You know you're really Irish when...

[Gossipyfishwife]

...you tell the barman to put the change in the poor box.

Irish people will always try and find people in common.I live in Donegal,entire conversations are spent discussing do you know paddy Mary whose mother ran the shop.

six weeks of summer holidays seems very cruel to me.

And when piecing together who is who, you need to know who the women were before they were married.

You know Mary. Mary Kelly. You do know her, she was Smith to her own name.

Noo Quinteszilla a genuine article Irish bod marks St. Patrick's day by going to mass! None of the faux greenery.

Shamrock excepted.

I remember my mum recovering from her hysterectomy back in the day.

Nora came from across the road with holy water swearing blind it would help her recover.

Delighted to hear the denizens of D4 also said Santy.

'There's ateing and drinking in that'. Said of a pint or occasionally of soup.

Your mammy being mortified when you wouldn't take the Pioneer pledge along with the rest of your confirmation class.

You didn't shoplift, you went fecking stuff from shops with your friends while mitching/on the hop/on the lang.

Brought and take: I brought the child (and it's always the child rather than DC's name) to school, but I take a drink every now and again.

Tagging on 'now' or 'so' for ending sentences.

''Tis a grand soft day out there now' makes perfect sense, as do 'For the day that's in it',' I'm not in the form for that now'and 'Ara, sure there's no loss on me now'.

Always warn your DC' Don't be bold or Santy won't come' when it's coming up to Christmas.
Bye for now!

Maybe they are just quasi Irish. Or London Irish.

'I've a head on me like Oliver Plunkett'

Aka 'I have a hangover.'

Google Oliver Plunketts head for clarification.

'Whats the story?' Instead of 'hi'

And from me Da. 'Howld yer whist'. Shut up, I'm talking.

Im not irish
We had someone from national grid come over to fix neighbours gas and he came to check ours and put gas back on
he found a gas leak
serviced both fires
cleaned his mess
and had a nice chat to us about how he could relate to being the target. He was talking about how hard it was and what he went through when he was younger in yhe 70s kinda thing about how everyone hated the irish. We are muslims and understand how it feels. He was just so nice and it was really nice of him to have helped so much.
Just want to say thanks your lovely

flat coke cures anything.

you never had to revise for exams as your granny said a prayer & lit a candle for you.

you constantly say FECK-my bad

Yes, and on St Patrick's Day you sing the doleful 'Dochas Linn Naomh Padraig' or 'Hail Glorious St Patrick', and children wear little green white and gold rosettes on their lapels. And proper St Patrick's Day parades are just a few lorries full of waterlogged junior hurlers and blue-legged majorettes. And some local in a mitre and cotton wool beard throwing chewing gum. And it's always sleeting...

(This thread is making me homesick. I'm going to phone my mammy and ask if anyone one interesting has died.)

(From the north)
Crisp butties are a legitimate meal
Anyone who goes to Liverpool for a few days is not there for a city break
Howl on!
Keep dick
Scundered.
Boke!
Looking at visiting cars from Down South's licence plate to see how old their car is
It's not 'mammy', it's 'mummy, or ummy' or 'ummae'

my grandfather would continuously say
'I know surely, I know'....
a simple 'ok, yes' would have sufficed- he was a cavan man himself.

What does "going to Liverpool" mean EvenBetter?

HORSE IT INTO YE CYNTHIA FER YER THE GIRL FER ME
YER THE FINEST LUKIN FILLY THAT I DID EVER SEE
YER THE ONIONS IN ME BURGER
YER THE SUGAR IN ME TEA
SO HORSE IT INTO YE CYNTHIA FER YER THE GIRL FER ME

You spent your summers at the Gaeltacht.

No one in England understands you when you say the letter r even worse when it is in your postcode.
Your parents go to every funeral for anyone they might remotely know of.
You Know that no means yes especially when offering others cups of tea. Get that wrong at your peril.
You rarely get straight to the point and tend to say the opposite to what you mean. This really used to confuse my husband especially as English is not his first language.

Im Irish and these are so true.You dont even realise you are saying half of them.And saying thanks to the driver of the bus is just manners really.

Going to Liverpool = travelling for an abortion

EVENBETTER- North as well ;)
so true with number plates, or guess the county

Glad you said that Hatice I thought I had developed a speech impediment for a while. I made sure there was no "R" in DC's name as I hate to spell the letter out.

Never realised that Janine

aw shite janine im going to liverpool soon-hope no one assumes

Being sent to the shop to buy a white pan, rashers and some pudding, left me a little puzzled on my first of many trips to see dh's extended family in Co limerick.
that and only understanding about 25% of what was said to me. It's taken 20 years but I am now fluent and find my self nodding at most of these.