Y12 2023/24 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[BonjourCrisette]

GCSEs are over and we are beginning the next stage. Let's hope it's a bit less stressful than this summer has been! All welcome to discuss, share experiences and support each other as our children move into Y12/BTECs/apprenticeships and start a new phase.

@PennywisePoundFoolish hope medication will make difference as well as Talking therapy for your DS. I totally empathise because my DS is on high functioning autism and currently on Talking therapy but does not like it and doesn't practise much of exercises given. Although settled in college and seems to be enjoying his course Ds is not organised and does not revise until pushed. I am sure taking off pressure will help your Ds.

Thanks everyone for the kind messages. I regret not going private sooner, I just kept battling with CAMHS and it's been utterly futile. He's had 2 lots of talking therapy but that actually made him worse. The plan is for medication to lift him so he can get to the point of being able to engage in other therapy. He already has ASD diagnosis along with Chronic Fatigue syndrome and Essential Tremors. He's such a kind and gentle soul, but he has a couple of siblings with very high needs, and I've really let him down by not acting faster.

Although his school has agreed to letting him drop Physics (he wasn't allowed to do chemistry as his GCSE wasn't high enough so Physics wasn't his choice), they generally haven't been supportive and I'm not sure he will complete his A Levels there. I'm going to apply for an EHCP as I think he may end up needing to do online A Levels and I know that process well (2 other DC with EHCPs).

I'm very conscious I've crashed in with a not great sounding update, but I actually feel DS2 now on the right path for him, and it's a lot better than I make it sound(!).

Awww @PennywisePoundFoolish
I am so sorry to hear about DS.
You are a brave and a great mum. Please do not beat yourself up.

DD is also struggling big time. She recently started antidepressants and we are going through thr initial settling period which is super hard.
We Will also have to make big decisions regarding school very soon.
So I totally get what you must be going through.

Hang in there. Our DC also have a path. They just need to figure it out and will take longer to get there.
But they will get there..and so will we..
Look after yourself please. Xx

@DarkChocHolic you are right. Our DC take little longer but will get there. They will find their way.
@PennywisePoundFoolish do look after yourself. You are brave. I also think, I should have gone through diagnosis process earlier for Ds and yet to get EHCP. I battled with CAMHS and school too. Again for EHCP it will be new struggle.

So sorry that some dc are struggling. Elder ds really suffered with his mental health, resat year 12 and then went to uni in sept 2020, so very covid and it all got worse. BUT he is now 23, has a lovely gf and is doing his MRes. He is doing well, mostly happy and we have got him through. When he passed his degree i felt absolute relief!!! Just do as you are doing, be there, listen and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Huge sympathy, @PennywisePoundFoolish. When my DD was in Y13, her anxiety spiralled out of control and she worked from home from around February of her exam year. She didn't want to go on medication until after her A-levels in case they messed up her concentration, although she worked with a private therapist. Now she's on medication, at university, and "adulting" extremely well, it's like she's a new person. So sometimes things do work out well in the end.

DS (in Y12) is as busy as ever. He seems to be doing a zillion things while still managing to keep on top of his work. School is starting to push them to think about university stuff, we'll probably start research in earnest in the new year.

Sorry to hear your son is not having a good time at present @PennywisePoundFoolish but good to hear that a path is forming. You’ve certainly not let him down - we do the best we can considering this is a path we’ve not trodden on before either.

As has been said, our DC will get there as well, maybe not as straightforward a route as A levels at 18 then uni but that doesn’t matter.

Glad it’s going well @Rowgtfc72 .

Just checking in and wondering how everyone is doing? @PennywisePoundFoolish , I hope things are improving for your son.

Limping towards the end of term here - DD very run-down, has had several days off ill over the last few weeks which is very unlike her. (I think she's probably just had Covid.) But aside from that, she is really enjoying college, getting involved and working hard. 20% of the way through her course already (IB finishes earlier than A Levels)!

Hope you are all doing OK and looking forward to the change/rest of the holidays.

Also hope your sons doing better @PennywisePoundFoolish .
Same thing here @thewalrus , two days off sick, tested positive for covid though. She's realised if you're off sick from work, you don't get paid, and has decided the system is very unfair!
She has her works Christmas do this weekend involving restaurants and pubs. Hope they remember she's 16.

Yes, definitely a disappointing flip side of earning your own money @Rowgtfc72 ! Hope she's better now/soon. DD missed two shifts of her part-time job and was fed up at losing the money too. Hope she (safely) enjoys the Christmas do!

DD is poorly too, there seems to be a lot of it going around! It's end of term here so at least she will get a rest soon. I need a rest too!

Hope all the germs disappear before Christmas - my ds has had a stinking cold, which he's kindly shared with me 🙄

poorly house here too!! Ds has had mocks and said they were difficult. They did bring some therapy dogs in for them which he said was fun. He is ready for a break! Hope all get better soon.

Get well soon, everyone!

We have the dates for the next away at college. Four nights, five days this time. And my birthday is the same time and we've always had birthdays together. Stark reminder she's definitely her own person now.
She has her work meal out tonight. Also two hampers from work, massive one from the boss who said with a smile to give the alcohol to your parents, and a smaller more expensive corporate one where I had to explain the contents, pate, chilli nuts, posh crackers, posh wine and prosecco.
And a £50 gift voucher.
( am I too old for an apprenticeship?😁)
This week she's been signed off on discs and brake pads. Did them all on her own. She was proud of herself.

Hope your young people have a well earned break from studies over the next couple of weeks and that everyone has a lovely Christmas.

How lovely! Hampers sound amazing!

@Rowgtfc72 wow, that’s amazing and lots of Xmas treats! We get a 2 tins of chocolates to share with the whole team (about 10-13 of us) at my work 😄.

My two are doing ok, my DS in 6th form is still overloaded with work. I think it’s the subjects that he chose. The other is cruising on a 3 day college week 😁.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and new year! 🎄

@Rowgtfc72 lovely to hear how well your DD is getting on. Gives me inspiration for my younger DD who is already following a different educational road after dropping out of MS school this term sadly.
Eldest DD is doing well at college her progress report this week was positive just one subject under where she’d like it but it’s hard to tell as that morning of the assessment test the train wasn’t running and the bus was very delayed so she got there an 1.5hr after planned & was rather stressed. She’s exhausted though after lots of extra sports training including a big competition and now Christmas show all weekend. I think Monday will be day in bed sleeping! It can’t come soon enough for her. She actually gets 2 whole training sessions cancelled at Xmas whoop.

@SummerChilling dd does karate and is up for her black belt next but that's gone by the wayside since her apprenticeship started.
She's a bright kid but not a sitting at a desk and learning sort of kid. She's excelling learning by doing.

Well term 1 all done!!! We are waiting for results of mocks which will be in January. Ds very tired, think it has felt like a long slog. Hope everyone has a good Christmas!

What a difference it makes when they get to study the things they are most interested in. Couldn’t get DS to revise for GCSEs a year ago, this year he’s organising his notes in the Christmas holidays.

Hope everyone has a relaxing Christmas!

Hello all, here's to Term 1 being completed

DS2 is very upset and disappointed with his recent test results D Biology and E maths. Given he was 50% attendance in Yr11 and currently 60% Yr12, I think he's doing well, but it's not my opinion that matters. It does give me a focus for the EHCP application and what support needed. I've now got the psychiatrist report and just had an independent OT assessment so will get the application submitted in the new year. I know they'll refuse but I'm used to the appeal dance.

Relations with the school are at an all time low as I reacted badly to an email complaining about me not being able to bring him in for 1 lesson 1 week. I'm really barely holding it together and it pushed me over the edge.

Generally DS2 does seem a bit brighter, he's in a good routine with his medication and no side effects yet. Dose increases next week but still lower than the NHS starting dose.

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas

@PennywisePoundFoolish I think giving the school short shrift if they're being dramatic over DS2 missing one lesson sounds rather reasonable TBH. I hope a break from school for a bit is helpful, and fingers crossed that a meds review is too.

Last concert and end of term was at lunchtime today for DC1. We're both giving in to low level tiredness and flopping in front of an ancient DVD of The Box of Delights. She's no plans for any work over Christmas, and I think the break should do her some good. I hope Christmas provides a welcome break for everyone for a few days at least. Merry Christmas

@PennywisePoundFoolish I hope your ds has a good break, things are sounding a bit more positive for you I think. D and an E are passes. I appreciate it was a million years ago and times have changed but I got a BA hons with a D and 2 Es. And he's only been in for half the time, and it's only term 1. Slow and steady keeping his mental health intact seems a good idea.

My ds also getting low grades in Chemistry at the moment but alot of time to improve and like said about D and E are still passes.