DH did this

[Whyohwhyjustwhy]

Leaving aside what on earth he was thinking, which is part of a bigger problem, do you agree that this looks absolutely awful?
Does the tree have any chance of growing back into any reasonable shape from this sloping flat top? My feeling is that it's ruined.

Can you not just remove it and not replace it with a tree?

DH doesn’t do “little and often”!
The tree isn’t actually that big, is a decent distance from the house and fitted quite nicely in that corner.
I’ll definitely have it out, but DH genuinely doesn’t understand why I’m not happy.

Looks awful, but my guess is the branches at the sides will grow to cover it in no time.

I'd still replace it with something nicer if I were you. Just about anything would be nicer too...I'd put in a small tree myself, either something native and good for wildlife like a rowan or an amelanchier, or something a bit fancier like a magnolia stellata.

DH offered to help me with my magnolia, which had a couple of inconvenient branches casting shade where I didn't want it. I carefully planned exactly which one of the two forked branches need to be cut off, tied a string round the one to be cut, stood at the bottom of the stepladder and said "the one with the string needs to come off where the string is".

Gentle reader, we are still married, but it was a close run thing.

Hawthorn is my go to, but Amelanchier if you want something wispy or a magnolia for something more solid.

Yep he's ruined it! Show him this, also conifers should only be cut when dormant so he's also left it open to disease. Also if you plant something else hide the keys to the shed so he can't do it again.

I have hawthorns in the back garden, including some in a lovely mixed shrub border of native shrubs that I planted. DH almost ruined the shrub border too last year by giving everything a flat top and sides, like a privet hedge, but so far has remembered not to touch it this year.
TBH I don’t want to replace that tree with anything that needs cutting back or pruning. He just can’t keep himself away from them.

It may grow a ring from the green at the top but the bare front won't really recover, as people have said.
In the long run it'll be a good thing, as you might have left this tree for longer whereas now you can insist he organises its removal and you can get something nicer.
Also sounds like you need a lockable cupboard for loppers, pruning saws etc, or maybe a shed for all tools?

Oh lawks! I didn't click the photo to see the whole thing at first and couldnt really see the problem but when I did...

Well.

Big Wooly hat?

Conifers are hideous anyway, of very limited wildlife value and starve the soil of nutrient and water - begone with it!

If you fancy something evergreen may I suggest Photinia, a Choiysa or a Camellia, all of which can be shaped, (if pruned correctly!)

Otherwise, how about Halesia ( Snowdrop Tree), Cornus kousa, Cercis (Judas Tree), Davidia involucrata (Pocket Handkerchief Tree) or Cornus mas for something a little different?

Maybe Photenia Red Robin grown as a shrub/hedge. It seems to be very tolerant of anything and it's quite attractive.

Genuinely can't believe no one has said LTB!? 🤷

Maybe his urge to 'prune' needs a more useful outlet? Volunteering at a local nature reserve where there's a need to hack back brambles, invasive rhododendrons, bash balsam etc may channel his energy more usefully.

I fear that that would only enthuse him even more to “prune” at home!

If you don’t want a hawthorn maybe try a Euonymus. I have it, grown as a hedge and it’s nice as well as wildlife friendly. You could always try a silver birch too. The roots won’t interfere with the wall and they are beautiful to look at.

😂😂

Believe me, I’ve come close…..
this is just the latest episode. There has been the flat-topping of my lovely natural native shrub border, other “pruned” shrubs that look dreadful, “weeding” i.e. pulling up the flowering plants I lovingly grew from seed, the near-massacre of all the tomato plants in the greenhouse, wildflowers that I specifically asked him not to pull up being pulled up. The one that really made me cry was the shrub border, because the whole idea was that it was meant to look natural and be a wildlife haven. It does look better now but I never know when he’s going to go off on another chopping spree.

Thank you everyone for the empathy and sorry to everyone who has been triggered because they’ve gone through similar!

I will definitely cut it down, and yes it’s an opportunity to replace it with something nice, though I really don’t want to plant and nurture something else that he’ll ruin. I just hate killing living trees, and I’ve enjoyed watching the birds flitting around in that one for all these years. DH is grumpy because he honestly thinks it looks fine.

I was going to say I used to be under the impression they don’t grow back. However, there’s a front garden near us where they have spent forever looking at twigs because they cut the neighbours conifers back where they had gone over the boundary. We’ve lived here 7+ years and I finally saw some green starting to grow on them a couple of weeks ago.

You have my sympathy op. My DH also likes the ‘shrubs cut square with flat tops’ look. After he ruined the garden the first year I have banned him from touching the hedge trimmers again.

Pompom viburnum? Get lovely flowers in late spring

https://www.yougarden.com/item-p-510895/snowball-tree-viburnum-opulus-roseum?source=YGGGPM1101&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvNytjcK-gAMVjMbtCh0OvwGnEAQYBSABEgL3h_D_BwE

Could you dig out the tree and plant your husband there instead?

@Watchkeys 🤣

DH destroyed all our screening in the front corner our private garden was no longer private

Going to be a 3 year plan to restore.

I was utterly livid and even the neighbours knew we weren't talking over it.

Urrrgh horrible things and it's bare and ugly on the side anyway - I think he did you a favour! I cut several down in ours. The top will grow back though I'm sure, those bastard things are unkillable. But I'd see this as an opportunity to get rid of it and plant something nicer. Choose something native preferably.

Hum, well I think that the worst thing my DH has done in the garden was planting one of those, it gets terrible viburnum beetle, think that's what it is, makes a right mess and I end up having to butcher it. Ruddy thing regrows.

@TwitTwont How did you stop him though? I tell him every time and he forgets. And he never tells me what he’s going to do.

@Watchkeys One more of these “incidents” and that will probably happen. I’ll post a photo.

@RandomMess did he say why he did it?!

@itsmyp4rty I am a big fan of native plants and my back garden is full of them!
This conifer was inherited when we bought the house. The side didn’t look that bad until this year when a tall plant beside it died. I am going to get rid of it now and said so to DH, but he doesn’t get it at all and thinks I’m overreacting.

Can you get a man with a clever man brain to tell your DH to stay the fuck out of the garden.

@Whyohwhyjustwhy because he was fed up of needing to trim it regularly so get in and out the car without it attacking him.

Basically being LAZY, he also has no interest in ever sitting in the garden which the rest of us were it nicer and private