Year 12 (4): The one where they're pondering what to do next

[Numbersaremything]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3491933-year-12-3-open-days-and-predicted-grades-beckon

Let's try this

sandwiches77
My suggestion would be to focus on the self-care first. She should aim to get up, shower and get dressed every day. She needs to eat regular meals and establish a healthy sleep routine. Ideally, it would be good if she can get out of the house at least once each day. Once her self-care is in place, hopefully she will be in a better place to start studying.

This approach worked for DS1 when he was unwell, and helped him to get through his GCSE and A-level years. He didn't achieve the grades he would have been capable of if he had been feeling 100%, but he did achieve enough to get into a good university, and he now finds university life easier to manage than school.

The other thing we did insist upon was him attending all GP and CAMHS appointments and making an effort to engage with the support offered, although this might not be possible or feasible for your DD.

TheFirstOHN she has just finished 6 sessions with CAMHS and self referred to College conselllor.

Got to go, back later x

TheFirstOHN trying to encourage self care and a regular sleeping and eating routine. Two steps forward, one back...

My biggest concern is if DD has to retake her first year of A levels it will knock her already fragile self esteem

But even if she does have to take 3 years, she hasn't failed, simply tried a method in her first year that didn't work for her. I think you would be surprised how many people do take the scenic route. You sound so concerned about her that I'm sure you will find the right things to say to support her.

Interesting email from Durham giving advice on PS -all seems to match school's suggestions, thank heavens.

Eng Lit types - help needed! DS is fretting about his English Pre U - they have to do a 'Personal Investigation' extended essay. He wants to write about failed/flawed paternal relationships (DH is looking slightly perturbed...) He has chosen King Lear and Sylvia Plath for main texts and was going to have The Tempest and Seamus Heaney for secondary texts but is now worried that there isn't enough on that topic in the Heaney poetry. I have suggested Tender is the Night or Mayor of Casterbridge as a 4th, but neither seems to inspire him - anyone got any suggestions?

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe . Kingscote.

Examines both the protagonist's relationship with his father, and also his relationships with his actual son and 'adopted' son so 3 for the price of 1.

It was DS's gcse novel and will be a quick and easy read for an A level student.

Another good one is Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

He’s ordered both from Amazon and is currently sitting in a deck chair listening to the Achebe one on Audible! Thanks, online chums!

You're welcome.

Happy reading!

Still another 12 months before preparations for Uni begin (living away from home) but I was feeling quite emotional yesterday when thinking of the prospect of DD being away. I split with DD's dad when she was 3 and she's an only child and my life has very much revolved around DD especially in recent times where she spends 80% Plus of her time with me. I am sure the next 12 months will roll along far too quickly! .

oneteen I can understand that. I don't like to think about DS not living at home anymore - I really enjoy our chats and he's good company. I know it will seem very odd if and when he leaves home.
(That's not to say he can't be infuriating!)

DS was away at Latitude Thurs- Mondat and the house was very quiet. I said to DH this is what it will be like when DS (youngest of 3) goes to uni! So we went to the cinema in the afternoon!!!

DD is away this week, so we have gone away too. Currently enjoying cold drinks in a pub in the middle of the afternoon, safe in the knowledge that DD is working a lot harder than we are.

Both of mine are going to Spain at the end of August on a music trip so I'll have a bit of practice at managing without them! Suspect the house will be tidier and there'll be fewer food shopping trips...

@OKBobble snap , ds also at Latitude and youngest of three ! Our middle one is likely to live at home for a while though and this weekend ds1 also came home , was very odd though

Does anyone else have the feeling that their DC really ought to be doing something over the summer, but you can't quite pin down what it is? I'm sure there should be some EPQ activity or something similar, but I don't want to nag or show too much interest.

I think there's a massive contrast between the DC who have coursework to do, essays to write for competitions and Personal Statements to give in on the first day back (my DS - currently in filthy temper...) and those who got fab marks in their summer exams which bode well for their predictions and who are just enjoying a bit of R and R and recharging the batteries (my god daughter - in joyously sunny mood when I met her for lunch today!).

DD has more exams when she goes back so she's got some studying to do ...she also has her personal statement to write up too. She's back into procrastinating at the moment (today she and some friends are messing with a new tent they have brought for Reading).

I'm having to nag a little bit (which I don't like doing and thought we had got through this stage). The lady she babysits for is a scientist and kindly offered DD some work experience but DD has done nothing about it (tell a lie she drafted a text but didn't send it)... She did go and work a few nights at the local fish and chip shop though!

I'd like to encourage DS to work on some domestic / life skills this summer, but he is showing very little enthusiasm.

I bought DS1 a Nosh cookbook after GCSEs last year, thinking he might as well start learning to cook for himself. Book has been sitting in his bedroom, unopened for a year. I think he intends to survive on chips throughout uni.

Last year after GCSEs I set ds some domestic tasks each week including doing a food shop, planning a couple if meals, tidying up, doing some laundry, running errands. I think working on life skills is an excellent idea!

Kingscote - that workload sounds like my DS's, history and geography coursework to do and PS, has finished essay for competitions, away in Europe with friends this week and work experience next week with Reading Festival thrown in for good measure (just been to Latitude too!!!)

I keep asking if he is on top of it all and he says he is! Oh and driving lessons to add in as well as lifeguard shifts!

Happy to take the Nosh cook book off his hands! DD is coaching for 3 weeks, so she is shattered when she gets in. It doesn't help that she is arranging matches in the evening as well. I think she has the bulk of her EPQ, history course work & her PS to do.