Confused over A level choices

[ihearttc]

DS1 has just finished Y11. He is a fairly bright boy and is predicted 6s, 7s and 8s for GCSE. He has picked his a level choices…PE, Geography and Biology. These are some of his best subjects and is predicted 8 in both PE/Biology and a 7 in Geography.

He had his induction day at 6th form this week and PE/Geography are ok, the Biology didn’t go well. He thinks the teacher is great (he taught him before) but the others in the class are just not on his wavelength. I’m aware that sounds really shallow and pathetic but 2 of the boys especially are very hard work and he said he was only in there for an hour and wanted to walk out. There are 10 of them and he said there is literally no one he could talk to. He is rather cool and sporty…they are the complete opposite so I can see why he found it tricky.

Anyway…my question is does he suck it up and just accept the fact that he is going to hate a lesson just to do the subject or walk away and chose something else. He wants to do something sport related…either sports science or become a Secondary PE teacher if that’s relevant.

The other option is his other choices are limited due to timetabling. It would have to either be the biology, Media Studies (which he did for GCSE), a BTEC medical science (which seems not at his academic level) or Maths. The obvious one is maths but he is freaking out over hard it will be and he doesn’t want to fail.

Any thoughts if that makes sense at all?

This is a great opportunity for your ds to learn to be more open minded, OP. Judging his classmates on the basis of what he has seen on the induction day is quite shallow tbh. Maybe the other kids are different from him in some ways, but that doesn't mean that they wouldn't get on if he gave them a chance.

If he is worried about them all being cleverer than him, again, he hasn't had enough time to judge that. Maybe his confidence needs some work so that he is not so insecure?

Popular kids will be in the lessons. Maybe you are getting popular mixed up with disruptive?

PEOPLE

The OP has clarified, the divide is more similar to Braniacs v Troy in high school musical. The DS feels he won't fit in with the tight group of highly academic kids.

Not getting mixed up no. Many of the 'popular' aspiring millionaire footballer types are disruptive, yes. Many popular able children are not disruptive. They can, however, not really understand how difficult it is for the less popular kids in class. Some of them do, some of them don't.

The point I am making is that A Level lessons can be the first time that the Sheldon 'types' get their opportunity to feel comfortable in class.

I seem to have upset you - my apologies if you have a very able, popular, hard working child who is well aware of others who find lessons more of a struggle because they are not 'popular'. My comments were really just trying to focus attention on how beneficial A Level lessons are to the more socially awkward students.

@TeenMinusTests

PEOPLE

The OP has clarified, the divide is more similar to Braniacs v Troy in high school musical. The DS feels he won't fit in with the tight group of highly academic kids.

Yes, and I'm suggesting that he should try being a bit more open minded.

No matter what I say, nobody seems to be getting it. It’s not about whether my DS is cool (he really isn’t, was just trying to explain the divide) and the others are uncool (because they are not). It is simply about trying to fit into a social circle which is very very different to his. I’m a TA (although in KS1) and there are social circles there so I’m struggling to understand how people can’t grasp by the time kids get to 16 they might find it difficult socially and academically to be in a class made up of people who are very different to them.
DS is kind, intelligent and understanding, that doesn’t at the moment change people’s perception of him because the other 9 kids in the class seem (to him) to think he shouldn’t be there.

He wants to do Biology, is academically able to do biology just thinks 2 years with people who don’t seem to be able to accept him being there is going to be easy. In 6 months everything may be fine but I’m not sure it’s worth trying in case in 6 months he still feels the same and has messed up Y12.

Also please remember these kids have missed a huge amount of school and he is doubting his ability in everything apart from PE.

A huge thank you to everyone who understood my point.

@AlexaShutUp

It’s not on the basis of induction day…he has been in school with them for the last 11 years mostly as they nearly all went to Primary School with them.

Talk to the teacher

We are getting it. We are just saying that some of our kids have experienced this for up to 8 years and have to suck it up in order to get any education at all so it's difficult to feel much sympathy.

I'm not sure why anyone's making this about their kids having a shit time at school. The Ops kid didn't make your kids feel bad.

He can socialise with the kids that are doing the other two subjects. My son does Biology, it’s very intense, not much chance for chat in lessons anyway. My sons tutor chooses who they partner with for certain work/practicals and changes them regularly. It’ll be fine.

@Shadedog

I have no idea why but your post out of everyone has really upset me. DS is about as far removed from a millionaire football player as you can get…apart from actually playing football. It was exaggerated comparison to make the point.

Yes he would have been the one to go and talk to the odd one out in PE. He has only been “cool” since puberty and spent all of primary school snd up to Y9 being bullied/teased about his weight. His love of sport and his connection to the PE teacher saved him. Maybe why this is bothering him so much, it’s throwing up all sorts of old feelings. Whilst it’s clearly not the same children and it’s a completely different situation it’s making him feel absolutely shit.

He is a good, kind boy as are they but that doesn’t mean they all have to get on.

I have no idea why you are singling me out for special upsetting credit either. You described your child as “cool” and the others as “the exact opposite” of cool, not me. You likened your child to a popular and good looking millionaire footballer type, not me. You said that these kids haven’t actually said or done anything to your ds but still seemed to expect them to go above and beyond, as if it’s their responsibility, to make ds more comfortable in a school situation he’s been in for 11 years, as if he was a new boy. I’m just pointing out that the opposite of cool kids have their own lives and own friendships and given that they didn’t actually do or say anything then they were probably just doing the induction, same as your child was. You’ve repeatedly said most of these boys have known each other for 11 years and he doesn’t like a couple of them so excuse me for not believing that he would have spent his PE induction trying to over-include a quiet kid in a lesson in a school they have attended for 5 years. Other people have different friendship groups. This is ok.

@Bryonyshcmyony

I'm not sure why anyone's making this about their kids having a shit time at school. The Ops kid didn't make your kids feel bad.

Because her question literally was at one point would you tell your kid to just suck it up and our answer was yes, they have had no choice, it's really common.

BTEC has levels from entry to uni level so check you are looking at the Level 3 course. You also need to know the exact units they are teaching.

I used to teach BTEC Health and Social Care, most of the students went into nursing or other health related fields.

If a student had not taken the anatomy and physiology unit then universities were asking for B grade biology at A Level.

Having a quick look at the spec the A and P unit looks identical.

So IMHO the BTEC complements his other A Levels but I think you need an honest look at the VI form.

Some VI forms allow anyone to progress who has been in the school, others are ore selective so you need to get out your crystal ball and assess what is likely to happen in 2-3 months, will the others calm down? Will the subject be stimulating enough to put up with not being liked in the class?

The BTEC he is looking at looks like the one I did (followed by HNC) to be a clinical physiologist, I worked for the NHS and mostly in cardiology but there are opportunities in sports science.

I have no idea why everyone is jumping on what type of kid your DS is when the real question is should he suck it up and cope with an awkward class for two years.

There are a few things I would think suggest - these kids may not get the grades to continue - there group might be split and this could change the dynamic. There may be other kids who get the grades and decide to join. Nothing is set in stone until after results day.

The other thing is don't discount the BTEC. There's a fair amount of snobbery on Mumsnet about them and the perception is that they're a lesser being. They are not. They require a consistent level of hard work over the whole two years. They are not an easy option. From my son's experience they were the best choice he could have made. He went from 4s and 5s at GCSE to getting a double distinction(*) in Engineering, he also took an additional A level alongside it and has just finished his first year as an apprentice - a job he got out of 7800 applicants. The practical knowledge that his BTEC gave him made the difference in his final interview. Find the BTEC spec from the Pearson website, go through the modules that your school offers and weigh it up. As long as the BTEC covers the subject your DS wants to study at Uni they are usually of equal value as A levels.

Right now may be the right time to investigate the course he might like to study at Uni and work backwards. Investigate the course requirements and find out what they really need. Decisions can be made this way too.

I wish him well - it's difficult to make the right choices but lots of kids move courses when they start in sixth form if they find the fit is not quite right so if chooses Biology and he can't 'suck it up' he may still be able to swap in the first few weeks.

@Shadedog

Like I said…I have no idea why your post out of all the others upset me but it did. It felt like a personal attack on him when he hasn’t done anything wrong. He isn’t the one making others feel uncomfortable. You seem to be implying that if the shoe was on the other foot he’d be nasty and mean to the others and that simply isn’t the case.

I’ve already said countless times the likening to a footballer was an exaggeration, you know like people say they have a million things to do when they don’t really. I’ve been on Mumsnet for years and usually find support and also offer support. I find the tone of your post very aggressive. I was simply trying to work out what’s the best thing to do for him.

He needs your reassurance and maturity OP. Which I hope you can give him - maybe ask the teacher to have a word and bolster up his confidence a bit as well.

@titchy

Thank you. He’s emailed the teacher today to see what he says.

You seem to be implying that if the shoe was on the other foot he’d be nasty and mean to the others and that simply isn’t the case

I’m not implying anything of the sort and fuck knows why you are suggesting I am. You said they weren’t nasty and mean so why would I? I didn’t say they were nasty and mean. I specifically and explicitly said that they had their own friendship circle and were getting on with their own lives at their own 6th form induction. If you think that’s nasty and mean then really that isn’t my fault. Most kids after either 11 or 5 years in school together simply don’t think that not specifically making sure the rest of the class is comfortable is “nasty and mean”. Lord knows why you think it is. I haven’t personally attacked your ds. I haven’t said anything about him that you haven’t said. You seem determined for both you and him to be victims in a situation in which, according to your own narrative, nothing actually happened but your ds found it tricky because he is “rather cool”.

would he have acted like 99% of 16 yo boys in a class where they are supposed to be focussing on their own futures, and got on with the lesson and talked to their actual friends during downtime and discussions?

This is what I actually said which you are claiming is a personal attack and painting your ds as “nasty and mean”. Mate, he sounds like a regular kid with who struggles a bit with confidence and is good at science. He will grow in maturity and confidence enormously between now and Christmas. Perhaps you could join him. He will likely have a wobble around early October. He will be fine. Make a dumb choice based on friendships and he will regret it. Mine went to a 1500 form entry 6th form where he didn’t know a soul. Online learning, bubbles, seating plans, no extra curricular at all, odd subject combo has made things difficult. He went on a residential field trip and shared a room with 7 boys whose names he didn’t know. He was fine. He didn’t love it but he was fine. I’m fucking off now because you’re “woe is me” act is not something I can be arsed with. I don’t care about the “they didn’t do anything but he was uncomfortable” non issue enough to tolerate you singling me out as a cause of your alleged upset.

You implied that he would be the one to ignore them…which is what upset me. It’s not just you but your post felt the most aggressive. I apologise for singling you out. I was on my lunch break after dealing with 30 6 year olds all morning. It felt like you were making him out to be something he isn’t.

In your first post you say he is doubting himself in everything apart from PE, it wouldn't surprise me at all if he is projecting this on to the other kids in biology who he sees as much cleverer than him and so has decided he couldn't possibly fit in or manage in there. I would tell him that if he wants to do biology he should do it, he doesn't have to spend any time being best buddies with these kids - but if he makes the effort he might be surprised, and learn a thing or two - he can just keep his head down and concentrate on his work ( which really is no bad thing).

I read the beginning of the thread and started thinking, sounds like your son needs a confidence boost to convince him he does belong in the biology class every bit as much as the others do. I've just skimmed the rest of your posts rather than everyone elses and see that confidence has been discussed :)

I really hope that he gets a response from the teacher that reassures him he's doing the right thing, as it sounds like it is the best academic choice and that he should be up for it. I'm also going to cross my fingers that at some point something comes up regarding anatomy or physiology stuff that he's already covered in PE and can briefly know more about than the others in his class.

Hopefully, as you seem to suspect, more of the kids in the class are academically intimidating but not out to rub other's noses in it, rather than the couple you know to have a history of being a bit exclusionary. I have a son the same age who falls into that category and I like to think he's supportive of those around him who don't instantly understand things as easily as he does. (mind you he's joyfully giving up biology and sticking with maths /physics /music).

I think you are really over thinking this and there might not be as many options as you think.

Your child has been to an intro Day, the teacher he disliked may not even be his teacher next year, the other kids might be his best friends next year. And don’t you even think that science kids spent the time studying, mine is a party animal very invested in eSports yet with a true passion for… physics.

Whatever choices they make in sixth form will determine what they study, where and therefore a big chunk of their adult life will depend on those choices, don’t let him screw himself up by supporting him on a move that may compromise his options over perceived stuff that might not even materialise.

Besides… the chances of the school being able to help him move to other subject group might be very slim so it might be a good idea to manage your child expectations as it might not be possible to change subjects.