Year 13 -2025/26 - Support, discussion and looking after each other (new thread from y12)

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Hello
I have started a new thread following on from this one
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/further_education/5340007-year-12-202425-support-discussion-and-looking-after-each-other-thread-2?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

@temperedolive I think this is difficult because the Oxbridge application process is so intense with so many steps. They become invested in college choices and have put so much effort in. It’s not long now in the grand scheme of things until they will know one way or the other. If it’s a rejection then I guess that is the time to move on and get excited about the other options at offer holder days etc.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn I think it is really hard sitting alongside our YP and watching and not having an awful lot of control over what decisions they make. I know my DD will listen to my advice then do whatever she wants instead and I have had to bit my tongue numerous time in recent months. Sorry I can't advise at all on chem but hope your DS finds the energy to get his PS done, are there any kind teachers at his school who understand him well? I know DD has a bond with her bio teacher and can go to her with any issues, not just bio which can sometimes help focus them.

@temperedolive It is a shame they can't celebrate achievements if other thoughts are taking priority but I suppose it is understandable with an ongoing oxbridge app. DD is quietly waiting to hear about any med interviews which could take weeks/months still so I am trying not to talk too much about it with her as I can sense the underlying stress of not knowing for her. No advice just solidarity.

@JustHereWithMyPopcornhas your DS looked at the personal statements online? UCAS website and lots of the universities have guidance. It’s fairly rubbish for the school to give criticism but not offer any help. Does he have to have passion? Could he focus on one aspect of chemistry that was the first thing that made him love the subject and talk about that a little?

Does he have any other apprenticeships he wants to apply for?

DS has an offer from Exeter and the Oxford college he applied to have emailed to ask for his work examples to be submitted. He’s had a mock interview which was helpful. He was supposed to have two but the other guy didn’t join the teams call which is a shame. DS has emailed and (politely I hope) asked if it could be rescheduled. He’s really happy with his Exeter offer and is trying not to be Oxford obsessed as he knows it’s such a long shot. He’s also seen friends become obsessed, get rejected, and then not be willing to accept an alternative end up without a university place at all.

We are having a lousy time as two months ago I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer so I’m current having weekly chemotherapy and am not very well physically and mentally. DS is dealing with it primarily by ignoring it but I’m feeling so guilty that I’m putting additional stress on his A level year. He is also 18 next week. Goodness knows where that time went!

@bluefineliner thank you, I might ask him him to speak with is lovely Chemistry teacher as it's his form teacher that has given the feedback.

@Ventress yes, had lots of looks and, personally, I don't think his draft was that dissimilar in style to those claiming to be successful Oxbridge / Durham etc type ones. Obviously you need to be carefully not to be cribbing other peoples PSs but content wise it feels similar. Apparently yes, you have to show your passion for the subject to make yourself stand out. He's not applying to Oxbridge or big London unis now, but has Bath, Notts and Sheffield on his list and his predicted grades are good for those. No other apprenticeships have come on our radar, Chemistry ones aren't really a thing it would seem, unless you specifically want to be a lab technician which he doesn't.

Well done to your DS on his offer, I agree it's easy for them to get obsessed, we have seen friends do the same and DS's girlfriend has applied to Oxford and is similar.

I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis that must be so hard for you to be dealing with. Do not beat yourself up over the timings of this, you must put your health first and I am sure your DS absolutely understands this. I hope the chemo is doing it's job and you don't have to suffer it for too much longer.

Wishing you well @Ventress and hoping for the best outcome.

DD emailed her final UCAS into school over half term, which was a relief. Will see what happens next.

When are offer holder days generally held?

Oh @Ventress so sorry to read about your diagnosis. Hope the chemo works well and you get the all clear soon. Hope also you can rest well and be looked after. Your DS sounds extremely bright and capable, congratulations to him on the Exeter offer, it’s a lovely place.

@ArchitectureMum and@bluefineliner - thanks for the solidarity; it's much appreciated. It's strange to think that in less than a year all of thjs will be a memory and all these YP will be setting out on their paths.

@Ventress I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Here's hoping you respond very well to treatment and have lovely news to share here soon.

@Ventress sorry to hear your news. I've been following these threads since the year 11 ones and always found your comments really supportive and insightful (and your son sounds lovely). So sorry you're going through this - wishing you the very best for your recovery

Well done to those progressing with their ucas applications and getting offers. It’s all moving quite fast!

For DS the next big day is TMUA results day.

@Ventress i’m sorry to hear your news. I hope the treatment is effective and not too gruelling. Teenagers can be funny so and so’s with their emotions. I’m sure your DS will be processing things in his own way and know that you’re always there for him
xxx

@Ventress so sorry to hear of your diagnosis hope the treatment is over quickly for you. Your son does sound lovely and very well prepared for the coming weeks uni wise.

DD has been offered an interview at her second choice......

Very exciting news! Is this for medicine?

Congrats to her!

No, it's for theatre writing, directing and performing...

Wow, what an interesting degree! Where is she looking to do this?

That's great news @hels71 is it soon?

@Ventress so sorry to hear your diagnosis. Hope treatment goes well 🥰

So sorry to hear of your diagnosis @Ventress. I know we will all be rooting for you.

On the academic front, depressing news today from the University of Nottingham, which is suspending all music and modern languages courses for new students pending a final decision on their future. Nursing is also said to be at risk there. I don’t know what this means for anyone who has already submitted an application for a suspended course, but thought it worth flagging for those still deciding.

Well we are 16 applications in for degree apprenticeships! I’ve had to set up a whole tracking sheet to keep on top of them all. DS is ploughing through the online assessments and video job simulations like a good ‘un but god I’ll be glad of the reprieve that hopefully Christmas will give us from it. It’s taking up evening after evening!

@Ventress I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis 💐

@KellySeveride good on your son. My DS did one then gave up. The whole process is quite overwhelming!

York. The start of December. She's really hoping that she gets an interview at her first choice first!!

Best of luck to her!

@Ventresssorry to hear about your diagnosis and hope the treatment is not too harsh on you.

@KellySeveridehoping the determination pays off.

Well done to all the others with offers and interviews and those waiting to hear and still deciding.

@JessyCarra friend of DS had her offer from Notts withdrawn she can either switch to another course at Notts or make another choice elsewhere altogether. As an MFL graduate myself it is very sad to see but not wholly surprising. Nursing etc is more of a surprise at least to me.

Thank you all for your good wishes, I appreciate them 💐 I just feel so guilty about the awful timing, but you are all correct that DS will be okay. He is very focussed.

@JustHereWithMyPopcornits very subjective isn’t it? Ultimately your son can submit his ps and the school can’t stop him. If they can’t offer substantive help what help do they think they are offering?

Great news about the interview @hels71. Fingers crossed for her! Agree with pp that is sounds like a really interesting course.

Good luck to your DS with those apprenticeship applications @KellySeveride

@KellySeveride good luck to your DS! Our DS put in one application for a degree apprenticeship that had piqued his interest but has recently heard that they’ve had to withdraw the scheme so that’s the end of that idea for now!

@hels71 where is your dd’s first choice? Hopefully her interview with York can be a good warm up!

Today was (finally) UCAS submission day here. I remember you all saying how organised DD was at the beginning of the year, but although she starts tasks with enthusiasm she does lack the ability to finish things off! Anyway all done now. Lovely to hear of interviews and offers coming in.