Thread 30 Covid Cohort, Mad March Hareing Towards Exams

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous thread 29

I've made this one a little bit earlier as things are so busy, at home and on thread, so please feel free to use up previous thread first

@Isthisjustnormal - I was about to post similar to others - that they will be lots of people with different interests at Uni, they are bound to be those who like deeper chats instead of chitchat etc.

DD finds her own friends annoying at times as she doesn't really do chatter and doesn't understand why they would want to talk so much crap :-)

@crazycrofter - I've sent you a PM with a link to a photo of the fridge/freezer in 1 of the halls.

@Monkey2001 It wasn't a massive concern of DDs being judged as such but she does like to fit in and I think wondered about it more than worried. She had read a lot of chatter on social media that everyone hates Rutland (not the people in it, just as a college). I hadn't even thought about the reason but told her I had assumed it was because it was well known for being a very social college especially due to the layout meaning not just friends with your flat but the whole building.

I thinks DDs issue will be Rutland only has single beds so I suspect when she realises that it will cause a problem. She has had a double bed since about 8 yrs old....

Thanks @Monkey2001 I’ll get her to have a look.

Thank you Monkey for that menu list.

Ds told me off today. Told me all I keep doing is repeating things he already knows. I was asking about the PwC phonecall the he will (desperately hoping) he gets today. To confirm Nottingham, but to tell them he is away for open day on 6th, and to ask if he gets reading, because he's already been invited to their open day next week, but no good going if he hasn't got an offer / the choice of the 2. He said he was all 'universit'ed' out after going to Durham. Emotionally.

And now he can't emotionally bare yo go through the same process, visiting and choosing accommodation for Nottingham. Durham was always his first choice. But only because he didn't dare to dream yet that he'd actually get offered PwC Nottingham.

I explained that whilst I understood, he had more on his plate than other students who 'only' need to choose which Uni, he has to get on with it!

As you know I am Judith Chalmers, so I've already watched practically every video I can on Nottingham and busy sizing up accommodation. Phew. It's all like a full time job.

And yes what a nice thread it is. Thank God I've got you lot!

Interesting that catered Nottingham breakfast is served 7.30 - 12am.

At Durham it was 8-10, 12-2, and then I can't remember what time dinner was. Ds likes to get up at 6am, do stretches, then sometimes go for a run. He makes porridge early, so eating so late wouldn't suit. And if you need to be in a lecture at 9am, running breakfast till 10 won't suit.

Thanks all - we did talk yesterday about the fact that people are in ‘moving up’ mode so perhaps starting to let go of friendships a little but that idea of finding your tribe being easier at uni is a good one to sell him, thanks. He’s actually got some lovely mates and sometimes I think his expectations are very high: he is very conscious of others feelings (perhaps because he has to try hard in order to understand them) and gets really frustrated when other people don’t put the same amount of effort in for him!

He online games a lot with his gang but hasn’t really ventured outside that @Volterra so might suggest that. He was just so down yesterday it was really hard and hard to imagine too how he’ll cope in that situation at uni without us there to bolster him…

isthisjustnormal, it’s so hard to hear your DC say they feel lonely/excluded, isn’t it?
DD said similar last week; she doesn’t feel important to any of her friends, apparently. I had a long chat with her, suggesting she tries to initiate things, like going for a coffee in a free period, or texting to see how friends she doesn’t see all the time are, and told her what Monkey has said - that I have kept in touch with a couple of friends from primary school, a handful from secondary/6th form, and a lot more from music college.

It sounds like your DS might find one-to-one situations easier to navigate than group dynamics (thinking about his big conversations). Is there anyone particular you could suggest he does something with?

You are absolutely right @Alsoplayspiccolo - he definitely finds 1-2-1 easier and I actually suggested he set up some with those people he really enjoys being around so he’s got a plan for that for next weekend. I can totally see though that when you are feeling more isolated it’s a much harder job to reach out to others and make the first move. Thanks - it’s really readying to know others are facing similar - and giving similar advice!

Strangely @Isthisjustnormal I relate to how your son feels even though my kids are totally different- I often struggle to relate to their need to be sociable and round lots of people all the time! I also prefer one to one and I think if he’s like that, it’s important for him to recognise his preferences and his personality, so that he doesn’t feel upset if everyone is out partying all the time - he can just tell himself that he’s not like that, but feel confident enough to arrange his one to one meet ups.

I’m like you, crazy - I find being among a lot of people exhausting and need regular time alone. I’m not antisocial; I just prefer good conversations with close friends to buzzy small talk in a large group.
I do sometimes feel envious when I see photos of “mum gangs” going here, there and everywhere together, but at the same time, I know that’s not really my thing.
DD wants to be where it’s all happening, but she also says that she finds being “on” with other people for long periods of time exhausting; when she went away with friends for a weekend, she had to take herself off to her bedroom for some respite.
I wonder if it’s because she’s neurodiverse and her brain energy gets burned out quicker than other people.

@singingstones

Well, turns out the teacher has been arrested for possession of indecent images, unfortunately. Nothing to do with the school or any of the pupils though. I feel for his wife, who also works at the school and has taught both DC in the past. She seemed very nice 🙁

Oh dear. That was my first thought. I can’t tell you how stuffed the courts are with these cases at the moments. There seems to be almost nothing else except indecent images with a side order of sexual assaults/rapes.

OK so this afternoon, DS ran through his acomodation choices and I persuaded him to have a second and third option. All good.

So my question is do they need to have applied for the finance before they can get accommodation or is it just a small deposit situation?

isit sorry to read that you’re DS is feeling that way. As the others say University will have lots more people to choose from and a lot more interesting things to do and join. DD is similar in that she hates big parties and when we are with friends for a weekend she has to take herself off to read quietly to ground herself. She gets it from me…doesn’t make it easy though.

Accommodation and finance seperate @ChristopherTracy. Try and get the Student finance online stuff filled in sooner rather than later. Usually £200-300 deposit but not til much later and it you have not got the funds to do this - contact accommodation team and they will sort something for your child.

@singingstones so awful, and yes it always is the poor families of victims and perpetrator I feel sorry for. Isn't there enough suffering in this world?

Morning all - we are off to visit Bristol Uni today for an offer holders' day. DD is trying to narrow down her insurance choices, as she still wants to firm Warwick (at the moment...).

Hope you all have a great day!

Good luck @HarrietDVane Hope all goes well. I do love Bristol, I grew up about 1hr away. Unfortunately DD thought it was too far from here and didn't apply. Lovely day for it :-)

We were impressed with the offer holder day, just wish we had been able to see inside accommodation.

Have a lovely time in Bristol Harriet - hope its sunny and warm.

I hope those of you heading for Bristol today have a good day, these things are always nicer in the sunshine I feel.
Well, dd has pressed the button this morning after much angst and discussion. She’s firmed RHUL on BBB. She was very stressed that it’s not seen as one of the most prestigious places but she likes the look of the course and I think the place suits her personality and fairly quiet nature. So very different to where DS will probably end up in a few years time! I am pleased she’s made the decision now and can just focus on school work. I just hope her friends are supportive of her decision as their opinions seem to matter so much to her. They are all very RG/Oxbride focussed and see any thing less as ‘a bit rubbish’.

Have a brilliant day in Bristol everyone.
It's a fab place to be a student.

cariad, we’re thinking the same way here.
RHUL could well be the perfect choice for DD; the course is perfect and she could go on BBB/ABC, or move onto foundation if she drops to CCC on results day.
There’s a lot to be said for firming it now, knowing she’ll almost certainly get the grades to go BUT a part of her feels it’s a less aspirational choice; she wants to be good enough to go to Birmingham, even though the course she’s chosen doesn’t excite her as much.

It’s really hard when all you seem to hear is RG, RG, RG, even knowing that RG isn’t the best choice for a lot of courses.

Well done to your dd @cariadambyth for making the decision that’s best for her! Dd has the same sort of pressure and succumbed!

Someone on WIWIKAU DS has just has an offer from Imperial College London doing Aerospace Engineering for AAAA (4s)! - wonder if it's his backup ;-)

well done @cariadambyth on the button pushing (we need an icon for that).