Oh gawd I have never been in this section before - come and help me do a garden makeover don't chase me out with your pitchforks PLEASE

[FrannyandZooey]

We have a little garden - about 12 foot of grass (am guessing here, not very good at measurements) surrounded by a few foot of patio and path, with one corner of a couple of foot of earth, in which there are a few bushes (have no idea what they are).

It always looks messy as we are lazy and not gardeners. When we moved in I tried to plant a few sunflowers but nothing ever came up. The soil seems to be full of stones and I mean FULL of stones.

What I would like to do is use it for ds to play in / work in more - get rid of the bushes and get a patch of earth where he can just dig and muck about, and also some space where he can plant things - flowers, or preferably stuff we can eat as well.

Can you advise me on, well, anything? I know NOTHING about gardening and I am semi-phobic about slugs and spiders so can't handle growing a load of lettuces to see them covered in creatures. Will we need to do something about the soil? Is 2 foot by about 7 or 8 foot (going round a corner) enough room to do anything with a 3 year old or will we have to sacrifice some of the grass?

PLus we are still planning to convert a corner of the patio to a sandpit so any advice on that welcome.

Anything else that would be fun / useful for a small child to do in a garden? I don't care what it looks like as long as it is being USED (at present it is neither a smart garden nor a fun family garden IYSWIM)

We are clueless but willing....well, willing-ish

Strip all hte leaves off the bushes
Paint bright blue

voila

Um, I know nothing about gardens either, but am having mine re-landscaped as we speak, so have been picking up bits and bobs by eavesdropping on the experts.

Firstly, if your lawn is only 12 foot, it's probably not worth having, it may be better to put down some bark which your kids can muck about in but without getting absolutely filthy.

Is there any way you could grow things up fences/walls, so you have something to look at without sacrificing any space?

How about putting in a little water feature, maybe one of those ones which are basically just water falling over stones?

As for growing veg, to be honest I suspect they're more bother than they're worth if you're thinking about putting them in the ground, but you can grow ornamental cabbages in pots which look really pretty, and if you want to eat veg, you could get your kids to grow carrots in pots, which is dead easy. You could also grow sweet peas and runner beans up bamboo canes, which again will take up minimal space.

No I like the grass, it's pretty and it feels nice to sit on

There is a shed and a fence next to the flower bed bit, so growing things upwards is a possibility

I need very very clear and idiot proof instructions

Well I'm not much of a gardener either, but I do like to grow herbs. They like poor soil and you can pick up a whole selection of them at the garden centre/supermarket. It is really nice in the summer coz you can make potato salad with your own chopped chives for example. Or mint leaves for your Pimms and basil to go in your pasta sauce, rosemary grows well and is lovely on chicken or lamb and thyme is nice sprinkled on your roastie potatoes. So I would suggest you set aside a space as your herb garden. You won't be disappointed as they are dead easy. Good luck!

I would say that space would probably be ideal for what you want to do. Maybe plant sunflowers into pots and then transplant the seedlings into the ground. Also work the ground a bit. I agree that herbs are a good idea and easy to grow, as are strawberries.

Ooh, that's a good idea. Keep them coming, please

I want to have a master plan to show dp as he knows nothing about this

Sorry bozza cross posts

"work the ground a bit"?? Do what?

Dig out a few stones and stick some compost in. My personal lazy option would be just to do the bits you are planting in as you go along rather than doing a major initial dig.

Do you reckon? Not just blitz it all and let ds dig like mad for a few weeks before doing anything major?

There is only a few feet in total

oh and how do we get the bushes out? Can we give them to someone else? I feel a bit cruel but they are just sitting there and we just ignore them and then decapitate them every winter

can you post a pic of it (taken hanging out of a bedroom window or something), so people can get an idea for the shape and the space ?

I agree that you will need to condition the soil a bit first, dig it over, remove as many stones as you can (but a few small gritty stones are good for drainage) and work well rotted manure or other soil conditioner into the ground. The better the base, the easier you'll find it is is to grow what you want to grow

Yes good idea NDP

will do it later (no batteries in camera right now)

I have one of those blue and yellow 'garden claw' thingys and it is FAB. Much easier to turn the ground over, more ergonomic than a normal garden fork.

The Claw

It wasn't massively expensive and is still doing a sterling job in it's 4th year.

Gosh that looks quite exciting

Ho about letting him do a small rockery at one end? You just need patch of earth, some big stones (doesn't matter what kind, misshapen preferably), then you can plant alpine plants/herbs/ornamental grasses/whatever. You can then let him decorate it with shells/little animals, depends how silly you want it, we have a couple of miniature gnomes

I had a tiny rockery at one of the houses we lived in when I was little, I was always rearranging it and putting little bits of quartz/shells/odd stones from the beach. And it had alpines and heathers, each plant had a Christian name and I used to talk to them

"we have a couple of miniature gnomes"

now why doesn't that surprise me

I do like that idea Greeny, but this is all sounding like a lot of work all of a sudden

If you found a recipient for your bushes you could indeed give them to someone else. Probably best to find someone first before digging them up. And you would dig them up using either a spade or a fork. Although your DS would have great fun, I am not sure how far he would get at working the soil, especially if it is stony.

It really isn't though, you don't need to do anything, just choose a corner of the pawn, dig little holes deep enough to insert a few alpines/heathers/grasses, then chuck the stones in between, it should look a bit higgledy piggledy, and then he can arrange it and build on it and chuck fossils and shells and bits of crap on it (mine save pine cones and god knows what)

Or get a decrepit old wheelbarrow/tub, fill it with mud/compost and make the rockery in there. You can get little Alpine strawberry plants that will grow on a rockery (I am germinating some seeds at the moment, I could send you a little plant when they're ready)

Yes, I sort of meant let him just muck about and have a mud fest before we actually plant stuff

he does like digging, I want to leave a patch that is ok for him just to dig in

how can I demarcate that part?

lawn, not pawn

have just got back from A&E with ds2, am not typing very well

Yes but Greeny little fiddly arty farty delicate thingies are your cup of tea but I can't be doing with all that

I am the grand gesture and then leave it alone for 2 years type of person

stick a few bamboo canes in and tie string to them, like a fence, that's how we "demarcate" new beds etc

A+E - WTF? what happened???

No pain, no gain

???