Thread 29 - Covid Cohort - Whirlwinds and Waiting

[OrangeCinnamonCroissant]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

previous thread 28

@EwwSprouts Some unis will automatically put you on the BSc course if you don’t make grades for MSci. So DD firmed Birmingham which wanted AAB from her but if she got ABB, they would put her on the BSc course and she wouldn’t have to go to her insurance. Not all unis do this but if your insurance choice does, you can still safely put MSCi knowing there’s a BSc safety net.

Blue That's what Southampton is doing for the Marine Biology MSci...not that I think DD will end up there now. When DH was at the open day they said that DD needed to email in saying that's what she wanted them to do, and then it would be automatically done.

@Wheresthebeach DD feels like she needs lots of safety nets as she’s worried about actually sitting the exams now. She did badly (as in not good enough for Birmingham) in her recent class tests.

@22Newnames our school is not private.

@Monkey2001 I think I mentioned this before but our school won't give you a predicted grade unless you are achieving that grade in testing or general work (essays for History and English). It's very frustrating.

Anyone else going to the Warwick offer holders day? I’ll be the old woman in the orange coat, but if if you say hello, please don’t mention Mumsnet, it’s “ problematic” as they say, in our house.

@Zebracat

Anyone else going to the Warwick offer holders day? I’ll be the old woman in the orange coat, but if if you say hello, please don’t mention Mumsnet, it’s “ problematic” as they say, in our house.

Nope 😂

@Zebracat DS refuses to go to the Warwick offer holders day because he played football there about 6 years ago so has seen it 🤷 Any feedback would be appreciated 😁

@EventuallyDelighted

Speech day at DS's school is really an award giving day, although the headteacher and usually an invited guest make speeches too. It's not GCSE and A level awards but individual attainment awards, sports cups, then a few special awards plus announcement of the new head boy.

In good news, DS's DSA application was approved this evening. Now we need to book him an assessment.

Great news on the DSA approval, DDs also came through yesterday. Hopefully we’ll book the assessment soon too.

@Zebracat - nope, DS only got the invite yesterday for tomorrow. He currently has COVID so we won't be going. We have been to an open day and looked round the facilities so not the end of the world but I would hope there may be another offer holders day. At the moment, it is his favourite although would be bumped if Bath or Durham offer.

Can I ask a question about school testing for dyslexia/dyspraxia/ADHD please. How did those with DCs with a diagnosis of these get the school to test or did the school instigate it. DS2 definitely has at least one of these (I suspect all three) but school seem reluctant to test generally despite having a report from when he was at junior school.

What do you mean by school testing @JustHereWithMyPopcorn? You’d need him to be diagnosed by a professional first. Are you thinking about exam arrangements?

Ds has ADHD but his school didn’t pick up on it or suggest an assessment- but when he had his assessment by a psychiatrist, the school had to fill in a questionnaire about him.

@justhere you have to have a referral from your Gp for testing for Adhd. In some areas this can take up to 2 years. Or go privately via self referral. In our area this starts at £850 for an ADHD assessment for the initial consultation plus monthly reviews at £200 a pop plus up to £100 for the ADHD meds. Then if you're lucky your Gp will agree to take over the prescribing, via a shared care agreement. Not all Gps will do that now.

   For Dyslexia most schools will do an initial screening test and Senco's can recommend a test place or sometimes they will come to schools to batch test.

Not sure re. Dyspraxia.

@crazycrofter so when we were at juniors I had him assessed privately due to dyspraxic behaviours he was displaying. The report indicated dyspraxia and dyslexia and they advised certain things including having him tested at senior school when he was pre GCSEs but the school did not like private reports and wouldn't act on them, they also wouldn't test him as he was doing too well. My issue is more to do with his emotional well being and supporting that rather than extra time on exams specifically. His anxiety levels are rising, his focus is poor and he's struggling. At school he hides things well but it all comes out at home and I genuinely believe the school have no idea that there's any issue as it's not overt.

Thanks @Cantonet that's interesting. I had always assumed ADHD was those children who got labelled naughty because they were running around at school and misbehaving in class which is the polar opposite of DS2 who is always desperate to please people. Reading a bit more about it, I see a lot of traits that would describe DS2. I really want to find ways to support him and help him cope / manage as the school work becomes more intense. He had a bad day yesterday and it has made me think about pursuing this more.

@justhere there is a crossover between dyslexia & ADHD. But in saying that I've got 3 kids with ADHD & only one with Dyslexia.
The inattentive form of Dyslexia is very rarely recognised in schools. Kids are labelled as lazy & disorganised.
Also bright kids are very good at compensating for their ADHD when younger. My dd2 didn't have any issues until year 10 - her GCSE year. I just thought she wasn't working & I put pressure on her to work harder. The same thing happened to ds2 at exactly the same stage.

Yes @Catonet, the EdPsych said to have him tested before GCSEs as the work really steps up and they find it harder to 'hide' any issues and it can start to become a problem.

Is there a good place to find resources on how I can support him with his anxiety, organisation and focus?

We picked up ds' ADHD because he was getting in trouble a lot at school for impulsive behaviour and for inattention. We tried the GP, he referred ds to somewhere, the referral bounced back because he sent it the wrong place etc etc. In the meantime I found an organisation in Birmingham that deals with mental health for 0-25 year olds which also covered ADHD and did a self-referral for him. He was seen and diagnosed within about 4 months. But I've no idea whether this is how it's done everywhere?

In terms of helping him, I'm not sure I have the answers. Self-awareness and having a label has helped ds because he's learned to understand himself. He tried the short release medication but didn't like how it made him feel. We're still waiting for him to try the other type.

At school, he focuses best if he's in sight of the teacher - near the front maybe, but not by the window, which is distracting. He also needs the teacher to double check he's heard instructions and is on task - but even now, 3 years later, some teachers don't get him or understand. Only last week his English teacher took him to see the head of English as he was 'choosing not to concentrate', despite his GCSEs being round the corner.

There's loads of resources online though.

We suspected DS had autism before he was 2. He was referred to SALT and EP and got some support in nursery and into primary school. In year 2 his teacher took me to one side and said she had a severely dyspraxic adult child and we should get DS assessed. The school nurse made the referral and it took 8 months for him to be assessed, that was by a paediatrician. Diagnosed with Asperger's and dyspraxia. He never had a proper Ed. Psych assessment till we paid for it in year 5 when going to tribunal for an EHCP. I submitted the diagnosis letter, the EP assessment, his PIP report and his EHCP for the DSA.

DD - totally different, despite the school realising something wasn't right from about y1 they did nothing. I had to get a private assessment done for dyslexia in yr 5. Her secondary school have got her extra time in exams on the back of that and their own evidence (she's y11). I will have to get another EP assessment done privately before we apply for DSA for her.

It's too late for things like extra time in exams, but you could ask about rest breaks and small room invigilation, JustHere.
DD has these and they are something the school can permit without needing to apply to the JEC. She also has a prompt, to keep her focused.

Thanks @crazycrofter and @EventuallyDelighted it all just seems like such a battle. At school he tries his absolute best to be a model student and not to draw attention to himself (as he's scared of teachers not liking him), when he comes home it's like a massive release of it all.

I think I'll try and have a chat with the SENCO at school and see if they can at least do the dyslexia testing, I'm not holding out any great hopes for anything else after hearing the hoops other people have had to jump through to get help.

@Alsoplayspiccolo He is yr9 currently, is that too late?

@justhere Add itude - an online ADHD Magazine has interesting articles & the latest research. It's free for the online version.

Other than that the only thing that has helped DD is boarding. An ordered structured environment really helps.
Plus ADHD meds. Mine were immediately put on the long lasting ones. It takes a few months to titrate up to the optimum dose. Short acting ones can be used as a top up for homework/revision.

DS1 has fairly severe ADHD. I knew we'd hit the right dose of ADHD meds in January, when he came to me to finalise his UCAS application. Nothing worked before that.
Even though his Dyslexia was diagnosed at 9.

@Crofter my kids were never naughty, loud or defiant. They were quiet, incapable of doing homework on time. Permanantly exhausted, stressed & 2 were depressed.

Inattentive ADHD can be catastrophic for teenage girls. As it's rarely picked up.
DD went from level 6's in juniors to bottom sets in Maths in year 10.

Just I think most schools can do some screening, although there are different levels of screening that SENCO's are qualified for.

We went to Helen Arkle Centre, but www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/ have a helpline if you want to talk to someone who understands it all before approaching the school.