You know you're really Irish when...

[Gossipyfishwife]

...you tell the barman to put the change in the poor box.

When the question 'is there anthin stirrin?' could be enough to send your heart sideways!

*anthin=anything

Really shouldn't read these threads, they always make me want to hop on the ferry.

When the question 'is there anthin stirrin?' could be enough to send your heart sideways!

*anthin=anything

Really shouldn't read these threads, they always make me want to hop on the ferry.

you have a 'hot press' and your granny makes 'bread soda'

(disclaimer am only london irish)

My dad called anyone he thought was mad 'a header' (rolled Wexford r' at the end for effect)

Dubliners were Jackeens and not to be trusted

he lived in London for thirty years and still called the Met Police 'the guards'. If we were naughty in public he'd say 'See that guard over there...I'll send ye away with him'

nothing better than an irish fry
soda farl
potato bread
rashers
sausages
eggs
beans
musshrooms

none of that black pudding/white pudding/toast malarkey!

The whole Irish thing seems a lifetime away to me now.

I am that rare thing, an anti-social Irishman

We used to be able to see the Galtee mountains from my grandparents house. I've not been back there for years. Most of the relations have died, and I don't know the younger ones so well.

There are no cross-roads, or quare fellows, or passing of yokes, or putting on of ganseys here.

I'm seized by a desire sometimes to take advantage of ludicrously low boarding school fees in Ireland, to send the children back 'home'.

Tres sad.

Innocuous statements which actually, on inspection, make no sense: "there's the pavement, gone" (heard this weekend) or (on road in Connemara, although have seen it elsewhere too) a permanent road sign that says "temporary road surface". I'm not irish, but have lived here for many years. The ability to make a criticism sound like a compliment. The fact that no statement is what you think it is...it can be very confusing for an outsider, but fascinating too. Oh, and in the end, everything comes down to land (particularly in the country)

He's a right blaggard!

A black mariah = police van

Vegetable roll and steak sausages from the butt-cherrs (NI)

Definitely 'messages' for the shopping

'Quare' laugh/day

plain or pan loaf

Will youse catch yerselves on !

I'll tell you my Irish story.........
First holiday with my late dh was a driving holiday in Southern Island six months after we met. We came off the ferry in Rosslare and found a huge Edwardian house B&B with vacancies. The lady took us to our room and dh decided to have a shower......... :-
DH......... Sigh
Me.........What's wrong?
DH.........This shower is taking a long time to warm up.
Me.........For goodness sake its a huge house let the water come through......
DH............ I'll have a shave then.
DH............Sigh
Me.............What now?
DH.............There's hot water coming out of the sink but not out of the shower.
Me............I'll go and find the landlady.
I went downstairs.
Me.............Knocks on door
Landlady comes out.
Me......Explains about the water.........
Landlady.........(In broad SI accent) Oh to be sure, if you want hot water out of that shower you have to turn the dial to cold!!!!
TRUE TRUE TRUE STORY!
Also two days later driving to Dingle we saw loads of signs saying "Major road works slow down!!" We eventually got to the roadworks to find one man digging a hole and another man directing traffic with a tree branch!!!

If my Mum wanted me to hide something

She'd hand it to me and say, "Here - plank that"

Not sure how to spell it, but plimausers. Or as the verb, to plimorse.

Holy Mary Mother of God, I have made a heims of that spelling.

Guaranteed Irish copy books.

The Angelus.

The tv being on for a ridiculously small amount of time compared to London tv.

The amazing, and still exactly the same, shops in Knock.

Oh, and I checked with my parents and knacker can be anyone, not limited to members of the travelling community.However, as I regard it as a quite bad word, it took me a long time to get the words out between convulsive laughter when I asked them about it on holiday once.

Is it plamass? Or llamas as my iPad is trying to autocorrect to

Don't pretend to your father when he gets home about the hole in the door. Where pretend means reveal in uk english.

Only realised that this was an irishism when I read about it in a book by John Walsh.

This thread makes me ache for the Ireland of my summer holidays. My parents cannot return there now, it's gone.

plámás - superficial charm/flattery.

Messages. Are they buying San-pro or not?

I need to know.

These would be pads btw because tampons take your virginity.

Plamas and plamasers (pron PlawMAWS' and PlawMAUSers), Whiteshoes, only I can't do the fadas on both as on my iPad!

Lottie, I'm sure you mean well, but surely you can grasp the difference between a bunch of Irish people reminiscing about random things from their childhoods, and you telling the kind of Paddy Irishman story I, for one, have been subjected to a few too many times?

Well that's me put well and truly in my place!!!
Thanks for that!

Well said Pigeon I was thinking that myself.

What about "he's an awful lick-arse" or is that multinational?

"Would I, Mam?" = I've done it.

Your one is a 'pain the hole'. I stopped the conversation in a room in the UK with that one but it is a perfectly reasonable insult in Ireland.

Lottie there is simply no way an Irish person said to be sure to you...... It never happened unless it was Nicole Kidman in her next movie.

its not even funny lottiejenkins its just annoying