How to 'get over' finding out your ancestry is not what you were told?

[erwoo]

I was brought up being told that my great grandfather was Jewish. I recently took an ancestry DNA test, and I now know that this was not true. He had lied about his origins after 'running away' as a young man. He was actually from Newcastle. Growing up, this was a big part of my identity, as my grandmother was raised with stories about grandparents escaping from Russia et cetera. Now we know it is all a crock of

How can you be sure it was a lie, I don't think ancestry is that accurate and there might have been an explanation.

For something like Azhkenazi Jewish DNA, it is very accurate as it's a distinct genetic grouping. So if he was indeed Jewish, it would certainly show up.

Have you actually traced him on the website as opposed to just doing a DNA test?

Ha! I grew up being told that my family background was strictly Catholic from England, Ireland and Germany. A lot didn’t add up. Turns out they were Sephardi Jews who got on a boat in Germany, but had lived in Jamaica for many generations and prior to that, escaped the Spanish Inquisition in Portugal when the mother of the family was burnt at the stake for heresy. some had lived in England, but with names like Lewis and Sommerveld, it was pretty clear they were also Jewish. My grandmother (who was a horrible, ignorant human being) was a huge fan of the White Australia Policy and blamed Vatican II for the downfall of civilization would be spinning in her grave in what is plainly the wrong side of the cemetery!

The Ancestry DNA tests really aren't that good for where people are from, plus you are three generations on and maybe he wasn't of a specific genetic grouping. Doesn't mean he wasn't Jewish.

Have you found his birth certificate? That's the way to actually find out, not with DNA

Do you have any 100% Jewish matches?

Also, there is a real possibility 1 or both or his parents werent bio his.

How do you know hes specifically for Newcastle

I mean I couldn't get even mildly annoyed about something someone did 4 generations ago, when ancestry DNA isn't all reliable and there may be a plausible explanation. Even if he did lie, there's probably good reason for it.

Interesting. My Dad's came back as being more than 90% from the corner of Engalnd he knew he and his family were from.

My mum whose family is much more diverse has refused to do the kit she was given as a gift.

I would think the DNA would show up, even if its only 10% or whatever.

I'm babies being swapped in hospitals was a lot more common back then. Seems odd that someone would lie about being Jewish. Or perhaps there was a hidden adoption in the family.

I got a big shock fairly recently too. My mother invented a long spiel about my supposed father and it has all turned out to be a complete fantasy island.
More than 50 years of lies.
I know this for sure because my actual relatives were also on the site. I am beyond pissed off. I hate lies.

It's not hugely unusual, unfortunately.
So, I'm in my 50s, a time when a lot of people have the space and desire to research their roots.
One friend - Dad not who he was told (made a lot of things "fit"). Another had a different grandmother. Another keeps finding new half siblings popping up on Ancestry. Yet another, raised by a single mum, found her father.
And that's just the fallout from normal, messy human behaviour.

I was slightly disappointed to find my Ancestry DNA results were exactly as expected. The only question is that my own surname is almost completely absent from the matches, so I do wonder if, maybe 4 generations back, something went on. But it could just be chance.

I'm not convinced of the accuracy of some of these tests and the information they give.

This is the problem with is disturbing the dead. You find out stuff you didn’t necessarily want to know - like some of your ancestors are complete Walter mittys.

df side have a tale about being heavily involved in the Easter uprising and being Irish - the census suggests not . Like you this was a significant part of the family history when younger. Df side haven’t moved more than 20 miles in the last 200 yrs although there is some connection to Ireland. Distant cousins I think.
dm side were all upstanding individuals - until someone did a dna test and found half brothers in Australia.

I aim to be pragmatic about it all- it’s worthy of an eye roll and no more.

How does your DNA test tell you that your great-grandfather came from Newcastle?
Mine was not so specific, it gave me countries and groups of countries.
In any case, perhaps your great grandfather was not your grandmother's biological father and your dna is showing someone else.

Until very recently most people weren't very mobile at all. Families are/were concentrated in areas. My Dad's DNA thingy pinpointed his ancestry to within a few miles. It will be different for people with more adventurous ancestors. I also think its become "better" as they get more results on file.

It doesn’t prove anything other than genetics though. People used to hide adoptions all the time/babies were mixed up in hospitals/people had affairs… the stories could still be true.

df side have a tale about being heavily involved in the Easter uprising and being Irish - the census suggests not . Like you this was a significant part of the family history when younger

Cousin reckons that DGF was a Jarrow Marcher - except he wasn't. He just left the north east at the same time the march took place and cousin has added 2+2 and made 5.

With it being a great grandparent it wouldn’t bother me even if it was a load of bollocks. I’m assuming you didn’t know him? But is it not possible he was Jewish but not Ashkenazi Jewish? So it wouldn’t show up on a dna test? Maybe he left Newcastle and converted?

I found out my grandad isn’t my grandfather which was a shock. My grandma would have some questions to answer if she was still alive! 😁

I always thought my grandad was a Welsh coal miner from Gwent. I embraced my Welsh-ness through my mother. Wore daffodils and leeks on St David’s day etc.
Then mum did a DNA test on ancestry that revealed her father was actually French-Canadian… probably a soldier stationed in England after the war.
Nan (my mum’s mum) was living separately from her husband and must’ve had a boyfriend with benefits.
Later my mum admitted that she ‘sort of knew’ her Welsh ‘father’ wasn’t her dad.
I felt a bit sad and weird for a week or two but have since embraced my new heritage and learned a lot about the French Quebec settlers from the 1600s and 1700s.
I did feel a bit cheated that everyone lied about it from nan onwards, but hey I don’t judge them. My husband thinks it’s quite exotic as his family is very staid and a bit boring.

As I always say on these threads; one of ancestors was done for bestiality with a sheep[ poor sheep!],and a great grandfather served six months for manslaughter,from the very sketchy details he seems to have hit someone while driving a hansom cab.It doesn't worry me , but i still think my grandfather was a rogue. He seems to have tried to be anonymous.

Oh, and my late husband found that one of his direct ancestors was actually the lodger's not the husband IYSWIM. He actually is named on the birth certificate but the husband brought him up!

Was this person Welsh per chance? The term 'sheep shagger' came about because the fine for stealing sheep was often extreme so they would instead say they were having sex with the sheep as this was usually a nominal fine so most of the sheep shaggers were actually sheep rustlers. If not, ouch ...

I think it’s worth trying to hold in mind that each generation has its own struggles and priorities. It might not be as clear cut as ancestors ‘lying’ to everyone else even if in todays eyes it looks like that and feels very hurtful.
Also that we might one day all want to be remembered by others in a certain way which might not match up with the full realistic picture of our lives.