Thread 32 - Corona Cohort 'May' the Mumsnet force be with them for their venture to exams

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous Thread 31

CONGRATULATIONS ZEBRACAT !

Sending positive vibes to all sitting exams today! 🍀

Good luck everyone 🍀

Shimy, DD has executive function issues and struggles with time management (she can't actually read the time), so I totally empathise. She has 25% extra time - no stigma at all, as there is a whole bunch of kids who have the same and take exams in a different room. I'd really encourage your DS to reconsider for uni; extra time applies to all exams, not just public.
There is an Unjaded Jade video on YouTube which is a diary of her A level exams. She is inconsolable after one exam, because she completely messed up timings and ended up running out of time and not answering a whole swathe of questions. Nevertheless, she ended up getting A*, so don't despair - all is not lost.

Ahh thanks all. It is slightly irritating as the next exam isn't until Mon after half term. Hers are quite spaced out.

@Volterra I doubt DS would want to float the extenuating circumstances idea because to him he’ll be tormenting himself with the thought he didn’t get in on merit. No amount of rationalising it will help, he didn’t want to apply for DSA either but he did in the end but with great difficulty.

@Alsoplayspiccolo I fought a bit for DS to get extra time bearing in mind he has quite a few conditions but SEN co ordination said she met with him and didn’t feel he needed it. Despite having run out of time in so many exams, but DS works really hard to compensate for all this and has emerged as an A type student, so they feel he doesn’t need it.

I love Unjaded Jade by the way I think she’s great, along with Eve Bennet, Jack Edwards and Ibz.

That’s really difficult if he won’t do it Shimy. I was surprised DS agreed and he hasn’t actually done it yet but luckily he responded well to looking at it as an insurance policy. Is his insurance lower and is he ok about going there - hopefully he won’t need to .

@shimy dd is similar in that she can still get As despite not finishing papers so they assume she doesn’t need extra time. He’s done really well to compensate, but he’s effectively having to reach a higher standard in the questions he answers than those who get an A across the whole paper.

Does anyone know how students go about getting modifications like a separate room and rest breaks at university?

I can't comment on the exec function challenges Shimy, but much sympathy on the shoulder type issues. We are several MRI and physio sessions down, resulting in steroid jabs to try and ease the chronic pain. Ultimately, whilst it will not be the same injury, the continuous clicking, gristle type grinding is down (in DD's case) the the mis-aligning of scar tissue fusion from the original tear/original overloading from repetitive strain of swimming. Getting them to do stretch exercises at this stressful time, not easy; I hope your DS gets to the bottom of his injury.

So sorry to hear of health issues and overwrought ness. Heard nothing at all about psychology except that it went well and both pens ran out of ink, so she had to ask for one . She wouldnt have been able to do that 2 years ago. But I felt really guilty that I hadn’t checked her pens.
She isincredibly relaxed, laughing and helping to wash up, chatting with friends online. She has a psychologist appointment today, and asked if we could shop for teachers presents afterwards, I gently reminded her that she has History tomorrow!
Maybe we are in the eye of the storm.

Sorry to hear about difficult starts and stressed DC.

DS was very quiet today when I gave him a lift part of the way to school. He has done all the Physics past papers available but there was 1 question on a bit of syllabus he didn't remember (worth 4 marks, so medium importance). He has got A/A* on all the past papers, even the one with the dodgy question, but is still worrying about getting lots of questions on areas he hasn't covered. If he misses the A it will be for the same reason as some the other DC here - exam nerves causing brain fog. It is really unlucky that he starts with a clash, so a day of 2 exams and isolation between, although fortunately there is another boy doing Physics and PE who will isolate with him. He is supposed to have a Maths lesson this afternoon, but is coming home to revise for Physics and PE tomorrow.

Final day of school on Friday, then study leave. He is doing an orchestra camping weekend which he loves at the beginning of half term, which should help give his brain a rest from studying . He was really excited when they announced that they would be doing Scheherazade - he has very mixed musical tastes!

I'm with you, Crazy - the issue of extra time isn't about doing "well enough", e.g. getting an A, but about being giving the opportunity to do their very best, by levelling the playing field.
DD's bff has epilepsy. She gets 50% extra time, because she simply can't work at the sort of intensity time-pressure requires. In her mocks, she got the highest score in the year for her first English lit essay, but the lowest in the second because her brain just couldn't cope.

Regarding extra time at uni, I'm guessing that might arise out of DSA assessment, or, if not, the uni's disability services?

Yep contact student support services direct. My DD gets to use a keyboard and gets rest breaks due to some sort of function issue - if writing quickly, the words come out in the wrong order, but not if she types. We spoke to UEA about it and they said that similar could be arranged without dx if school records could be supplied. Obviously there is no cost to this, but if a mentor or something was required I assume that would mean DSA application.

Shimy, Crazy and all others I totally understand. Ds1 refuses help, doesn't want to tell Uni of his childhood diagnosis. Won't entertain idea of DSA. Copes, so it looks like he's coping. But underneath.....

I am getting very cross on behalf of all these DC who are denied support because in spite of their difficulties they can get an A. Why are they not helped to fulfil their actual potential like everyone else, it's outrageous. Who decides that an A is good enough and why is it good enough for someone who with proper support could get an A*?

The camping music trip sounds just ideal Monkey, timing wise too. As much as your DS2 handles his knock backs/holding position well, it must take its toll. DD has a music tour to Italy early July, with what she describes as an awesome mix from upper school years. I am so grateful for the wider benefits music brings to those who participate. Across all genres.

I am still aghast as to why many of your DCs’ schools/colleges think it’s a good idea to still have them in school/lessons whilst exam sessions have begun.

singing, I’ve been talking to a poster from the secondary education board, whose son has poor working memory and low processing speed scores, almost certainly ADHD as his father has been diagnosed, but school refuse to put support in place because he’s “not naughty”.

We moved DD from state secondary because her “ outstanding” school told us that they didn’t “see” her SEN, despite a formal diagnosis and supporting evidence from various agencies, like OT, SaLT, Ed. psych. etc.

It makes me feel murderous.

Oh dear, text from DD and apparently English 'wasn't great'. Its her least favourite subject, that she's revised the least, so it's not particulary surprising

Fingers crossed for Further Maths!

Ds has done two papers now. Seems happy enough with how they went.

@ealingwestmum We hold warm up sessions before exams at the school I work at but normal lessons are finished I think. I wish they would let them wear comfy clothes rather than uniform!

Sorry to hear about your Ds’ struggles @Shimy I’m pretty sure I have inattentive ADHD but of course it was not known about when I was at school in the dark ages. I think I would find exams a bit easier nowadays, especially at uni, as you don’t seem to have to memorise loads of formula etc. but it’s pretty common to go under the radar if you are reasonably bright & well behaved.

Lovely to read the updates about exams that have gone well. Sending hugs to those where things aren't going to plan, it's so hard to support them at the moment as their stress levels are off the scale.

DD has extra time, rest breaks, increased print size and is given a large table to work from as her exams are A3. Its so hard to get support - I swear it's a part time job. Schools ought to make it easy but they don't. We were told for years that there was nothing wrong with DD by the admin at the school, despite teachers calling us in from year 1 saying there was an issue. It was bizarre - management team were awful, teachers having 'off the record' conversations with us. It was like they didn't want her to be diagnosed. I just don't get it.

DD had a bit of a melt down last night, decided she's not done enough revision. I think it's stress, as you can always tell yourself you should have done more. I've pointed out she can increase her revision if she wants to, and suggested she calculate the maximum number of hours of revision she can do before exams if she wants to see just how much extra work she can do. Hopefully it will calm her down. I really think 4-5 hours a day is enough at this stage!

@Alsoplayspiccolo @Wheresthebeach weirdly, ds’ grammar school, with very little experience of adhd, have been great with him. He was given extra time, his own room, rest breaks no problem, and he was allowed to drop two subjects in October. Maybe they paid more attention as he was naughty, unfortunately 😫

He’s moving to an outstanding comp for sixth form and I’m already a bit worried that there will be more resistance there.

Sorry to hear the exam didn’t go great @mango0 . Just remind her she has another 1/2 papers to pull her grade up. 4-5 hours is definitely enough @Wheresthebeach , although dd is doing a long day today to compensate for being behind.

Awful, Also. A school equating ND traits with naughtiness has me infuriated all over again. Seems like the best approach for these DC would be to chuck a few chairs around once in a while so that they can access the help they deserve. Unbelievable that trying their best, masking, managing to do amazing things despite their difficulties = less help and everything harder for them.
(I feel strongly about this as I have just been diagnosed ASC myself.)

Thanks all for your commiserations.

@Volterra His insurance is lower but only if he gets a B in Core Maths. I’m a bit nervous about that because DS has studied the syllabus all by himself and is sitting it as a private candidate. I’m praying he gets B minimum, that will mean he needs AAB.

@crazycrofter I agree. They should get extra time simply because they have adhd and that shouldn’t be based on what grades they’ve got. Infact DS has multiple reasons to get extra time but well, it’s all too late now. Haven’t heard from him about Todays paper yet, just ping for the best.

@ealingwestmum The it’s so frustrating trying to get a diagnoses trauma & ortho related because it could be so many things. What you described in your dd’s Case sounds like it could be the case with DS. Constant grinding etc, now he’s having the noises on the other uninjured side. In ds’s words, he feels like, “an unoiled engine”. He does work out regularly and so that may have made things worse? We are awaiting another MRI, this one will be with dye, that helps to see inside better.

@Oblomov22 Ds hates anyone knowing about his conditions. I think his aversion to talking freely about it started in prep school where on several occasions teachers had shouted at him in front of the whole class “ShimyJnr, have you used your medication TODAY?’, once a teacher actually said,”Have you used your SILLY pills?”, referring to his adhd med. form then onwards he refused to discuss his condition with any teachers or on forms etc. He was terrified when I told him he needs to apply for dsa for Unis day asked if his lecturers might talk loudly about the fact or ask about his meds in a full lecture theatre.

Really hope insurance isn’t necessary but Maths as I understand it is something that is pretty ok to self study. Fingers crossed everything goes ok for him.

That makes total sense if the warm up lessons are related to the imminent exam Decorhate.

I wish you all the best with it Shimy, I went private in the end as she was so down with it all, and yes, the deferred pain to other areas just goes on and on. What a horrific response your DS has had from past teachers; we all know comments like he’s received we’re prevalent in our times, but so disappointing it’s there in their school years too.