the past year to 20 and I need to lose 5 pounds around my middle., as I am struggling to get into a size 10 which I have been all my life ( i am now 50s.) I have a belly, fat upper arms and am def. not skeletal. I am only 5' 2" and very small boned.

For what it's worth, Madonna evidently weighs 7st 7 lbs and up to 8 stone when not touring- and I don't think anyone would accuse her of looking or being anorexic.

So, take your BMI into account but don't make too much of it.

If you are using your food intake as a means of control and thinking it to emotional issues, that's another matter and you do need help.

innocuousnamechange · 25/07/2010 09:56

Chil I take your point, I do. Thank you.
And peony, yes, I have a flabby middle that tbh short of surgery I will never get rid of. 2 pregnancies have destroyed it. I am 5'7 and not particuarly small built so I would have to get very small indeed to actually look thin. I don't want this to be my point really, I am gettign help, I just don't like the label I was given. I know the treatment will be the same regardless. Thank you.

OP posts:
purplepeony · 25/07/2010 10:09

I can s ee how the label is hard to take, but anyone getting any label for any disease associated with mental health issues can be shocked.

Try not to get hung up on the label but make sure you follow through with all the help.

If you were very overweight then you could lose a lot of that and not end up skeletal; if you started at 8 st and were anorexic then you'd see the effects more quickly.

secunda · 25/07/2010 10:14

Agree with purplepeony, the label 'anorexia' is for your mindset, not your weight I think part of the diagnosis is having an BMI below a certain point, I think 17.5, but that is a less important part of it I think. I have had a BMI below 18.5 my entire life, even though that is the 'minimum' healthy weight. But as I eat normally it's neither here nor there. Similarly, having a BMI that is technically within the healthy range is meaningless if you know your relationship with food is damaging. If you don't change your relationship with food, you probably will end up looking anorexic as well as being it IYSWIM

Ohthisisnthappening · 25/07/2010 13:40

That's interesting about BMI. I've just calculated mine on the NHS website and was surprised to find it is only 19.7.

I'm 5ft 7 and weigh about 9 stone.

I don't look or feel skinny - about right probably. Mind you I have been 6 stone before which wasn't very good.

Ohthisisnthappening · 25/07/2010 13:42

(6 st equates to 13.1!!!)

Chil1234 · 25/07/2010 16:11

@ohthisishappening... if you really had hit 6st at 5'7" then you must have been seriously ill

ninah · 25/07/2010 16:21

an anorexic will never feel 'skinny' though -
just, maybe 'I'm ok like this, I don't want to get any bigger - to be on the safe side a little bit less etc '
I was diagnosed at 13, had never heard of it and neither had my family
It is possible to overcome
don't lose any more time to this illness op, it eats up your life and makes things very small for you, not just your body
glad you are getting help