Thread 29 - Covid Cohort - Whirlwinds and Waiting

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous thread 28

Thank you all, this is very helpful.

@cantonet, it’s interesting how differently it can present. Ds was never really a problem at home, and I wouldn’t have described him as ‘hyperactive’ so ADHD never occurred to me. I thought he could concentrate as he could focus on building a Lego set for about 8 hours at age 6 (never mind that he couldn’t listen to a story or concentrate at all on a whole host of other things). I’d never heard that the ability to ‘hyper-focus’ on particular interests can be an adhd thing.

I’m grateful that ds hasn’t experienced much anxiety or depression, maybe because he’s not in any way a conformist or eager to please (I wish he was!).

I’m interested to hear the long acting medication works for yours. I’m hoping to get ds to try it before sixth form. Are your kids coping better generally now?

Good luck with it all @JustHereWithMyPopcorn. Unfortunately it’s a real battle!

A lot lot better @Crazycrofter.
There is hope after a very difficult time for us. Just one interesting thing is that ADHD drugs have been shown to decrease anxiety & depression in individuals. As untreated it's very common in ADHD. As are neurodiverse issues.

Ooh, this is really interesting! Ds is autistic (NHS diagnosis after a long and lengthy back and forth process over years) and dyslexic (private diagnosis) and dd suspects she may have inattentive ADHD - I need to look into getting a referral for her. Any recommendations for starting points for reading on teenage girls?? (Or recommendations good private assessments around Surrey/london borders)

@Zebracat

Anyone else going to the Warwick offer holders day? I’ll be the old woman in the orange coat, but if if you say hello, please don’t mention Mumsnet, it’s “ problematic” as they say, in our house.

We can't as it clashes with Bristol!

@crazycrofter my assumptions of the hyper part was the same as yours. DS2 is also a lego person and would spend hours doing it. He now spends hours crafting and modelling on his own in fantastic detail which ties in with the hyper focus thing I think.

Apologies,JustHere, I’m not well today and didn’t read properly, so assumed your were talking about your year 13 DC.
Definitely not too late to get things in motion in year 9. An engaged SENCo will be able to run baseline tests, or refer to Ed. psych.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn for ds the ‘hyper’ bit involves impulsiveness and acting without thinking. But you can have ADD without the H. Ds tends to move from one hyper-focus to another every 6 months to a year. He’s been through trampolining tricks, table tennis, piano, film watching, martial arts etc. He gives so much focus to that interest and develops really quickly/ learns loads .. and then suddenly drops it (although often it will cycle round again). I’ve read that this is also an ADHD thing, whereas autistic people have long standing obsessions, but I think there’s a lot of overlap and a lot of the sites encourage you to view the ability to hyper focus as a ‘superpower’ and channel it!

Sorry to hear about the Warwick rejection just but good that he is happy with Nottingham, which is great for Law.

@Alsoplayspiccolo sorry that you're not well, hope you feel better soon. I was thinking you meant because it takes so flipping long to get anything sorted that Yr9 was too late.

@crazycrofter I actually love his craft stuff, he's very artistic and imaginative and it makes him happy. It also gets him off his Switch and phone which is a positive. He does jump around with ideas a lot, the latest thing is he's desperate to design a board game and keeps trying to make me participate!

Thank you @Piggywaspushed

Sounds very like ADHD @JustHereWithMyPopcorn! His creativity sounds great! To be fair to ds, he’s kept the gym regime up for more than a year now. I keep expecting it to fall by the wayside!

Dd is attempting a double bill of two 18th birthday parties tonight, one for a friend from her old school and the other for new school friends. She says the venues are close to each other (although half an hour from here) so she can get to the second one in an Uber in 8 minutes! Different dress code at each too so she’ll have to do a quick switch, dressy for the first one, 70s for the second. Sounds stressful to me!

I suspect DH has the inattentive sort of ADHD. He does the hyper-focus for a year and move on totally thing with his hobbies, has a brain like a sieve for the boring stuff (can't cope with paperwork much at all, I do virtually all of it). He also gets totally absorbed at work and doesn't remember that for example he's supposed to be going out that night without a phone reminder, goes to the shop and comes back without the thing he went for but will never use aids such as lists and notes. Also struggles to remember things like place names (even if immediately local and we've lived her for years).

@Alsoplayspiccolo

It's too late for things like extra time in exams, but you could ask about rest breaks and small room invigilation, JustHere. DD has these and they are something the school can permit without needing to apply to the JEC. She also has a prompt, to keep her focused.

Is there a deadline that makes it too late @Alsoplayspiccolo? I'm worried now. DD had a diagnosis a couple of weeks ago, and school have said it was in plenty of time for exams. Is there somewhere on line I could check? I don't entirely trust her SENCO.

@aclosematch JCQ deadline for summer exam series is 31st March. They do accept late applications, but they are not adviced.

Thanks @Hattifatteners we will just have made it then. I'm glad I didn't know we were cutting it that fine!

Good luck to your DDs multi tasking party going @crazycrofter

@eventually my Dad was reading up on ADHD & out of Interest completed the attached diagnostic quiz which resulted in a positive. He's a retired hospital consultant who used to forget to pick us up from school & never remembered to pay the bills on time. My Mum spent her life running around after him & us 4 😂.

DH also has severe ADHD I think.
Works all the time & leaves everything else up to me - also with 4 kids 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Cantonet you and your mum must be exhausted! 😮😄

😂

DH has discovered he’s got ADHD, on the back of DD’s diagnosis.
I AM exhausted a lot of the time, because of it - more mentally exhausted than anything, because I have to be on top of everything and remember everything for everyone in the family.

Unfortunately, the attitude towards DH from health professionals is generally, “ Well, you’ve got this far in life, so you’ve obviously found strategies to cope,” which is really frustrating; if you had one leg, you’d find a way to cope but it doesn’t mean life wouldn’t be a whole lot easier with crutches.

When I said it was too late to arrange access arrangements for exams, I meant it was too late to be referred for assessment AND implement reasonable adjustments.
As it is, it’s cutting it really fine, even with a diagnosis in hand, as you have to be able to evidence that any adjustments, eg extra time, are the candidate’s normal way of working.

@Alsoplayspiccolo mental exhaustion is worse than physical exhaustion which a good rest can cure. It’s not just the constant juggling, it’s also the constant worrying.

JustHere, yes, that’s exactly it - I feel like I’m on high alert most of the time, which a good night’s sleep (what’s that…?) doesn’t relieve.

I also have Crohn’s disease, which comes with horrible fatigue and is exacerbated by stress.
If I survive exam season in one piece, I’ll be over the moon.

That's me too, I can never switch off because I'm the one who knows exactly what's going on for everyone, all the time. DH thinks he pulls his weight because he does pretty well anything I ask him to but he doesn't do any of the thinking and planning and TBH it is really draining. Especially as he has refused point blank to look into the possibility of ADHD.

Me too @EventuallyDelighted and @Alsoplayspiccolo. Dh definitely has traits of autism and ADHD and he also has complex PTSD, so managing his own life is a struggle and I support him a lot. I’m definitely the only one who knows what’s going on and plans everything! I’m managing much better though now I’m in a lower pressure job, even though it’s full-time. The next few months are going to be a challenge though, with 2x exams and hopefully moving house/relocating. I’m trying to take it a day at a time!