Phone monitoring

[notgoodatthis2]

Name changed for this post.

My dh seems to know if I have been contacted on my mobile by a certain number. I think I am being surveyed by a 3rd party but am u sure whether it is only traceable at home.

I did think about WhatsApp calling or my 2nd idea was to purchase a cheap PAYg phone with a new number. Are there any handsets where the phone does not have to be regularly topped up and can be kept for emergencies and credit does not run out.

I just want another number to be contacted on.

Thanks

Oops - what is VOS ?
Auto correct - grrr !

A recording device, looks like a memory stick.

It's all kicked off again.

It transpired it was not just OMs calls he listened too. He admitted listening to me speaking to dm which was bad. Feeling very low as I have tried hard over the years' and he has been abusive at times.

He went on and on at me last night

OP Did you take Cobwebsinthebelfry's advice and get real life support ?
Bumping for you.

Thanks

Yes I will be seeking advice.

Apparently the iCloud is fallible if you both have iPhones.

I was advised to log out on settings and ,make another account but couldn't seem to do this

I am absolutely horrified at this level of stalking, and it seems to have been so easy for him!!! Spying, listening, watching, tracking..this is extreme..are you OK OP?

It was a massive risk to cheat on such a character, I mean danger to yourself from him.

I have had similar, but I would never have known about all these methods of tracking, but I did shutdown the apple one with apple support who were great. Also found what look like memory stick given to DC, how would you know it was a vos?

Hope you are OK

Sadly it's not a thing you can switch on and off, this abuse, its an 'own' you thing, its permanent, hence his apparent 'right' to stalk you

Things are better. I cut off OM though I really miss him. DH is a lot calmer and I am open with him.

We had a family event recently and things seemed to improve as he probably realised what he could lose if we split up.

I'm thankful to be given another chance as I never should have cheated but in some ways I think I have learned from it and it is more apparent that the way my dh is at times is not normal

OP your minimising his behaviour!!!

This is NOT normal at all OP. I know you don't you are not recognising this at the moment, but women who have has less stalking husband that has killed them, and they weren't scared of him!

Can this vos be used as a memory stick and how do you know its a vos and not just a memory stick?

He's showing some signs that are serious flags as far as leading to dangerous behaviours is concerned. These are recognized by authorities as part of a criminal profile, a perpetrator of domestic abuse, and a dangourius one. No matter how you appease him.

Please be ok

Definitely a VOS. A relative tried it out for me and has kept it.

If you think about it people hire private detectives to check on their spouses

He didn't want me to go off with the OM and I'm glad I didn't.

Yes he does have issues

I am worried for myself over this VOS so how did relative know?

What will do, about living with your abuser? Please don't blame yourself for this, or for seeing someone else, living with someone who is so extremely controlling has long term damaging effects on your sanity and alters your thinking of what's OK and what's not, and generally instills an over-inflated sense of loyalty/sympathy to him. You clearly didn't want to see OM hurt and wanted to try to explain to him, and realised the huge difference between the ways you were being treated by dh/om.

Yes, easy to get private detectives, easy to spy, loads of spying software, and you now know this.

If you phone paladin, or the Suzy lamplugh organisation, or the national stalking helpline, they can tell you the implications (dangerous/violent) of his controlling/stalking behaviour. This was not because you cheated. How comfortable would you feel installing stuff on his phone, listening to his calls, watching him going about it private life unaware he was being spied on?

It's all confidential, so no-one will know, bit you will learn the facts that you need to be armed with about who he really is. No family would want you to be trapped in this relationship, not family that's worth anything anyway!

Inform yourself. Call WA
I hope you are OK, do keep posting so you can work through this for yourself

Thanks, things are still very difficult and I think he wants to leave me or tells me to go to OM even though I've stopped all contact.

he say its all my fault he goes on and on about the om & can't come to terms with what I did.

He's always been difficult and even my own children understand what he can be.