Corona Cohort: Statements Scripted, Grades Predicted

[Monkey2001]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

From OrangeCinnamonCocktail:

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/4339233-Thread-19-Corona-Cohort-Enrolling-on-Year-13-hopefully-NOT-unlucky-for-some?pg=1

@lljkk what options is he considering?

Thanks @Monkey2001
I agree a gap year could do him a lot of good. The trouble is he's adamant he wants to go to uni next year but that means a lot of work and he's not doing it. He has a big test today which will impact his predicted grade (currently a C but he needs a B so this is big opportunity). I don't think he's done any work. He asked for an LFT this morning, I think hoping for a positive result so he didn't have to go in and sit the test. 🤦‍♀️

We have had the same conversation about what's required this year several times, but I'm all out of ideas.

@singingstones it sounds like it might be best to step back a bit and let him learn by experience if he gets disappointing mock results. That might shock him into action for the real thing. It is so hard for our lot who have not done real exams, particularly if their school did not do lots of mocks pre-Covid. If you think a gap year would be good for him, it is always there as a safety net plan. But I agree with Piggy that when he sees offers coming through for some friends and others getting their applications in or deciding on gap years, you will be all ready with the knowledge!

I think I would say the same to @lljkk, at this stage it is not worth using up the limited tolerance most Y13s have for help/interference as they have until 26th Jan and a natural momentum will be building up in schools.

I think you're right @Monkey2001
I will disengage and hopefully he will work out what it is that he wants and will go for it.

singing, your DS and my DD seem to be one and the same at the moment
DD can’t seem to connect next year/the following year with what she’s doing at school right now.
She’s got a vague list of what I think are random universities, with a variety of courses but that’s as far as it goes.
From where we’re sat, school doesn’t seem to be encouraging anything more at this stage; she gave in her first draft PS before the summer holidays but has had no feedback at all, and only one subject has given predicted grades.

First open day is on Saturday, (I pushed for it and booked it) so I’m hoping that gives her a sense of reality about the whole situation.

A gap year would be useful to give her time to mature, but she herself has said she might never go back to education if she stops, and I can well believe that she may lose skills/ability/confidence if she does.

Aargh Also it's so frustrating isn't it. I think I'll have one more chat with DS at the weekend to make his options as I see them very clear - including not bothering and ending up at home next year, which means no allowance and expected to work and pay rent. Then it's up to him.

It's physics that he's struggling with and has done since the beginning of Y12, it's really sapping his confidence. He made some passing reference the other day to "when I used to be smart". So I do feel sorry for him and that I ought to do something. BUT he won't have a tutor, won't replace physics with another A level in school or privately, doesn't want to talk about it really. He could just give up physics as plenty of unis would accept 2 x A levels and Welsh Bacc in place of the third but he won't do that either I don't think. He just lets me talk to him, agrees with everything I say and then nothing changes. Grr.

@Heifer ds1 is at UEA. He has enjoyed it, but disappointing as hardly any hands on labs. Jan-March 2020 there were strikes, then covid. So he only went to the lab October, November and 2 weeks in December 2019. I think he had 2 lab sessions October last year. So far year 3 it is back to normal. I really hope it stays that way. It's not been much fun watching the lecturer doing the practicals online, then writing it up as if he's actually done it. But I know it's been the same for everyone. As he didn't originally want to go to university he hadn't thought of subjects. He only did one science a A level. So we needed a university that would accept just biology. He also wanted to be close to home (regrets staying so close now, nothing to do with uea just the fact he already knew Norwich) so UEA was ideal.

Ds2 decided to stay home again today. He is working though. I was due to have a flu vaccine today, I've never had one before. But a lady from boots phoned to cancel it. Thankfully I've not caught ds's cold. I thought I was coming down with it last night. But must've been just tired.

Oh, yes, the listening, nodding and making noises of agreement happens here too, singing…shortly before they (it happens with both DCs) go back to doing exactly what it was they were doing before I so rudely interrupted them (Snapchat/PS4).

It goes against every fibre of my being, but my current mantra has had to become “You can lead a horse to water…”

I sometimes think you should create a "memorandum of understanding" which you both sign so they acknowledge that you have offered help and they have declined it and can't blame you later:

***

I acknowledge that you want me to look at course details and go to open days.
You have offered to help.
I don't want help right now.
I think I am where I need to be to get where I want to go.
It is up to me to let you know when I want more help.
If I end up on the wrong course or with a gap year I didn't want, I promise not to hold you responsible.

@Monkey2001

I sometimes think you should create a "memorandum of understanding" which you both sign so they acknowledge that you have offered help and they have declined it and can't blame you later:

***

I acknowledge that you want me to look at course details and go to open days.
You have offered to help.
I don't want help right now.
I think I am where I need to be to get where I want to go.
It is up to me to let you know when I want more help.
If I end up on the wrong course or with a gap year I didn't want, I promise not to hold you responsible.

brilliant

Ooh rings so true Also. I usually worry that one day I will think, I just gave up on him when he really needed me. But I can't do anything to help. As you say, you can take a DC to water and all that. Or maybe, you can take a DC to the UCAS website, but you can't make them think. Or work. Or make a flipping decision.

Love @Monkey2001's idea

Hi all, may I join you? DS is in year 13.

@singingstones, sounds very familiar. We have no open days booked, and all the links I've sent for online interviews have been ignored. We go round in circles and he is SO bored of me nagging. As if I want to talk about it all the time any more than he does!

We're going up to Scotland at half term and I had imagined we'd pop into a uni town or two on our way up. I think he did too. But he won't tell me what his latest thinking on degree subject is, so how can we decide where to visit. It's exhausting.

@Monkey2001 Love your memorandum idea!

Does anyone know anything about the very flexible courses on offer at some unis? Liberal Arts and Sciences at Birmingham or Flexible Combined Honours at Exeter, for example, and what the Scottish unis offer? If you're basically an indecisive scientist who likes Biology and Chemistry and is interested in Politics, Economics, Sociology, etc., is this a good option? What would be the downsides? Would it rule out an eventual career in science if that became the chosen path? Would it be bad for social life at uni if you were flitting between departments? Would love to hear anyone's views and experiences.

Not that he's necessarily heading for the grades he'd need. How do you persuade DCs to say no to employers that keep pressurizing them to take on too many shifts? And to turn off the d* xbox occasionally? Sigh.

On the leading a horse to water theme older DS1’s tutor once said to me that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink without drowning it. At the time no matter what I did DS1 wasn’t going to put more into his studies. It was infuriating but sometimes there is just nothing you can do. His results reflected the work put in, ie not a lot. Once he finally found ‘his thing’ the following year he did brilliantly.

Thankfully DS2, the yr 13 one I write about on these threads, is more motivated. But if they are not in the zone there is only so much encouraging you can do without pushing them away. It’s a tough situation.

Hello @DoggerelBank I think the Scottish approach would suit your DS. I know most about St Andrews, and there in the first year you do three modules, one in the subject you applied to do, and then you can choose any 2 others, across all the faculties apart from medicine. So as long as you have any pre-requisites, you can do Biology, Chemistry and Economics, and it would be normal. You can start a degree in Biology and end up with a degree in Economics and IR. They can only do it because they offer a 4 year course and the first 2 years don't count towards the degree classification.

Just had a quick convo with DS - he said he didn't want to talk about it because it makes him feel worse but I persisted one last time! Just explained that I wasn't going to nag any more, I laid out what I think are his options, and he can decide then what's best. I do feel like a weight has lifted. We have a little trip planned to QMUL and Sussex at half term and I'm really looking forward to it now. I think he will end up giving up Physics and doing 2 A levels plus Welsh Bacc, which will get him into most if not all of the courses he is interested in. Someone needs to email the universities and check, but it ain't gonna be me

DS's UCAS form has gone off. He has had a UCAS track email . Shit's getting real!!

@Monkey2001 love your memorandum idea I have just copied it and thinking of sending it to DS1 😂

Oooh, exciting Piggy. A friend's DS plays the organ and is already sitting on his Oxford organ scholarship offer. He just needs better than the average mark in the assessment test for History.

Aurghghgh Piggy! Aurgh!

DS ready to go with his choices and PS but needs to sit his mocks week before half term so they are able to predict him something other than D’s following the debacle of his yr 12 exams…

Hi, I'm new here, currently on the thread for students who have just gone into third year at university (2019 starters). Starting all over again with next DC. Nowhere near starting personal statement, still deciding subject, missed open days due to self isolation etc etc etc!

Meant to add, I've decided to back off. I think I'm he needs a chance to think it out for himself, but my goodness its hard!

I am trying to imagine that noise delphi!

Currently shamelessly fangirling over a virtual lecture by David Olusoga.

Can't get DD to engage with virtual open days...it seems to irritate her!

Is anyone knowledgeable about extra time in exams? I’ve tried to read the document someone linked a while back but it’s so confusing!

Dd had a wobbly back in the summer during her history exam (cried, didn’t write much etc). She does suffer with anxiety so I asked the head of sixth form (at her request) about taking exams in a separate room. I may have mentioned extra time too (not necessarily due to anxiety, she’s just really slow). Dd got the impression when she went back in Sept that this wasn’t possible but she could have a separate room if she got a note from a health professional. She decided maybe she wouldn’t need it…,

In her first exam yesterday she couldn’t find her name in the exam hall and she was then told she was in a separate room - and had 25% extra time!

She had the same today. In both cases she said she really needed the extra time - but I’m concerned she won’t qualify for it in the real thing and she needs to get used to working quicker?

@Wheresthebeach dd hasn’t looked at a single virtual open day either. She seems to think they’re no use as what she really cares about is the vibe of the city and campus.