Y12 2023/24 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[BonjourCrisette]

GCSEs are over and we are beginning the next stage. Let's hope it's a bit less stressful than this summer has been! All welcome to discuss, share experiences and support each other as our children move into Y12/BTECs/apprenticeships and start a new phase.

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky it's always a bit awkward being new somewhere and not really knowing how to do things. I always feel it very acutely whenever I start somewhere new, and I'm pretty experienced in the workplace. Hopefully your DD has had some good learning experiences.

my swotty, indoorsy DD1 has just done her first couple of days in an outdoor job where most of the others are young lads. She's been surprised at how much she's enjoyed quite physical work. She's a bit sunburned but very happy with her first couple of days' wages, which obviously she's mentally spent already.

Thanks @TheTurn0fTheScrew

It's been a long week. From an adult perspective they have been great at getting her involved and stuff, she has sat in on meetings on all sorts of stuff, there is a uni student there as well on w/e and I wonder if it's just for a bit lost how young she is.

She has stuck it out - I did offer to ring school on Wednesday and ask advice on ending it early as I was finding it hard listening to the tears every morning but she didn't so I am so proud of her. I think she will have gained so much from it that she doesn't maybe see now - all she sees is friends playing with kids in primary schools and having fun! She has enjoyed it while there I think it's just she gets overwhelmed when at home with not having done the tasks, she thinks they are relying on her to do them but as she has t actually had to hand any in yet I don't think that's the case and have tried to explain that.

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky it might help her if the school asks for some feedback on how she did. Ds had some from his a couple of weeks ago and it really boosted him up. It was not indepth just that he was lovely to have around, he worked hard and they enjoyed having him.

My DS doing is now really struggling in exams, suddenly goes into panic stations as soon as put in an exam situation. He isn’t diagnosed ASD but we have an appt to discuss it with the dr. He really struggles with social situations, noise, crowds etc and wears ear defenders the whole time when in school. He asked the school about access arrangements but was told that it was normal, nothing could be done, and to do some breathing exercises. I emailed the school a couple of weeks ago but they haven’t got back to me yet.

@Sadtimes1
If your school has broken up, then I'd suggest going to the GP and trying to get it started. There isn't long in year 13 before access arrangements have to be in place because it has to be their normal way of working.

Thank you @MargaretThursday, our school hasn’t broken up yet but I doubt I’ll get to speak to them before the end of term. We have an appointment to speak to a dr booked to discuss an ASD referral. This son has more ASD traits than his brother, who is already diagnosed. It’s never been necessary to go for a diagnosis as he has always coped well at school but life is becoming increasingly difficult for him to manage with his issues around crowds, noise, social situations etc. I am pretty sure uni will be very challenging for him.

@Sadtimes1

If he gets a SEN diagnosis, then he's entitled to extra help at uni. I don't know if it's universal what they're offered, but dd2 had a grant to pay for a laptop, a free noticeboard (I think the idea is they use it to organise themselves!), and, I think, a mentor for an hour a week.
The latter is really helpful as they can intercede between them and the tutor when things don't go quite right.

It also, for her uni, would mean that she could choose to live on campus after the first year. I think that's often the case, but not all.

Yes, thank you @MargaretThursday, a mentor would be helpful although he is not good with talking to new people. We are not sure if atm he will be able to cope with being on campus. I know that the waiting list for assessment is over 2 years in this area but I am going to ask the dr about the right to chose.
It would be handy to have something in place for school as atm DS is struggling but doesn’t want to make a fuss. I am worried this will result in him not meeting his potential. He doesn’t like the idea of having a tutor, I think it’s the thought of dealing with someone he doesn’t know. He often goes mute when socially exhausted.

@Sadtimes1 sorry your DS is struggling. My DS2 started crashing in Yr10 with Yr11 being horrendous. All 4 of my DC are autistic, but I was late picking up on DS2 needing intervention. For him medication has made the biggest difference, though we'd tried a couple of different counselling options before that. We went private but CAMHS have now taken over care with no arguments and increased his dose etc.

We used a great tutor when he was struggling with GCSE English, online and very experienced with SEND DC who are anxious/unable to attend etc. He took DS2 from a predicted 2/3 to 4/5 and that was only starting with him 6 weeks before the exams

@PennywisePoundFoolish thank you, that’s good to hear. One of my DS’s has a diagnosis and one is in the process. It is the youngest one who is struggling, he is very academic and is very good at masking so has never been looked at. He is now finding he doesn’t want to mask anymore, particularly at home, so we are noticing how much he is struggling.
I hope you don’t mind me asking but which meds did you felt helped?

@PennywisePoundFoolish would you mind pm the English tutor you used, if you feel comfortable doing so. My DD2 fell out of school in year 8 we are now home educating with mix tutors in person & online but English we haven’t found someone who “gets her”.

I’m sorry to hear @Sadtimes1 that DS is struggling it’s hard when your in the system to step out of it but if he needs to take a year out to rebuild his mental health there’s many options for education going forward. If I’ve learnt anything in the last year the right path for him will come in time. My academically very able DD struggles with everything you have described and only a complete break from MS education has seen her start to heal and start to thrive & learn in her own way. Dr Naomi Fisher has some really good information if you haven’t read any of her work or she does webinars via Eventbrite.

Thank you @SummerChilling. I will look up Dr Naomi Fisher. Sadly, my DS would never agree to take a year off, he is already stressing about all the work he has been set for the summer holidays. Honestly, I wish they would let them have a bit of a break over the summer 😞. I am so pleased that your DD is thriving, I find it really hard to get my DS to stop studying and have some downtime. Haven’t managed to speak to the school, they finish tomorrow and I am working all day, in a job where I can’t use my phone, so no chance to speak to them 😞.

DS is also stressing about the amount of work set for the summer.

Ds sitting doing welsh bacc today and he has already done 8000 words and he is stressed about it. Geography course work always causing stress!!

Mine has had zero work set over the summer from what I can tell! Is this private sixth form? She’s at a “outstanding” college but it’s quite self directed learning plus they finished end of June.

My ds has some set work plus one of his NEAs to do (not private - sixth form) however he’s off on hols with friends this week and then with us week after next so not much is getting done atm!

DD is at a private school but she hasn't been given anything really. School suggested that they do some reading around the subjects, though. And she's entering an essay competition, but that's by choice and definitely not compulsory.

No work set for DC1 either since college finished late June. Quite happy with that.

Bog standard comp here but they seem to want a high flying sixth form so seem to push them quite a bit. They are one of the few local schools to keep their sixth form so seem to want the bright ones with them rather than at the big college.

Nothing set here, just a general reminder that there are some exams as soon as they are back.

My DD has been spending the afternoon doing some work as she is keen to get on top of stuff.

Ds2 finishes tomorrow, after a horrendous first term he's really flying now. I'm conscious he may crash but we're going ahead with booking in some university visits, though seem to have missed a couple already.

Not sure if they'll be set work, he's currently motivated to improve his Biology but I'll be keeping enquiries low-key.

DS finished here today. Seems to think he'll do nothing for the first half of the holiday, then work on his EPQ in the second half. Doesn't have any actual homework set, but they are being generally advised to look back on what they've done this year and fill any gaps over the holidays.

@NCTDN and @mumonthehill sorry to hear that you have the same stress.

@SummerChilling not a private school, normal comp 6th form although prob high achieving. DS has work for all 3 subjects plus EPQ, stressing how it’s all going to get done. I do feel that they need some rest time over the holidays.

Just thought i would check in to see how everyone is enjoying their summer. Ds been busy with work and sport. I did mention yesterday that it was 2 weeks until AS results and got a huge groan!!!