DD wants to resit - regardless

[Blushingm]

DD has a place to study law. She thinks she's messed up a couple of exams as her nerves get to her.

I've said to wait til results day as she may still be accepted - she's got a contextual offer already.

She wants to resit year 13 regardless as she's not happy with her performance and feels still will always feel like she could have done better. My thoughts are no one ever asks your a levels once you have your degree and she should go if they accept but she's adamant she wants to resit

What do you think?

If she gets the place I would see little point in resitting. It seems like a very ‘perfectionist’ thing to do and wouldn’t set a great precendent for uni: would she then want to retake a year if not happy with her grades?

If she’s been offered a place (or is likely to) then why on earth resit? I’m happy to be corrected, but just regurgitating information I’ve read on here, I thought resits were generally frowned upon by unis etc, some not accepting resit results at all? It seems a terrible waste of an entire year.

I didn't know that unis frowned on resits!!?

She's a perfectionist - definitely.

I thought it would be a waste of a year too. She wants to go results day with her friends and will speak to her head of 6th form then she says

Would it be awful if I rang school to speak to him myself? Even though she seems to have made up her mind?

Is it bc she wants a place at a different uni with higher requirements? Otherwise there's no point. If she's got the course she wants then she should do it. Surely her school or college would say resitting the whole year is a last case scenario for people who've totally failed?

She would be crazy to resit and it would be pointless as her friends move on with their lives. As long as she gets in she needs to accept that life isn’t perfect

I would be a bit concerned about your daughter's mental health and also her maturity in terms of how she will cope in the real world.

She sounds like someone who puts a great deal of pressure on herself to always perform at her best, but her best is subjective to her anyway - will anything ever feel satisfactory? What would doing her best look like to her? There's a danger she'll get bogged down in some battle with herself that only exists in her head and it's unachievable anyway.

In terms of moving forward, she will have new things to study - why waste time going backwards when the future is ahead of her. And also she needs to learn that in life no one does their best all the time. The world's best lawyers and surgeons have scraped through on occasion Good enough is enough, truly.

If she wants to work in a law firm then they won’t like resits.

She's got a place on the course she wants to- she's just doesn't think she will meet the requirements

I've said sometimes they will take you even if you miss your grades but she's saying she wants to resit even if they accept her

She'll likely feel different if she gets the grades.

Some law firms won't like resits.

They won't like resits. That's worse than a unexpected grade.

Will they know if they're resits? The law firms I mean?

Do not resit if they accept her. Look forward to the future. The whole point of these exams is to access the next stage in her life. Literally nobody - not even the profs at her new institution - will ever look at them or ask for them. It will achieve absolutely nothing and waste a year of her life.
This level of perfectionism is linked to poor mental health at uni so 100 per cent try to address that before she leaves home

This has always been her - striving for perfection. She always feels she could do better

Yes of course they will since she’ll have done three years in sixth form

Also, this is true. When you have to declare in some job applications every exam you've ever sat people don't like repeats. Never do them unnecessarily

For your DD, the purpose of A'levels is to allow her to go on to the next part of her career, ie to study law.

If her results allow her to do that at a good quality university, what would be the point of resitting?

You're right, A'levels may seem like a big deal now, but once she has her degree, literally no-one will ever ask her about her A'levels again. So she'd just be wasting a year.

The only reason to resit would be if better results would get her to a better university, but that's unlikely.

This is exactly what I am trying to get across to her - no one will ask about A Levels once she has her degree. Her place is at a Russell Group Uni with an excellent reputation

Should I speak to her head of 6th form or leave it to her?

She will no doubt have read that it’s extremely difficult to get a training contract without excellent ALevel grades. That is correct. But law firms like resits even less than a slipped grade.

GCSEs are a stepping stone to a levels, and a levels are a stepping stone to Uni. You don't jump up and down on the same stepping stone if you can reach the next one!

I agree OP. As someone who was also an academic perfectionist this attitude will only lead to disaster in the working world.
Exams are easy. You study, answer the questions, get the grade. Done.
In the working world there are so many situations where you have to do the best you can. Too many factors to control, there'll be so many things where you'll look back and think 'could've done better' but in the grand scheme of thinks, it doesn't matter.
I found this very hard to accept at first. Once I let go things became much easier and more importantly, work became much less stressful! Focusing on the right things, and doing them to a good standard is more important.
Don't let the great be the enemy of the good.

‘Retaking A levels is quite common, it can affect your chances into getting in to some university’s. Applicants will need to state why they need their resit results to be properly considered. They will need to present and explain their extenuating circumstances, such as bereavement, illness, changing schools etc’.
Basically a resit means you fucked up the first time, so a lot of unis will see you as a less worthy applicant. Better to get in the first time with not so amazing results, than having to resit like you’ve failed the first time, which by the sounds of things your dd hasn’t?

I know somebody who did this. Spent a year retaking her A levels at a private study college as she was disappointed with her grades. Her uni offer had agreed she could still take her place with lower grades, but she was adamant that she wanted to repeat to improve her grades.

After a year she got.... Exactly the same A levels grades again.

She found it even more difficult to motivate herself to study second time round. Mixture of it being boring repeating the same syllabus, over confidence, and I think feeling restless as her friends had all moved on and she hadn't.

I would strongly urge your DD to not do this. Learn lessons for the future and do differently in future, but don't go back and try and change what has already happened.

Does she go to a private school?

In the state sector you can't just retake year thirteen if you passed the first time.

Will her sixth form even let her resit there? Resitting doesn’t guarantee you will do better and as pp have said some unis don’t like resits.