DS is not sure if he wants to go to uni in September

[Laburnam]

He is really questioning whether it’s something he really wants to do, he isn’t feeling excited by the prospect of going. He isn’t keen to take a year out . Any suggestions are met with no and he just seems stuck, he is dreading results day as it will mean decisions will have to be made

Awww I was in your position this time lasts year with my 17 year old DS
He deferred his place an Uni, the night before due to start. He felt too young, and overwhelmed. He took some time to mull over options, and with encouragement got a job in admin at local hospital. In less than a year he’s changed so much, grown in confidence and seen a bit of real life. Earned and saved so I really thought now he’s got regular cash coming in he won’t want to study. However it’s the opposite, he doesn’t want a 9-5 job and has taken up his place to start again in Sept. He’s a different lad.
Taking some time to think and chill is definitely the right plan .

University shouldn't be the default choice unless they find something else to do. They should only go to university if they have a genuine interest in the subject, want to spend 3 years studying it intensely, and want to follow a related career path.

Otherwise, it's just a very expensive 3 years when they could have been working elsewhere, gaining real life experience, and working their way up within a company.

If he's not sure, he shouldn't do it. He can always go in the future if he changes his mind.

We live in greater London he's 30 now and brought his home 4 years ago.

He referred to it as debt when he was looking at Uni at 18. Is apprenticeship finished at 21 he got a new job then went on a 6 week holiday to Thailand Australia new Zealand and the US before starting he was earning £50k a year later his graduate mates from Grammar didn't earn that. Obviously he earns more now.

On less than £50,000 a year? That would not buy much, even 4 years ago. Well done him though.

@ManchesterLu You do realise many degrees don’t have a defined related career path? They are not all vocational, and neither should they be. Academic degrees are gateways. They open doors. Not every job expects pre trained applicants. Lots of workplaces benefit from a wide variety of grads. Different ways of thinking and solving problems often makes employers stronger and better without “group think”.

My son was moody and difficult during this period and eventually said he wasn’t ready and deferred a year. When we spoke to the uni they said they felt that the difference the year made was immense and the drop out rate of the older ones was tiny by comparison and they recommended it.

He worked for 6 months and travelled for 6 months and returned a different person, raring to get to university having met so many people on his travels who had finished and had loved it.
He never looked back.

If your son doesn’t want to go to uni or defer, what does he think his options are?

What did your son decide to do? We are having the very same thing with our daughter. I think she's going to have a year out, but it's been a stressful time deciding!

Following - my dd is also in the same position.
She failed part of 1st year and been offered a 2nd semester resit but after Xmas.
She's in turmoil what to do, she's not sure she wants to resist at all and instead maybe drop out of uni to work and reassess her plans.
Stressful times at the moment but am sure she will choose what's right for her (so hard to see them feeling that stress though).
Reassuring to see others in similar situations and their dc is doing well now.