Year 12 - 2024/25 - Support, Discussion and Looking After Each Other

[BlackBean2023]

A survival thread for Y12 parents (24/25) now that GCSEs are over and our young people move onto KS5

DS must be thinking about unis, because he decided to give up his 4th A-level to concentrate on the core three. He is doing well with all 4, but he can see it is getting even harder. I am so pleased he is so mature.
He is not that fussed about open days. A reasonably good an affordable uni that gives him a good job will do him fine, apparently.

I do hope your daughter is feeling better now @wonderstuff It sounds as though she is in a good place with regard to her future options though. My son has dismissed Reading for the same reason as your DD, but is still considering Surrey. He also seems keen on a university in London. DS was booked on the LSE open day during the Easter holidays but has had to cancel as he's working. He can do the virtual stuff instead and go in September if he still wants to consider it.

Personally I think a gap year (or two) is a really good idea @Zubomama. Sixth form is just so busy, particularly year 13. To me it makes sense to take a year out and consider options, get a job and make some money and/or travel. My son won't consider it though - not sure why.

Nice to have you back @Newlease

I read all of your posts and I realise that whilst our children have their own unique experiences and challenges they have so much in common too.

(edited to remove random duplicated word)

I feel that we are in a similar situation but DS undiagnosed, due to be assessed in a month or so. Organisation and planning not a strong point, has also picked essay based subjects that he’s struggling with (dyslexic and finds it difficult to plan and tackle big pieces of work, very happy to sit down with worksheets etc). Has no idea what he wants to do next. Up to now he’s been happy to be guided/organised by us but with such big decisions ahead he should be taking the lead, and isn’t! Am
hoping that UCAS discovery days and maybe a couple of uni visits will help focus. We’re just hoping to get through year 12 unscathed (he’s quite anxious about the prospect of not reaching required year 12 grades to stay into year 13 so am trying to navigate that at the moment) and realistically I think he might end up applying once he has his grades and taking a year out. I have friends whose kids have done this so I feel ok that there are several routes to get them to where they want to be!

I have ADHD, so can speak of my experience, however I didn't know I had it when I was in year 12. I did find year 12 really tough, my predicted grades were quite a bit lower than the grades I eventually got, because I found keeping on top of assignments really difficult, but the pressure of exams meant I could 'lock in' as my students say and for the subject where I actually attended all my classes I got an A and managed Cs for the others where I wasn't really as interested and engaged with less. I was lucky that college didn't have a minimum attainment to get to year 13 and they were sympathetic to me struggling, at one point doing 3 A-levels over 3 years was discussed, but I did the normal path in the end.

What helped was things I was interested in, I was interested in my subjects and I did really want to go to university. I did a few open days and having that goal helped. I had planned a year out and probably should have reapplied with my better grades, but it was 1997 and going straight out of college meant I didn't have to pay tuition fees so that's what I did. I have no idea if I would have been able to be productive if I'd taken a gap year to be honest. I did find independent study at university hard, but I think the fact I was coming from college rather than school helped and I managed to scrape a 2:1 in the end.

I think it is difficult when you inevitably compare your journey to that of people who are neuro-typical. DD is dyslexic (and possibly ADHD but she functions better than me) and when I read on here about people sorting out open days and work experience and aiming for russell group universities it can feel like we are really behind. But I remind myself that there are different paths for different people and if it takes DD an extra year (or even 2) to get to university then that is fine and actually right now she is out performing both me and DH, which is fantastic.

Thank you so much for your replies. Different paths for different people is exactly right. I can see he will underperform this year, probably then 'lock in' as you say and overdeliver on his predictions, bag these grades and take a bit longer to then get to uni. I'm fine with that - he is smart and is discovering what interests him and he will find a path at some point, he's just not ready as early as the 'system' expects him to be. What worries me is he doesn't yet see he is on a different path to his friends (all fairly high achievers and applying to good unis in STEM), and I worry its going to upset him when he does realise and they all go off on their journeys. They are the centre of his universe right now. And I also worry about what he will do in his year out...he will need to work and go into the world but he has no common sense, practicality at the moment...Trying to convince him to try and find a summer job but just doing his CV was getting blood out of a stone and he just sat there while I typed 😩 maybe a switch will flick in the next 12 months or so... Thanks for letting me vent on here!

It’s been a while but DD attended a UCAS event today and has her university shortlist drawn up - I don’t feel ready!

We also have struggles going on here. I’ve suspected dd is autistic for several years but she’s never really engaged with the idea. Now her social anxiety, struggles with friendships and various other issues are still hindering her day to day life she’s coming around to the idea. The more I think about it the more I see that she struggles so much with day to day life in the way her younger sister doesn’t. She can’t even engage with ideas about subjects to study never mind which uni to consider and won’t even go to the college presentations about university applications etc. she’s now eager to get a diagnosis if possible so that will be our priority while trying to keep her steady and working hard at college.
had hoped that college would make these issues vanish but in reality that wasn’t ever going to happen.

Was that one of the Discovery Events? I'm trying to persuade DS to sign up for our local one. He says he doesn't have a UCAS account. Should school do this or can he just sign up himself?

Yes, she felt it was useful and has actually reordered her choices based on some course discussions. Has her heart set on Exeter, second choice York and insurance of Loughborough but she’ll also apply to UAE and Warwick.

They all feel very far away!

@gingercat02 I think I posted the link upthread, but it is very quick and straightforward for them to set up their own UCAS account on the UCAS website. Useful, too, as they will then get email prompts and reminders when things get going for the coming round.

Exeter will be first choice here too, @BlackBean2023.

Ds is going with school. He doesn’t have a ucas account yet

I work in Enabling Services at university and we often support students with Autism and ADHD etc. Most unis are very good when it comes to mental health support and if she has a specific learning difference she can apply for Disabled Students Allowance. Some also do pre-tours and settling in events to make the transition more easy.

Not sure if I should make a separate post for this, but I'll ask here first. DD has her heart set on an art degree, but she's also fallen in love with French this year. She's talking about doing a gap year and working abroad either in France or Quebec. She's hoping to take some art lessons in her spare time, see the local galleries, save some money and build her language skills a bit before uni.

Has anyone had a DC do something similar for their gap year? We're dual Candian citizens, so working in Quebec wouldn't be a problem. But the sort of job likely to hire a teenager wouldn't probably recruit from abroad so she'd have to go there with nothing lined up and apply around. France would obviously be closer, but all she could realistically do there is au pair. That would mean her accommodation was sorted, but she wouldn't be earning much to put towards uni when she returns...

@temperedolive My DD has looked into this option a bit but ended up being put off by the limitations of the au pair role and the hoop-jumping required for a British citizen to meet visa requirements. I think a Canadian citizen may be in a better position, immigration-wise, for a “working holiday” visa in France, but no doubt you’d have to look into that. (Switzerland also may be an option).

A godchild of mine did do a gap year in France, pre-Brexit, but worked as an English-language tutor and didn’t improve his French as much as he had planned. He went through an agency and was placed in a small rural town with little public transport or social life, and felt isolated I think. Another young person we know went to France as an au pair and found herself to all intents and purposes in sole daily charge of four young children (including a baby) while their parents tended to their farm. So it’s really important to be absolutely clear about what is being signed up for.

DD’s plans now are to work in the UK to fund a summer language camp in France, but not to take a gap year. She’s itching to get on with undergraduate life!

Will your DD be doing an art foundation course? Could that, coupled with a part-time job and some holiday travel to French-speaking countries, be a good bridging year if the gap year idea doesn’t work out?

Thank you for sharing the experiences of your YP! Yes, I think when she pictures France she is imagining Paris. Visiting little independent galleries, sipping cafe au lait in quaint cafes, sketching by the Seine. But au pair roles in Paris are probably in very high demand. Which is why Quebec may be a better choice, as she could choose to situate herself in Montreal and then look for work in the area.

She isn't sure about the foundation year yet. Her great loves are ceramics, glass and metalwork. Some courses with these specialisms offer a built-in foundation year. And it's not really a consideration with certain metalwork courses.

Hi all,

Sounds like a lot of DC are getting very well prepared which is great. I feel my DD is moving backwards slightly in motivation for uni and seems to be going around in circles on what she wants to do. I think this is complicated by having a new bf and over thinking her future.

DD also has tonsilitis but it got so bad she is constantly vomiting and had to have new antibiotics prescribed when took her to ooh GP yesterday. She is so run down and can't seem to fight this off quickly so is missing the school trip to oxford uni today which is a shame.

After talking about biomed for ages she now says she is thinking about being a GP because she loves the patient interaction side of the role as well as her love of biology/chem/physiology etc. She can't see herself doing research or mainly lab work as a job and is such a people person, but also academic.

Urgh... My initial concern is she hasn't had any work experience which is vital for med school. Anyway we are looking into this now (there is also next year if she is too late) as I work in healthcare I am hoping to help. I think the main reason she has kept away from medicine is because she thought it was all orthopaedic surgery and Greys Anatomy drama in the theatres, as well as having to sit UCAT.

My advice to her was to secure some work experience which will show her what the job is like, then if she changes her mind it would still be useful for a biomed course anyway for some insight into healthcare.

I was hoping this might be more straightforward than it is! Good luck to anyone else with an indecisive DC.

I would really urge her to look into the reality of being a GP/ medicine in the UK. From what ive heard, GP is one of the worst specialties in medicine as its being taken over by PAs. Medicine in the UK overall is something that not many would advise. Applicants really need to be sure that its for them and have iron level self esteem

I hope your daughter feels better soon @bluefineliner

We are also experiencing doubts and changes with DS' choice of UG degree. I think it's very difficult for our young people to be thinking about making such enormous decisions only two terms into their A Levels. I think/hope that DS will gain some clarity from the university open days this summer. Perhaps your daughter will too? Missing the Oxford day is annoying but hopefully she will be fit and well to attend the open day in July.

A back up is certainly necessary for medicine as there are so few places available. A friend's daughter s at UCL doing medical science as, despite 4 A stars, she didn't get offered a place for medicine at any of the universities she applied to. She is now planning to reapply for medicine after her UG degree finishes.

DS' school have also said that they will be taking year 12's to the UCAS Discovery Day event as a group which should be beneficial.

DS was looking at Law and I was trying to gently steer him towards something less restrictive than an LLB, perhaps PPL or similar. He has now decided that he is really getting interested in politics and would like to look at Politics and History (or IR and History or PPL). He still has his work experience in the legal department of a large IT company in June so could still change back if he decides he loves contract law!

For those interested in Exeter university their open day booking for 30th and 31st May are now available: Open Days and visiting | Undergraduate Study | University of Exeter

Thanks @Waspie, days are flying by and I am more anxious than my daughter.
She still has not decided on subjects or uni. School has exams two/three per week and when she get a free day/weekend, she just don’t want to look into anything else :( Is this only mine, or do you all think they have so much on their plate rn
And very loosely mentioned options are Aerospace Engg/Maths/Physics combo of some sort. I feel like we are the only ones who have no “real list”.
Thanks so much for all the WE/seminar links that’s posted here, she got into one of Cambridge STEM residential for Easter holidays for Physics and two days later, got invited for Engg programme for a day but same time as Phy one. So now decided to go for residential, I wouldn’t have find any of these without this group, thank you all! @JessyCarr, I was struggling not to panic, and feeling guilty, but I didn’t know anything about the application process or the WE needed outside of school. Your posts helped me a lot.
@bluefineliner Hope your daughter feels better soon.
@Waspie that’s good he will get a taster of law firm, that would definitely help.Good Luck
Those who have a list already, well done! School is taking them for UCAS event end of April, hopefully that will help

dd has suddenly got in to researching unis.
So we have 6 open days lined up between June and October.
Unfortunately her favourite is the last. (we are busy on their June open day unfortunately)

Dd is autistic and it has been interesting to see the things that she is looking at, apart from the subject itself.
Things like the option to stay in halls for all 3 years, the option to do a PGCE at the same uni, and so on.

But all her options want quite a high entrance (AAB) which I think is a bit of a stretch, especially for the third subject. She has ONE which has a contextual offers around ABB or BBC, so I am hoping she keeps that one in the mix.

We've booked the open day at Bath. DD starting to get excited about looking and is thinking about what she wants from a university. Bath is quite a distance from us but her Godmother (old university friend of mine) lives there so we're going to stay with her the night before. Quite looking forward to it. 😀

We’re thinking about the Edinburgh open days (June and October dates). We may wait until October as the extent of Edinburgh’s cutbacks may be clearer by then. I am hoping DD doesn’t get too invested in the idea of applying there, only to find that her somewhat niche course is being discontinued.

After attending a UCAS discovery day, DS is less inclined to visit Exeter University. Manchester and Belfast have shot up his list though!