Year 12 - 2025/2026: Support Thread 2

[QueenMabby]

A new thread for us to keep chatting on!

Placemarking. I can't remember even remember whether I joined this thread and it's been a long time.

I'm in north London - my sons both went to the very local secondary school, which is 11-16 like many schools in this area. DS1 is now at university studying Maths, if anyone's DC is looking to find out about that kind of thing, after doing A levels at a school sixth form which recruits a lot of external students.

DS2 is the one in year 12, and he has been very unhappy on his course in Music Performance from the beginning. I think he didn't realise how demanding it would be in terms of getting on well with other students, because it involves playing in bands etc and working with classmates to put on performances, not just doing your own thing. He also didn't expect the amount of written work, and thought it would be more about playing music. At the moment he doesn't even want to play his instrument.

After weeks of complicated discussions between DP, DS2 and me, phone calls and emails from college and other referrals (and I actually would like more referrals if possible - preferably before he turns 18 in February as I'm frightened that he will fall through the system, but I hate the discussions that I have to put myself and my son through to get there.

He now says he wants to start year 12 again, doing A levels in academic subjects, not Music, at another college - we've identified a likely place to apply and are narrowing down the choices to 3 subjects. DP has gone to speak to them and been advised that DS2 should apply now - they will be taking enrolments from others who also need to start again now, and then from students who've just got their results in August.

But it's very stressful and we are part of a whole extended family dealing with some difficult losses and an older generation with health needs.

I will try to catch up on the thread at some point. I am wondering if others have children who need to make a new start in September for whatever reason, or who even who need more time out - I hope things will get better now but I have family experience of young people in my generation and DS2's who really struggled at this stage.

Welcome @elkiedee or hello again if you have been here previously. I think it’s very mature of your DS to say that it’s not working for him and he wants to start again. Good for him! Is he looking at A levels or BTechs? What subjects? You mentioned assessments is that for the new school or something entirely different? Sounds like you’ve got a lot on too. Always hard supporting them when we’ve a few spinning plates!

Happy to pm my experience.

It's more complicated than that, but it became clear that he was really struggling, that he didn't want to play, that he was finding some areas of work too difficult. Everyone sees Btec style courses as easy. I don't believe that's the case, but they are very different. But once DS2 convinced himself he couldn't do things, it went in a spiral. I don't know that it was the wrong course but I think it wasn't the right course or time.

His current plan is to apply to study for A levels, and see how it goes.

My cousin's niece has recently had an autism diagnosis at 20 and they have both already suggested, including to DS2, that he seeks help. It's not a total shock to me and I think it's part of him not coping. But I want any referrals and assessment to either happen before February next year, or if not, for things to be completed and transitioned rather than DS2 having to start processes all over again.

Thanks for support so far.

@elkiedee are yes moving from child to adult services halfway through assessments / diagnoses etc is definitely not ideal. I’m guessing you’ve already started the process with children’s services, but if not, quite a few adult services accept 17 olds for this very reason. Hope it goes well!

Hi everyone and welcome @elkiedee. I think your ds is being incredibly mature and brave to speak out about his course not being where he sees his future. I hope he can get a fresh start is September with something more appropriate. He won’t be the only one!

No leadership role for dd despite four interviews over two days! She was disappointed over not getting “picked” but also relieved. It’s a big time commitment and dd does not have much of that!

Her exam results were good though which helped ease the week along and she’s thick in rehearsals for a musical which is keeping her very occupied.

We’re off to Bath open day tomorrow. Anyone else?

hello I may be late to the debate but just seen on BBC News there will be a one-off programme to vaccinate for Men B but the way I have read it, it will miss out current Year 12s'? Is that others' understanding? Maybe its catch up then hopefully a programme for all kids thereafter?

I paid for my 19 year old, second jab coming up. I will assume I will need to pay for my Yr12 DS for now.

Yr 12 mock exam results out next week, to be used for UCAS - ugh regards the wait. Good Luck to all DC in this position. Ever hopeful, still time to regroup and turn things around as / if needed.

🤞

@ThisPerkySloth2yes I saw on bbc this morning that they will vaccinate current year 13’s and that is it. But I am not sure if they meant that is it full stop. Or they aren’t extending to other years but that they will do year 13’s each year. It wasn’t clear was it?

I just looked on Google. It says it is a one off so only current year 13 😕

Well that’s a bit crap! Ds didn’t have it before going off to uni but I’m considering getting it for him this summer. Dd too next year.

I don't know where else to put this and don't have many people to tell in real life, but DD2 has gained a place on a Cambridge college residential this summer and she is over the moon! It's for potential students in her preferred subject area, it will be for one night, but they said as she lives over 4 hours away, she's welcome to come the day before and stay the extra night. We're already looking into train tickets for her.

How exciting!! I hope she enjoys it

Fantatsic well done her.

My older two manage to get summer schools - not cambridge - but thoughly enjoyed them.

DD2 not had the same luck despite applying - DH in HE says many such programs are being cut entirely or scaled back - so competition even more fierce for places. So really well done.

@Poisoningpigeons thats brilliant - good luck to her

Re men B vaccine - it was school ages kids that got it in Berkshire so to limit a ‘ one off ‘ vaccine to those leaving school and off to uni is pretty disingenuous. I think very little of this cowardly government

@ThisPerkySloth2
RE MEN B -
DD2 was vaccinated privately in yr13 but I’m getting DD3 (yr12) done on Monday as she’s lots of parties, festivals etc lined up plus she’s decided she’ll have it (needle phobia) so I’m striking before she changes her mind! It’s not cheap but at least it’s convenient at Boots.

Bloody brilliant @Poisoningpigeons flipping well done to your DD. Hope she enjoys it!!

We’ve just spent the morning at Uni of Leeds open day - very damp, but otherwise good. DDs course looks very interesting and I think she’d enjoy Leeds - it’s AAA so let’s see what the AS results reveal in August.

@Poisoningpigeonsthat’s amazing news. Well done your dd! Is she intending to apply to Cambridge? What for?

We're off to Leeds tomorrow. DS seems more excited about getting a Wingstop for dinner than the open day itself!

I think DD would think that’s fair enough! Where else are you looking?

@NotDonna - feels like we're looking everywhere! Off to Sheffield next weekend, then a road trip to do Imperial, UCL, Warwick and Birmingham. Also got Manchester, Lancaster, Durham and Nottingham booked! He can't decide if he wants campus or city, so we're trying to get a taste of all the different 'styles' of uni that are good for his subject (maths).

@elkiedee good luck to your DC. I think it shows maturity to want to change course.

@Poisoningpigeons this is brilliant. Well done

@QueenMabby maybe a lucky escape. If it’s 4 interviews what could the actual workload be like

DC is part way through mocks and one subject is causing problems, which is not a surprise. I’m not sure when he gets predictions or if they will be enough to go for what is he has in mind. Just have to go step by step and keep options open. He has open days coming up at Surrey and Warwick. Will be good for him to get a feel for uni life. Will do a few more in the autumn.

Totally out of the blue he he has been diagnosed wirh a health condition which is chronic and can cause long term challenges although is often v manageable with the right treatment. That has eclipsed any worries I might have had about school. Life has its way with curve balls that’s for sure.

Can anyone tell me how I can find out about courses likely to be in clearing? I’m trying to figure out insurance offers v assuming something will come up in clearing.

@otherthoughtssareavailable
My DS1 chose Manchester over Warwick (contextual offer but not having to do an extra entrance test was more important than grades, and that was fairly obvious back then). Probably because his aunt and cousins are very nearby and so are more than 10 friends imported up north from our bit of north-east London! He was very disappointed to not be offered Oxford after making it to interviews, and he never heard from St Andrews, but Manchester, York and Warwick seemed keen that he consider them.

Choices at any stage and situation can be so overwhelming. Good luck to your DD and you.

Thanks everyone we are very proud of DD @QueenMabby Cambridge is her top choice so she's feeling extra chuffed.

I think the Leeds campus is lovely so that could be a shallow reason to put it on the list! Tomorrow we're going to Bristol open day, we also have Manchester, Durham and Cambridge booked.

@Poisoningpigeons

My dad worked at Leeds University before I was born, and my mum got a job there after he took a new post in Australia (bit drastic, long story!) So I'm from Leeds and so are my siblings from my parents' second marriages.

I hoped DS1 would look at Leeds but I think he was caught up in "which university is most prestigious for Maths?" and my knowledge of this is rather niche - which musicians have given up touring to work there? for example.

However, one of my sisters and I both went to Manchester and so did several cousins in my generation and the next one. My sister still lives and works in Greater Manchester and her kids go to school/college near his student flats. So while I tried to resist saying wouldn't it be cool if..., I'm very pleased that he's there and seeing his aunt and cousins often. I also had a big cousin who was at Leeds, it's a lovely connection if you can have it. And if not, I also found making friends with a couple of mature students off my course really helpful when I needed reminding there's a whole metropolis beyond the university. (For example, Stockport and Stockport's own suburbs as well as Studentland - and I come from Leeds Studentland, aka known as Bedsitland). Of course now in north London I live in an area quite popular with students as it's close enough to Zone 2 to pretend...

It’s my DD’s first choice too. She can’t make the open day as she’s off to the IBO but we’re going to go to the Colleges open day in September.