Year 12 - 2025/2026: Support Thread 2

[QueenMabby]

A new thread for us to keep chatting on!

Thank you for this @QueenMabby . I've been a bit absent on the other thread - had a quick scan & saw a fair bit of winter illness amongst the DD/DS☹️.
My mums been poorly again, work is a bit manic with lots of people off with flu etc.
Its was DDs Oxford entrance exam yesterday, I had meant to take the day off to drop her off & do something nice after - in any event I got the day mixed up - so she took herself off, as she always does no bother & when I finally xaught up with her last night, says it went well & shes just relieved its over.
I feel like i'm a rubbish mum, a rubbish daughter & a not very switched on employee at the moment.
Lovely to hear of more offers coming in for the kids (dd got Warwick & Bristol so thats a weight off!)
Had the last ever parents evening in the week - pangs🥹.
Good luck for anyone still with entrance exams & those waiting on offers.

@GirlsInGreen - lovely to have you here but this is year 12 and seems like your dd is year 13? Sounds like she’s a very organised girl and best of luck for her Oxbridge application!

Omg @QueenMabby I'm so sorry! I've barged in & posted on the wrong thread.
I may start day time drinking to see if it improves me😂.
Good luck to everyone here.

You’re more than welcome we just might not be very helpful! 🤣

Just checking in.

I’ve definitely seen one for yr13 - will try and find it

Thanks for the new thread @QueenMabby

Just back from Warwick open day, they did a very good session on the TMUA. Worked through examples and showed how to make short cuts.
The accommodation was interesting. Cheapest and most expensive halls next door to each other. Cheapest had just a sink in room, single bed, small room and kitchen shared by 18 only had one hob. Most expensive had double beds, en-suite in rooms twice the size. The kitchens were the same size but a bit naicer and only shared by 8. We will have to go for the half priced option but it bothered me slightly. Can’t put my finger on it but it feels a bit like segregation. In other universities the en-suite rooms were next door to non en-suite.

Thanks so much OP @QueenMabby

I saw a hob in a studio room at Uni of Herts halls last weekend!

We did the Warwick one the other week. Only went to the en-suite as we had run out of time! Kitchen between 8 only had one hob and one oven and it was £250 a week! At Lancaster ds had 8 in his flat last year. 2 hobs, 2 ovens, en-suite was £50 a week less.

Birmingham is our next one (next month) and dd is hopeful. She didn’t like Warwick as the biological sciences are done on a different campus which, while close, didn’t have much buzz about it.

we’ve also started the narrowing down of Cambridge colleges. I’m treating this like I used to outfit choices when dd was a toddler (she’s very indecisive) by giving her two to start with and just asking her to pick one. We’ll narrow it down that way!

Checking in..thanks for new thread..but wait..people are doing open days already?!

Morning! Currently on my sun bed in Turkey! 🇹🇷. At Bath the accommodation is done in blocks, each block has similar accommodation. DS has en-suite. Room is tiny though. Single bed, Glad he doesn’t have many things. £235 a week but includes some good credit. There are cheaper rooms, the cheapest being the shared rooms. DS has 10 per large kitchen, 2 of everything and a washing machine.
As for Cambridge college, do they offer all years accommodation, near subject labs, size, popularity, cost of rooms and just general feel?

Thanks for the new thread @QueenMabby!

We did our first university open day last weekend and are considering going to the Birmingham one next month,

DD1 is making me feel rather frustrated and I can't help suspecting she's trying to annoy me (have to suppress this main character syndrome tendency in myself!).

When we were looking at sixth forms, DD1 insisted she couldn't go to the same one DD2 wanted because "that one doesn't offer X subject that I simply must do because I adore it!" - and we were totally fine with DDs going to different colleges anyway, so we just said "Sure, no need to justify yourself ." DD1 is doing A-level maths, X subject and a "softish" science (i.e. not the traditional biology/physics/chemistry) - I tried questioning gently whether a traditional science might be more widely applicable for uni, so she checked various university admissions requirements and established that her A-levels are fine for doing X subject at all her target universities and she loves X subject and it's the only thing she wants to do. So fine, we let her get on with it.

Then we went to this university open day, DD1 chose all the talks/events, I just tagged along. Half the time looking at X subject department, half at X-related-science department. Afterwards, DD1 says she no longer wants to do X subject, she wants X-related-science. And lo and behold, half her target universities don't accept A-level X subject and "softish" science to get into X-related-science.

Cue upset and a huge dose of passive-aggressive "Tell me which universities YOU will allow me to go to, Mum" 🙄

@Poisoningpigeons- that’s a shame for your dd. At least she’s “only” limited her uni choices and not cut them all out. Harsh, but maybe a good learning experience? Can she still change a-levels or will she need to limit her uni applications to those that take her subjects?

@Elevenmillion- we are looking now because (a) dd is incredibly indecisive so will take all this time trying to work out what she wants to do (hasn’t even decided on degree subject yet) and (b) she has about 15 unis on her list. We won’t visit them all but can knock a couple off early.

My DD announced she couldn’t possible go to Bath as DS was there! However her first year, he’ll be on a placement year so she can establish herself. We accidentally went to visit him the day of the open day so she said she liked campus unis, and has has a rough idea of subject. However I tell her to get off tik tok and spend a few mins a day looking at courses she might like and what the modules are at different unis. I think she might need more steering that DS. He BF is looking at Durham etc so hoping she gets caught up in his enthusiasm. By this stage my DS had decided subject and put himself on the Oxbridge pathway so he was already in the group of clever people discussing options.

Thanks.. my dd doesn't have a clue either about subject or which Uni !

@QueenMabby Hah, there is no way DD1 will want to change her A-levels because it would mean admitting Mum had a point Her current approach seems to be a sort of sour grapes thing, whereby she doesn't (and never did) want those particular target universities in the first place.

@Elevenmillion - my dd wants to do biochemistry, biomedical sciences or biotechnology. I think! Her experience at Warwick did at least scratch straight chemistry off her list - she really only likes the organic.

@Poisoningpigeons- heaven forbid your dd might have to acknowledge you were right! Stubborn isn’t in it! My dd is very similar - but the so was I. In my youth it was called “cutting off your nose to spite your face” and it led me to stick to my first choice uni even through I ended up with higher then expected A level grades which meant I could have gone to a better one. It did impact my job prospects but at the time was too stubborn to take adult advice!

I did suggest a visit to the local (ish) University for ideas......that was met with derision!

@QueenMabby my dd is doing biology chemistry and psychology so probably similar to your dd

DD2 is keen to consider Durham, but has Bath as her fairly firm top choice at the moment. I grew up in Bath, and my Dad still lives there (although he has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, so I'm in the process of trying to get him to move down to me in Devon). Bath is only about 2 hours from us, whereas Durham is 6 hours, DD2 and I are really close and I'm not sure how she'd cope with not being able to pop home for a weekend if she felt the need.

DD1 has been at Cardiff for 7 weeks now, and we've already seen her twice (at her insistence!) We popped up for the day 2 weeks in, then she came home for a couple of days last weekend, and will be back for reading week, the week after next.

We're happy for DD2 to go to whichever uni she wants to go to, but being able to see DD1 so regularly is making DD2 have second thoughts about anything north of the M4, and has struck Edinburgh firmly off the list!

@labradorservant great to see you all getting on with Open Days. We are feeling behind! My nephew, also in Year 12, has already been to five. DD2 has basically narrowed to four desired unis and two conservatoires, though. All unis likely to have high grade requirements, which is a worry.

I am pushing for a less 'top' conservatoire as I'd like a back up, but teacher (and DD2) says no need. Apparently most conservatoire offers are two Es but you have to play like an angel...

We have been in Swansea seeing DD1 at uni. There, all accomm is 'segregated' in that it is the same in each block - and if you are a long-stay student because you are healthcare you don't actually get any choice - they allocate one block to this each year. But dd1 has lucked out, she has an ensuite, a large kitchen between 8 and it's very reasonable. She's also on the top floor - two flats of eight, so no-one is passing through and they basically treat the whole floor like one big, sociable flat.

@Poisoningpigeons - how stressful! Loving the 'it's all your fault mum' reaction - all too relatable. Hope it sorts itself out somehow ...

Just for balance DS has done nothing about uni choice or degree choice - I’ve quietly done some research so I’m ready when he wakes up to the need 😂

Ds2 took me driving for the first time today , we went to Aldi, Tesco, banked his birthday cheques x2, and Sainsbury's. He's a nice little driver.
Like others he's tired I think. Meeting up to play football, no parties I've heard of.
We talked about uni, but he's not sure, but I think he's unrealistic about these dream apprenticeships.
Looking forward to my mn meet up tomorrow.

@waitingquietly nor has my DS and is unlikely to until school forces him which I think they will. Isn't getting involved in any of the extra stuff about careers.

I am planning to do some quiet research myself too in readiness.

DS is still keen on architectural engineering. That helps.