How to 'get over' finding out your ancestry is not what you were told?

[erwoo]

I was brought up being told that my great grandfather was Jewish. I recently took an ancestry DNA test, and I now know that this was not true. He had lied about his origins after 'running away' as a young man. He was actually from Newcastle. Growing up, this was a big part of my identity, as my grandmother was raised with stories about grandparents escaping from Russia et cetera. Now we know it is all a crock of

medianewbie Interesting that the ages fit either theory. From his matches, he might be able to work out who his father is (depending on who else has taken that company's test), but I'm not sure you could work it out from your test and matches. He might easily still be your uncle, depending on how the DNA divided.

If he's only just matched with you, he might be in touch with you himself, when he sees you are such a close match - or you could contact him. That's probably your best bet.

@LozengeShaped I cannot contact him. I had wondered if he / his kids / other family are on Ancestry whether it might be clearer for me, so worth doing?

Why are you so sure your grandparents’ genetics will be reflected in yours? One of my siblings has a fairly large % of a certain ethnicity and I have 0%. And no, I’m not adopted, no family skeletons in the closet here. Fairly ordinary outcome.

Btw I tried 23andme and it gave me some random vague made up shit. My siblings and I then tried an Asian company (we are East Asian, born and bred, for generations, my only tie to the UK is moving here as an adult) and it mostly matched our ancestry records (customarily kept by families in Asia). Commercial DNA tests only work well if they have a database of DNA info from people with your genetics and ancestry. It’s true that Ashkenazi Jew ancestry is more likely to show up on 23andme, but plenty of studies indicate this isn’t always the case. Also, you said “for something like Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry” — you don’t sound very sure. Are you certain it couldn’t have been Sephardi, Mizrahi, etc Jewish?

Or his ancestors might very plausibly have been converts for that matter. And if your great great grandparents fled Russia and you’re now in the UK, doesn’t it stand to reason they had to bring up your great grandfather up somewhere in the UK, like Newcastle? I’m genuinely confused

I was v surprised by how accurate my Ancestry DNA was. I was expecting it to be loosely accurate but it identified the precise location my family comes from, down to almost a collection of streets and then a few other interlopers from Scandinavian countries (already knew about them).

Only slight surprise was that my maternal cousin matches me on the paternal side as well and interestingly, she found out that her paternal Grandad was somebody else to whom she thought.

@ladygindiva this is quite normal if you go back a few generations. Being engaged was seen as as good as married and lots and lots of people got pregnant whilst betrothed. Wasn't quite the scandal you'd think 😁

Depends on your age?

My Gran has been looking into something similar. For fun. She's 87.

Think you need to get out of your narrow mind.

I said potentially as far back as.

Idiot.

It would be very very rare though surely?

Not sure how your grandmother being 87 means her father could be 220 years older than you?
Mr grandad is 89. His parents were born around the turn of the century. 80ish years before me.

Who cares?

Lots of people are very interested in their ancestors and genealogy. 🙄

This seems to have turned into aibu 😂

(One of my g grandfathers was born over 185 years ago, almost 130 years before I was born...)

Yes which is weird.... like who cares your family originated as farmers. They literally spent all day working on the field. Didn't travel. Nothing magical.

It’s interesting to know your family history and where you came from.

I just realised I think I've misunderstood @PenguinPete . Apologies.

Shock horror - people are interested in different things.

I have cousins on my heritage coming up as half siblings in my case my dna results come up different than others. It is most likely because being an ethnic minority and parents related so the results to a relative are always stronger. It makes it harder to determine how I am related to matches that I do not know.

Nothing I find out would change who I am now or who I was growing up so why would it worry me? I think history is important but it is what it is there is no benefit to worrying

@LozengeShaped (& anyone else who read my posts :) My query Half Sibling / Uncle has just disappeared from my 'Matchings' on my DNA portal. All the other ones, inc 15th cousins with 0.00001 % DNA etc are still there. It would seem he saw the listing too. The plot thickens...

Did you watch Long Lost Family False Identities last night? This is one of the possible explanations why your ancestry may not be what you thought it was.

My query Half Sibling / Uncle has just disappeared from my 'Matchings' on my DNA portal.
As he had only just appeared on your matches, he must have only just taken the test, and seen his full results (not just his match to you). He may have come to the same conclusion as you, and made the result private. If so, and it's a shock to him, it's no surprise he did that. He won't want people to know yet, and he'll be re-evaluating his past. If I were you, I'd just leave it a bit, and he might be in touch himself.

Alternatively, perhaps he hadn't realised before that he could be "seen", and just wanted more privacy.

I would take the ancestry test with a pinch of salt. You are right some groups are very identifiable, but certainly not all.

Generally ancestry research through DNA is very overhyped, because we have very incomplete data. So someone will say - oh I had family in the X region of France, because they have a marker that tends to be found there. But for all we know, that marker is also found in the Netherlands and Portugal, we just don’t know that yet.

Ancestry don’t tell you this because they know you need a result to feel it was worthwhile spending the money.

Outside of W Europe it’s even more incomplete.

It would seem an odd thing to lie about so I’d give him the benefit of the doubt while you do some more research and get an independent opinion.

@LozengeShaped it's me that just took the test (my results went live 2 wks ago & showed him on there for 10 days but now it's down). Probs not worth doing Ancestry now to see if hes there as he'll have changed his settings no doubt. Thank you for your input x

@ThePoetsWife I'll watch that thank you x I took rhe test to find out something else (I did). The 'uncle/halfsib' was a shock, & not a good one hence my need to know which it is.

Agreed and to add I'm not sure of their data protection with regard to the security of giving your dna to them

You sound like my Mum who never understands people having different interests. No, I don't suppose many of us are finding out Aunty Maud went to Actual Hogwarts but some of us are interested in the past, our family and what brought us to where we are today. You don't have to be interested. I don't like Coronation Street or spin classes, but I appreciate that other people get something out of it.