DD wants to resit - regardless

[Blushingm]

DD has a place to study law. She thinks she's messed up a couple of exams as her nerves get to her.

I've said to wait til results day as she may still be accepted - she's got a contextual offer already.

She wants to resit year 13 regardless as she's not happy with her performance and feels still will always feel like she could have done better. My thoughts are no one ever asks your a levels once you have your degree and she should go if they accept but she's adamant she wants to resit

What do you think?

Law firms won't like resits. It would go better for her at a law firm to have subpar A-Levels and an excellent degree and work experience than to resit.

She might have done better in her exams than she thinks. I'd say nothing until she gets her results and then the excitement of going to uni might kick in.

@Blushingm , does your dd understand you have to pay ££££ at a private 6th form college to retake her a levels? She can't do it at her school with tuition. This level of perfectionism doesn't bode well for real life. Hopefully over the next 6 weeks she will calm down.

She's at state school and there have been people who have resat year 12 and 13 there - it's not a big school but is just a normal comprehensive

I am tempted to speak to the school but I don't want her to get angry

I'd also hate for her perfectionism to ruin things in future

She has people in her current school year who are repeating year 13 - so they're a year older than her.

One of her friends repeated year 12 so is only just going in to year 13 this September

I agree with all the posts saying this is not a healthy trait for your DD and she should work at overcoming it -– for the sake of her future life.

I have made a number of mistakes at work in my life; but if I think back, I have not made the same mistake again. Wonderful never to make a mistake - but almost impossible, especially if taking on a challenging role with high demands. The thing is to learn from your mistakes, accepting you have made them and moving on with a plan to do better going forward.

Same with your DD's A levels – if she did less well than she thought, why is that? If it is nerves, how can she work on that going forward? That' what will be useful to her, rather than a mindset of repeating a task to get a better result. You can't do that as a rule. And in fact as others say, resitting A levels doesn;t always mean a better grade anyway.

I would say, if her RG uni accepts her with the grades she achieves, happy days, time to move forward (and find a way to deal with nerves – maybe that's something as simple as breathing techniques).

If they turn her down, will there be a clearing option? worth checking that out now. What are her PGs and what is her offer? What does she think she might have achieved?

That would be great - she's been excited all year about going - she's picked her halls and been looking at things she needs to take

I think she may be saying this as a way of protecting herself. She’s worried she isn’t going to pass and by saying this she’s trying to tell you (& herself) that it’s ok if she has to resit. If she gets the grades to go I bet she doesn’t give resits another mention.

Rather than argue with her about it or going to the school yet I would be reinforcing that you are proud of her whatever the grades & that life can throw curve balls but that they can sometimes they can work out for the best.

I would be tempted to confidentially speak to her school, as I would be concerned about her mental health. She does need to be able to cope with failure - everyone fails at some point in life and the best pick themselves up and move on.
She might listen to a teacher more than you.
I would also be concerned about building her resilience

Her PG are ABBB and her contextual offer was ABB

Nerves have always been a thing for her whether it's school or trying new things or competing in sports or anything

I completely agree - I may see if I can speak to the head if 6th form on Monday - I don't want her to think I'm interfering though

Ah - so does she think she messed up one A level? Which would then not count (if the other three were ABB?). In which case no worries surely. Or is the supposed mess-up across two subjects?

Is the fourth A level FM?

Only if they failed their A Levels, not if they get a B or C in them when they wanted an A-star.

*She has people in her current school year who are repeating year 13 - so they're a year older than her.

One of her friends repeated year 12 so is only just going in to year 13 this September*

People who passed the first time but thought they could do a better job of they had another go?

Or people who failed their A levels?

Exactly, The law firms who care about perfect A level results (magic circle big London firms) won’t like resits. The others won’t care and will base on her degree and experience.

also once she starts off on her degree her interests may take her in many different directions.

I agree that she needs to focus on her own well being. Encourage her to relax into the summer break and hope she can disengage from her current mindset.

What's FM?

She's doing history, RS, psychology & English Lit/Lang. She thinks she messed up on one of her English and one of her psychology.

Passed (just) but needed better grades for the subject they wanted

She'll get confirmation of her offer from UCAS before she goes into school to get her results so you'll have time to big up the offer, assuming she is accepted, before she collects results.

Agree with others btw - ask her to think from the uni's point of view. They make her an offer which she achieves. She then turns them down and re-applies. They'll think she didn't really want them in the first place and is resitting to try for an Oxbridge offer.

It probably is just nerves, but she needs to understand she will not gain anything from resitting, and may well find it works against her.

As a lawyer should she submit a bundle on-time and in reasonably good state, or in a perfect state but two weeks late?

If she does resit (which she shouldn’t unless she really messes up) then it’s a really bad idea to take four unless one is FM. Not one university requires four and the danger is you spread yourself too thinly. Far better to have AAA than to have AABB. Obviously the hope is that it won’t be an issue because she gets the grades but if she does insist on resitting then you should steer her away from four.

law firms and lawyers in general expect academic excellence. They are looking for intellectual ability above everything else. Exam grades are used as an indication of this. It’s a harsh working environment but we expect those who make it to be extremely intelligent

As a lawyer should she submit a bundle on-time and in reasonably good state, or in a perfect state but two weeks late?

well I hate to say it but as a lawyer she should submit it in a perfect state and on time!

Sorry - what does FM mean?

What kind of Law does she want to practice? This might be a lesson in accepting an outcome in life for her. For example, if she practices Criminal Law or any type of law where there are court hearings which could go either way, if she "loses" she can't ask the Judge for a retrial just because she doesn't like the outcome.

She's interested in criminal and family law - and you make a good point, she won't get a 2nd chance at a closing argument for example

FM is further maths. She may well feel differently come results day, if she gets her choice of uni and her friends are moving on. Has she previously felt disappointed with her performance, gcses perhaps?