I just need someone to talk to about this. I had an appointment today with a counsellor from the depression and anxiety service. I've been waiting a long time for this appointment, since last year. I was truthful with her about everything, and the fact that since new year I think I'm having some problems with food. If anything, I expected her to tell me, or rather confirm, that I was bulimic. So it was a real shock for her to tell me that in fact she thinks I'm a purging anorexic Havign had a quick google (I know) I think EDNOS is more of an appropriate diagnosis, because my BMi is not underweight (19, though it started at 33) and becasue my periods haven't stopped. And, the most obvious of all, I don't have an anorexic body. I know the behaviours are there, but I feel a fraud tbh. SHe said in all likelihood I'd be referred to the eating disorder service, but she can't guarantee how long the waiting list is I hope it's not as long as the one I've just been on.
My problem is this. I feel like a fake. I don't feel anorexic, aqnd while I knwo that denial is all part of it, I am mortified to have that diagnosis when I look the way I do. The thought of having to go to the eating disorders clinic horrifies me, because of the way I look. I am grateful I finally had an appointment today, and I do feel a load has been lifted by knowing I'm going back to this woman next week to talk more as she was really really lovely. Can anyone reassure me that they felt frauds in their diagnosis too? Or that their reaction was to deny it? When the therapist said anorexia I was literally speechless and went to all sorts of lengths to describe why I couldn't be. I know that's an odd thing to say, but I need to know this is a normal reaction. I feel ready to tell my best friend about my problems, she knows all about the anxiety and depression, and to an extent the eating as i've lost so much weight, but I don't want her laughing if I tell her about the anorexia. And yes, I know that's my paranoia.