Thread 23 Covid Cohort Stepping Into Christmas, Tests, Mocks & Interviews

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread

@20newnames/ DS / Engineering
@Alsoplayspiccolo/ DD / English + Film
@AnneofCleavage/ DD / gap year? Primary Education
@BlueMarigold/ DD / Biology
@cariadambyth/ DD / History / Southampton, Bath Spa, Warwick, RHUL
@collywobble/ DS / PPE, Economics / Lancaster (AAB)
@crazycrofter/ DD / Child (?) + Mental Health Nursing
@Decorhate/ DS / Economics + Politics
@Delphigirl/ DS / Oceanography
@DoggerelBank/ DS / tbc sciencey
@ealingwestmum/ DD / Middle Eastern and European Studies
@EerilyDisembodied/ DS / History or Environmental Management
@estherfrewen/ DS / History / Birmingham (ABB), Cardiff (ABB-BBB), Warwick (AAB)
@EwwSprouts/ DS / Biology
@Fiddlersgreen/ DS / Journalism / Bournemouth (104 pts), Brighton (BCC), Cardiff (ABB)
@Fruitygal/ DD / Biology
@Hattifatteners/ DD / Vet Med
@Heifer/ DD / Biology
@Hopeful201/ DS / Medicine
@Horace123/ DS / Classics / Edinburgh 34/665
@icanbewhatiwant/ DS / History + Philosophy
@Isthisjustnormal/ DS / Comp Sci
@JustHereWithMyPopcorn/ DS / Law
@KingscoteStaff/ DD / Medicine
@Knickerthief1/ DD / Child nursing / York
@Monkey2001/ DS / Medicine
@mummabear74/ DD / Environmental Science
@mummyinbeds/ DS / Law + French Law / Birmingham (AAA), Kent (AAB)
@Nard75/ DS / Maths
@NCTDN/ DD / Liberal Arts
@Oblomov21/ DS / Accountancy / Southampton ABB
@OrangeCinnamonCocktail/ DD / Music (uni)
@PaddingtonPaddington/ DD / Music (cons)
@Piggywaspushed/ DS / Social sciences / Birmingham (AAB-ABB), York (AAB-ABB)
@ProggyMat/ DD / Classics / Bristol (BBB), Edinburgh
@SandyBayley/ DD / Medicine
@Seeline/ DD / Liberal Arts / UEA (AAB), Kent (BBB), Nottingham (AAA)
@Shimy/ DS / Business + Management / Birmingham (AAB-ABB), Loughborough
@singingstones/ DS / Neuroscience
@Volterra/ DS / Maths
@whatsnext2/ DD / English joint hons
@Wheresthebeach/ DD / gap year? Marine Biology / Southampton, Portsmouth
@whoamitojudge/ DD / RyanAir cabin crew training
@Zebracat/ DD / Liberal Arts or Anthropology
@ZittiEBuoni/ DD / tbc applying next year

That sounds really unfortunate Piccolo. Clearly no two schools are equal on how they’ve dealt with the last 2 years.

Gosh what a shock Also, and how insensitively they are handling this. Where do they think that families who have suffered financially through Covid will magic the money from I wonder. I guess all you can do is talk to them again and if they really won't help you to spread the payments, maybe re-mortgage?

At least DD should be ok and off your books next year? (thank you Welsh Govt 🙏)

Is DS looking at a different school for next year? Would there be financial help available there which would make a short term squeeze now easier to handle?

Yes singing, thank goodness. 🙏
It’s all very complicated and I can’t go into very much detail here, but there’s a chance we can move DS to a specialist school for 6th form, which might solve some of the financial issues but obviously come with other considerations.

I was just interested to know how other schools had dealt with it; DD’s previous school allowed us to apply to their hardship fund, which was a huge help for the last term she was there.
I thought our bursary would increase for this year, in light of the loss of income, but it didn’t - presumably, renewals are only so they can reduce your bursary if you become better off.

@Alsoplayspiccolo the school response to parents' financial difficulties will depend on the reserves the school has. I used to work for the Corporation of London in Internal Audit and they were responsible for City of London Boys and Girls. They had huge reserves andvwerebvery generous with bursaries when parental circumstances change because they had a lot of old money in trusts. Smaller schools don't have such deep pockets.

I don't know whether you are considering one of the music speciality schools for your DS. We have friends whose DD had offers from Wells and Chets for 6th form. They live in Cornwall, so it was really hard for them when she chose Chets, but she absolutely loved it. The terms are shorter than state schools and there were some long weekends as well as half term. They had no doubt that it was the right decision for her.

Specialist schools can be great for financial support too. Having both DC move out at once might be difficult, but you have time to prepare yourself emotionally and if it's best for the DC, the only thing you can do is try and find the positives. Knowing that it's what the DC need and watching them flourish will get you through, and you can begin the process of gently bringing your focus more to yourself again. Here endeth the lesson.

Short term, I hope they wouldn't make DC leave at this point in Y13 / Y11? You can't pay what you haven't got, they will have to agree a payment plan with you, surely.

@Alsoplayspiccolo Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. Hope everything can be sorted out. Our school said to get in touch if issues, but I think they just offered deferred payment for a couple of months.

No, there’s no way they could make DD and DS leave now; in fact, that’s part of my upset, because we spoke to the bursar before DD joined the school, and throughout last year, and he would never say categorically that there would be no help - he kept saying that he’d know better at the end of this financial year. We could have perhaps moved both DCs at the end of the summer, if we’d known the whole situation then.

Fees aside, we’ve got very large loan and credit card debts from trying to survive for 18 months with no income, all of which the bursar is aware of, and DH’s work is still not fully recovered.

@Alsoplayspiccolo sorry to hear all that. It has been so hard for musicians.

How awful @Alsoplayspiccolo, I hope the school can be persuaded to be more helpful. Dd was at ah independent until year 11 on a 75% bursary, which was reassessed every year and if we’d declared no income it would definitely have gone up to 100%. But this is the King Edward VI foundation which has a lot of assets.

Sorry to hear about your health issues @Volterra. I hope there’s treatment to make day to day living easier.

When my parents both defaulted on school fees (don't ask...) the Rank Film Corporation took pity on me and offered me a scholarship. Are there any private bursaries like that any more?

That is quite the first sentence there Piggy

Yup! Toxic childhood specialist at your service!

Thanks for new thread and well wishes. Feel pretty beastly actually so don't think it's going to be a mild one but hopefully short lived with the shivers and high temp.
The last isolation day is Sun 21st Nov as I counted from Thursday when symptoms started.

DD has had another interview for another Uni so that's 3 out of 5 with a 4th in the offing. Her fave hasn't come in yet. So exciting but I can't help her so she's sorting it herself.

Yikes! Piggy

@Alsoplayspiccolo I hope you continue to have a constructive dialogue with the bursar or progress to the head. Our school doesn't have huge assets and froze fee levels for all last year but have put up fees this year. I think part of it is genuinely not wanting to push children out particularly in this turmoil and of course protecting reputation.

I have a friend who is trustee of a local charity that makes grants to help students heading off to university. Check for one of those?

@AnneOfCleavage Exciting for your DD, she must be delighted at the progress to date. Hope you recover quickly.

@Alsoplayspiccolo and @Volterra, yes, my DS moved to boarding at the start of this term. It is weekly boarding, I drop him off on Monday morning and pick him up on Friday afternoon. He doesn't have to board, he has been a day boy at this school since year 7 and its less than 10 miles from home, we did it purely to increase his independence in readiness for uni and because he loves his school and wanted to get the most out of his final year. His day fees are met by EHCP, we pay the boarding element. I'm not sure what provision was made for financial hardship during Covid TBH. My DD (y11) is at a different, small private school. They offered 8% discount across the board and "speak to the bursar" for cases of hardship, I'm not aware of anyone who was affected, although one girl did leave her year last year. It doesn't have deep reserves but has a very kind ethos, I hope this extended to Covid difficulties. Parents were invited to pay the full fees if they were in a position to do so to with the discounted part treated as a donation. They gave a great deal of detail about the costs the school had incurred, which staff had been furloughed etc.

As for how we've found it - well I dropped him off the night before the start of term, drove away and burst into tears, I had to spend half an hour parked in a local park sobbing. The same suddenly happened about a month later. It's not an empty nest because DD is still here but I do miss him during the week and it is a big shift in terms of being able to eg work on the personal statement together, getting everything we need to do done at the weekends - basically I have more free time on weeknights as not ferrying him around but less time at weekends catching up. OTOH our food bills have plummeted and we only need to run the dishwasher every other day.

Volterra - I'm sorry about your health and work situation, I hope you get a diagnosis soon and medication that works for you.

@Shimy I meant to comment yesterday, sorry to hear about the way DS has been treated.

Good to hear of more offers! I hope dd gets her form off before Christmas. The open day was useful in that she’s definitely ruled out dual registration- she just wants to do mental health. I’m slightly confused as it said on a slide that you can do single registration at Leicester too, and dd really like the uni and city so wants to apply but it’s not on their website??

Oh it is on the website - I’ve now found it! Phew! Wouldn’t have wanted to waste 8 hours 😂

@crazycrofter glad the day was useful!

@AnneOfCleavage so sorry to hear this bestie got it from the teens in September said it was like flu (she was doubly vaccinated) went to bed for two days and then on sofa for 4 days but by day ten feeling a little tired but much much better - ( but please check O2 sats if any breathing issues) -

Thank you all for the sympathy. Piccolo how difficult for you, I’m so sorry. DS’s college is state so we pay for the accommodation part and they have 100% bursaries under a certain amount so a different situation and I’m so sorry but I don’t have any advice apart from goimg through the lists of small charities that sometimes have grants to help people in certain areas/professions.

Anne I hope you feel better very soon 💐

Thanks for new thread x

I need to comment just because the thread keeps going from my watched list. It's annoying me.

Sorry you’re struggling with covid @AnneOfCleavage. My dh had it quite badly and it took longer than the 10 days for him to recover

We have 10 lads here this eve as Ds turns 18 tomorrow, they've been to the football, had Chinese and fair bit of alcohol. Though I made sure there wasn't a huge amount as I don't want anyone getting ill. A couple of the lads I haven't seen since primary age. I wouldn't have recognised them. Ds is wearing a Spider-Man morph suit 🤣
I don't suppose I'll see much of him on his birthday as he will be tired.

@crazycrofter. Sorry your DH got covid so bad it is unusual but not impossible after the double vaccine. ( hence my comment Re checking O2 with Oximeter if breathing off). I really hope he avoid the long covid. DH got it bad before lockdown before vaccines in 2020 - still has long covid so does his sibling who works in a hospital and got it unvaccinated (December 2020) hence one of the reasons I’m a bit OTT on here about being vaccinated.