Year 12 - 2025/2026: Here we go again!

[QueenMabby]

A new thread for the new school and college year. A friendly thread for parents of those going into year 12 in September 2025.

It can't have been easy for her @NotDonna to admit she was not enjoying the sought-after subject so that is very mature of her to be able to do so. Hope she enjoys history.

DD found French really tough (I do think there is often one A level where you do more work than the other two... for DS it was maths, for me it was Ancient Greek!) but it was good bc she was in a very small class, with a good friend, and yes, I think it was worth doing (her A level grades were low for various other reasons but it all ended well). She deffo was glad she did not continue with the music (tho she still plays, but for recreation now in a band).

How's the first full week been everybody?

Ratty has changed from maths to further maths, further maths teacher is easily by far the front runner as favourite teacher.

He has talked to many new people, has looked into debate and citizen societies, done a gym induction, has agreed to look at some university open days this weekend to be prepared for this time next year early UCAS application.

He has been very stoic and whilst he wants to be Ratty when I wake him with the larks to catch the train, he has been getting up, packing his bag, giving me information, is trying to navigate this new life stage independently.

I have decluttered his room, to make it more "a'level" than secondary school.

He seems happy, for the time being. Which is great to see. Primary was dreadful for Ratty, secondary was ok, bit thwarted with covid lockdown but ok, he has been waiting for an educational environment where he fitted. And he seems to be much more fitted to this 6th form. It's an ambitious, and nationally recognised, newish, STEM heavy 6th form, conditional for the courses, and seems to be full of students that are on the whole looking at university and are interested in learning.

He leaves the house quite early, and that's it, we don't know when he will be back (although have some idea with his new expanded basically full time timetable), has to get public train transport, can leave college at free periods and has the freedom that we have tried to give him but in this day and age in a built up growing city has been hard.

There is a lightness about him after this week, that suits him, even though he has an intense schedule. And he's just said, after I pointed out, (we were talking about Angela Rayner nice light Friday night topic), that his college does the citizen group who communicate with local MPs and gets right stuck in with politics and social issues and if he wants to start being heard as a young person he should look at getting involved instead of talking to me, and he said "but I like talking to you" big arrrhhhhh, I gently pointed out it wasn't an either/or.

So this Friday is a good Friday in this household.
(A long journey ahead.......but just for this weekend I big glass of red wine as they are fed and watered)

Little on the other hand, sprained ankle, probably, couldn't possibly do PE and after school (expensive) football academy, hobbling around, got lots of love and attention this morning, is probably going to be absolutely fine for team league game tomorrow morning, because of course he is, his football team is his only love and the "oscar winning performance" of hobbling this morning, soft mum email to school, to rest the broken ankle was all a ploy to rest it for the "big game" because of course it was, I fall for it everytime. Everytime!

@labradorservant I could ask our medic friends about current ethical discussions within the medical community if you want.
The first thought is the assisted dying bill that is being read in the House of Lords this week and next, it's clearly going to take a long time because it needs to be right, but there will be voices that need to be heard from the medics who will be expected to prescribe the medicines for patients, and their ethical dilemmas that this bill will carry.
I do know that the experienced medics we know are in favour of the bill, they face life and death in their working lives. But some doctors will be very uncomfortable, some will change their minds, I am of the impression the bill will include that no doctor will be forced to administer assisted dying. There is much to be discussed, it's a very interesting piece of legislation. And very current.

@frozendaisythank you. Now if we could somehow bring it all around to medical ethics of Love Island I think we might be onto a winner 😂.

Love that she’s in a band! Very cool!

I'm glad to see most appear to be settling into the new school year. DD2 has just finished her first full week of college and loves it! She has made lots of new friends, and has reconnected with several old ones (we moved from north Devon to south when she was 8, and the college she's now at serves most of Devon, with many kids travelling up to 2 hours+ each way - we're very lucky to live a 15 minute walk away!)

The only thing DD2 did not enjoy was her Physics teacher constantly checking in, specifically with her and the girl sitting next to her, that they were following and understanding everything. They are the only 2 girls in a class of 28, so she has him pegged as a misogynist. God help him!

DD1 and I have bought half of IKEA, most of Wilko and Boots, and now a roof box to go on the car for the "drop off at uni" next Saturday. Lots planned this week; DH and DD1 will be out for their regular Saturday morning Charity Shop trawl and coffee and cake, which has been happening whenever they're both free on a Saturday morning since she was 3 months old, so both are feeling quite sentimental about tomorrow being their last one while DD1 still lives at home. He's taking her to watch Spinal Tap 2 on Monday night too. I'm taking her to see Inter Alia on Thursday, then we're having my DH's rescheduled 50th birthday dinner on Friday night, after I hijacked his actual birthday with my attention seeking ITU stay!

We've got an AirBnB 10 mins away from DD1's halls for the Saturday night, then we're taking her for Sunday lunch before we head home (I told her I wanted to actually see her eat some vegetables in her new city, since I know she won't cook any for herself - except for maybe baked beans, which don't really count...)

I'm going to miss DD1 so much. She's such a ball of fizzy energy, and so much fun! I'm very grateful that FaceTime exists, I wouldn't have coped with a weekly call from a payphone! I asked for a text every 2 or 3 days and a call once a week, and she countered "Don't be silly, I'll text every 5 minutes whenever I have a question, like I do now, and I'll FaceTime every time I've got something interesting to tell you, which will be alllll the time, cos I'm an interesting person!" 😂

DD2 and I have printed off a bunch of tiny photos of weird things and random family jokes, and we're going to hide them all over her uni room! She's also insisted I douse her favourite teddy in my perfume.😍 DH is heading up there in November to watch some rugby, and I'm hoping to head up on the train and see her for lunch in late October.

Awww lots of lovely plans @OliveWah are the DDs close too?

@OliveWahive got the uni drop off next Saturday too. Where is your DD going? We are off to Bath. Nothing planned really. We did do a road trip last week though. Every night seems to involve the latest farewell drinks. dH is off to travel for a week today so I’ll be solo. Good friend lives in Bath so she’s my unofficial Airbnb for the next 3/4 years. I do need to get him to do the odd admin task and his LinkedIn and we’ll actually pack wed/thursday. We did the ikea run a few weeks ago, full of uni parents and teens that didn’t really know what they needed 😂.

I reckon you could do something with psychological effects of appearing on Love Island!
When reality stars go nuts!
Might put her off for life (win-win?)

@frozendaisyshes doing psychology alevel so probably can’t. But that would be right up her street 😂

DD didn't get the 1 mark she needed in chemistry to increase her grade, I've not spoken to her as didn't get home till midnight, I'm really hoping she's not to upset as she was devastated on results day.
But she did tell me she's made some new friends which to me is more important as she ditched them for the boyfriend, but he's gone to college

Week one done!
Its been emotional…
DS loves philosophy and after the first lesson chair problems now likes politics too.
He wants to change from Spanish to Economics- getting a 6 in the former meant a level was going to be a struggle and he wants to change.
This is fine- he got a 7 in maths so economics shd be ok he is going to sit in a lesson next week to see how it is. He still isn’t with any of his pals and I have very much said to him I hope he isn’t moving in the hope he will be with someone he knows and he assures me it isn’t.

There must be some tie-in?
The Love Island influence on increasing body dysmorphia in both young men & women?
Is Love Island a cause, the inevitable result or both? Does it reflect the transactional nature of the rise of dating apps? Valuing just physical appearance, over any other personal qualities?

We are not fans if you can’t tell, youngster’s bestie’s mum was a very young mum, and watches Love Island, I messaged her one week
“ok me & MrDaisy have agreed to watch an episode of Love Island it’s very influential to teenagers so we think we should educate ourselves what it is all about”

She thought it was hilarious the thought of us sitting there watching LI, my messages to her were
”I don’t get this you have to be coupled up to stay in?”

“what if you don’t like anyone?”
“I thought the Dr was quite interesting but he got voted off or left on the shelf”

H said “that’s an hour of my life I won’t get back”
I still was non-the wiser but decided that full one piece swimwear is still sexier, leaves something to the imagination and we decided that we would instruct the kids this is how not to live your life, here’s a book!

Well done all for surviving week 2.
Glad to hear that the DC who have swapped courses seem happy.
My DD is finding that A Levels are so much harder than GCSEs and is properly shocked! She said 4 students have dropped out of her English A Level group already! I have said that everybody will be finding it a big change and to just carry on and try her best, not stress about it. Her mate has already dropped Further Maths as she said the level of difficulty was "unnecessary" 😁

Good luck to all uni dropoffers. We are on our way back from Swansea where dd1 has a very nice room
with an en-suite and is apparently heading to the seaside this afternoon. I am going to miss her painfully.

meanwhile dd2 is home this weekend- orchestra-
so I’m desperate to get back to hear all about her first week as well. She’s got three nights at home but mostly rehearsals in the day and back in school very early Tuesday am.

Good luck to all university goers - and their parents!
I am on the sofa in full convalescent mode. DD found this week of school v stressful, but I think some of that may have been worry about my operation. The main issue is that OCD is still taking up far too much of her life. But she does have a D and D session planned for tomorrow, and she is clearly enjoying chatting with people in the common room.

Seems really early for university drop offs I thought I went end of September but I have no intention of attempting to fish out any potential old diaries!

Good luck to all uni freshers and mummies (and daddies and possibly even siblings) who are going to miss them.

One question about siblings and uni going, if you have one sibling who has a much smaller bedroom, and the other sibling goes to university, do you swap the bedrooms around? In theory, say if you have one two years younger, and let the one who is going to be in the house full time for say two years doing A'levels, let them have the bigger room and move the part-timer into the, very nicely redecorated smaller/guest room?

We dropped off last week but it’s in Scotland (long way from home!) and they start earlier. His pals are going from this week onwards. Eldest had bigger room, youngest (just started yr12) had the box room and the smaller bedroom. We’re not changing that, it’s never come up in conversation and, personally, wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, not sure why and I’m sure plenty of families do it happily. We have, however, set up the ironing board in the empty bedroom so it can stay up! I’m envious of people hearing from their uni kids, mine is utterly hopeless at it and I get more from his pals mum (who I’m friends with), clearly keeping in touch with his pals.

I really miss him and he can be a very thoughtful kid but a text home seems beyond him

@SB1971 I would expect doing a MFL A level with a grade 6 GCSE is a big ask - if he was almost a 7 or something went amiss then different story. Both my elder 2 did economics and it’s actually not that mathsy - charts, graphs etc rather than complicated algebra and he’ll be absolutely fine with a 7. What are just other choices?

@frozendaisy hi I wouldn't personally as its their space and some continuity when life is changing so much may be a good thing, to know home is still the same.

My DD is off to Uni next Saturday and DS would be off to Uni September 2027.

when both at uni I will be on my own for two years for long periods 🥹

it helps I actually have the smallest room the kids have the bigger rooms because I felt they send more time in their rooms and have more stuff to accommodate than I do.

But I doubt DD would ever allow it, she has the largest room, DD has directly painted art work onto the painted walls 😁as you can tell I'm not house proud and its impressive. DS has the slightly smaller room.

I guess its how would your child going to uni see it. So much change going on, something staying the same may help.

@frozendaisy DD3 negotiated her move into DD1’s large en-suite room from her teeny tiny room when she moved out temporarily. Tbf DD1 has been back and forth as did a 4 year degree apprenticeship and trying to study in the teeny tiny room hasn’t been great. We do have a study that all 3 and DH use and they’re pretty good at agreeing who works where esp when DD1 and DH have client calls / are wfh etc. It certainly wasn’t my suggestion but DD1 was very happy to give it to DD3, which is fair given she was home 100% of the time.

Thanks guys, we have x2 years and Little might not want to take over bigger room. Ratty might be fine or not fine. It's not an issue right now but if, IF, Ratty looks like he won't ever live here again full time, then the room is up for grabs as far as I am concerned. It's not like there would never be a place for him to sleep here, ever, we are not evicting him from the family, and never would (tempting as it might be on occasion :-D) I jest of course not. We love the bones of them obviously, and had a wonderful discussion this lunchtime about his "reading journey". I know he's in such a good mood at the moment he's engaging in conversations. Fucking weird.

Weekend newspaper has university guide for 2025 out so that is our dinner reading perusal!

@NotDonna - the girls are really close, totally different, but get on like a house on fire! They spend hours chatting about nothing and everything, and have had a weekly Costa date every Friday for the last 2 years. They're really going to miss one another, we're a really close family and it's going to be so strange being one short!

@labradorservant - funnily enough I'm from Bath! I lived there until I was 23, and I'm back there for a few days every couple of weeks as my elderly Dad is still there. It's a fab city, I'm sure your DC will have a brilliant time! DD1 is off to Cardiff, so not horribly far, a couple of hours either by train or car. DH lived there for 10 years after his degree, and his best friend and partner still live nearby, and my DSis did her Masters there and stayed for 10 years, so we're fairly familiar. DD2 is currently considering Durham and Edinburgh, so I'm counting myself lucky that DD1 is breaking us in gently!

@ForeverWanderingButNotLost loved that phrase "the level of difficulty was "unnecessary"" - I think I'll be using that in this house for many things from now on😆

DD has also finished their first week and come home quite happy with her A-level choices and intellectually enjoying it (except Sociology which is only recapping the GCSE at the moment, so that gets an eye-roll). Made a few friends in classes but mainly still meeting up with a couple of friends from her old school for lunch and free periods. We were both surprised how exhausted she was by Friday as it doesn't feel much different in length to her old school day but she says it's just more intense.