garden trends you wouldn't want in your own garden?

[DaringAquaViewer]

a fruit plant

Good, I thought so!

Does it really matter? Do you get to wear a special badge or something?
I like my outdoor space to suit my needs and look good - that takes furniture and plants, I plan my garden to work in the way I need it to. Dh is worried I might become a gardener!😂

Decking = rats lot and lots of rats!

I don't think my point is all that weird. It's the mentality that keeps you actually planting and improving the environment. It's why you don't see Monty Don giving you advice about furnishings and that he talks about plants! Or why people hopelessly buy plants that don't quite fit or feel slightly pleased if something died and you have a new space: is that just me? I don't think so.

I think I understand what @bombastix is saying. If you have a tiny garden and you don’t have room for both the seating you want and the planting you want, do you compromise on seating or planting (or both)?

I’d see another divide among gardeners - those for whom design is important, and who choose plants to execute their design (people who ask on here for suggestions for a climber to go over their pergola) and those who start by knowing which plants they want to grow and for whom design is secondary. Most of us fall into the second group when we grow vegetables.

What would I ban from my garden? Wood pigeons. Collared doves can stay, they’re no problem. But get rid of all the wood pigeons.

Gnomes
Hot tub

Pigeons aren't so much a trend as an infestation.

Monty don gives lots of advice on patios, just google 😂

Here is one of many

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/gardening/article-5625567/Monty-Don-shows-create-idyllic-outdoor-room-search-Britains-finest-patio.html

I agree with grey plastic furniture, but have you tried finding comfy outdoor sofas in other colours (care home beige is even worse imho)?

Confession time.
We have fake grass at the front (I can see you all throwing up your hands in horror).
The front garden was half concrete and half rubble, so initially we turfed the unconcreted area, but it's south facing and very dry so every year it died.
When we could afford it we had the concreted part dug up and a resin drive laid, but couldn't afford to do it all. Hence the plastic grass.
Not a huge fan, but it's ok for now. The real life weeds that still poke through give it a more authentic air, so I tend to leave a few.

I think lots of these are just differing tastes, though it can feel like judgement.

e.g. I am not a fan of tropical gardens because I just am not keen on the general shape of tropical plants and the atmosphere they create. But that's just my choice. Those that love a tropical garden, clearly do like it.

But things I find trigger the old judgey pants in me are

1. Outside TVs. The neighbours over the back have one to watch sports on. They're the ones with the murderous cat for those who've heard me moan about it a few times on here over the last week 😁
2. Fake grass. Particularly in the case of locally where I've noticed perfectly OK front lawns replaced with it.

Artificial grass
Too much paving
Pond (safety with the kids in mind)
Bamboo (we inherited some in our garden - so hard to get rid of!)
Moles!! 🤣

I read this. There was a notable absence of information on sofas, and it was mostly about enhancing the beauty of the plants. Monty Don is a gardener, because he is plants first and then enjoying the space. But if you can find me an article where the other way around, where he talks about hard landscaping and then plants, I'll climb down.

It’s really not; but no of course he isn’t going to be recommending sofas. 😂

They weren’t around* 15 years ago, ergo trend

*in such numbers.

I bought a house with a gravel garden. I don't like it and wish I could change it, but it's at the front and the amount of work involved is beyond me. Besides, it fits in with the cottage next door (we share a pathway, so huge differences would look odd), but I am not a huge fan of it. It looks a bit like the overspill of a railway shunting yard, even though I've tried to soften it with sedums and sempervivums and a lovely rockery.

If pigeons are allowed, then yes. Buggers shit everywhere, fly into windows on a weekly basis and are constantly shagging on the roof, which gives DH ideas.
And those whirly things on sticks you're supposed to stick in the ground. People will insist on giving them as Christmas presents, so you have to put them out for at least a while. They never stand upright and look naff as hell.

I would have said this too and wasn’t impressed with new neighbours one and then they got more including things that sound like wind blowing through a tube and actually it’s really lovely. I haven’t got any but it’s very relaxing listening to theirs.

I’m going to get my head shot off, but I’m sticking it above the parapet anyway. Imho the problem with fake rattan sofas isn’t the way they look. In fact I rather like them. The problem is that after a few years exposed to sunlight the plastic will start to degrade. It will fade, and weaken and then split. The underlying metal frame will start to rust. The whole thing them becomes a giant lump of landfill as it can’t be repaired. The plastic doesn’t degrade and it won’t be recyclable.
Wooden furniture may also start to look tatty and become wobbly but it can be repaired or will rot down eventually.
So its environmental rather than aesthetic reasons that have meant I’ve not bought any- though I do love the thought of lounging on a lovely soft outside settee.

What whirly things?

"A patio is as much part of a living space as any interior room" says Monty Don! 😂

How times have changed - I bet if Monty Don wrote that article now - only 6 years later it would be all about recycling, net zero, wrapping up rather than firepits, biodiversity, wild-life pollinators, ponds for the wild-life, up lighters would be out too as bad for the nocturnal wild-life, as are the solar lights that stay on for too long - there is definitely a trend towards an increasing amount of preachiness amongst gardeners.
And what's with the putting a candle inside a paper bag weighed down with sand - that sounds like a recipe for disaster - how would you even light it?

Monty don even shows us how to lay a patio in gardeners world. He’s many many articles about patios and outdoor living and some spectacular areas at his home

as well as showing us him creating his new outdoor eating area. Maybe he will just lay blankets on it and have a picnic since gardeners don’t have furniture,,,

Frogs?

I love 'em. Well their legs, anyway. 🍽