Year 12 #3: Open Days and Predicted Grades beckon

[whistl]

Yikes! The title has just hit me! It's too soon! I'm not ready!!

Thread number 2 link: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/3443840-Year-12-2-Carols-commutes-a-few-stocking-fillers

Busy half term for dgd. Teachers said relax then all teachers spring major assessment tests the week they go back! She spent yesterday on a course learning how to be a trustee on a board and managed a long journey on her own by train where she got picked up and took to venue and viseversa back. She wasn't phased at all whilst we had hearts in mouth! But we have to say she was safeguarded extremely well by organisation who phoned to say they were at station, car registration, description of lady who was meeting her etc. She enjoyed it very much. We forget she's 17! Today full on revision as was weekend and tomorrow off out with dd for shopping then meeting friends and sleepover and full on revision weekend. She has found a few masters courses that interest her and now list is complete. Cambridge, Nottingham, Manchester, bristol, Leicester. Masters class at Cambridge in april booked then open days to book in march and phase one done.

@Stickerrocks I loved your description of the Cambridge masterclass day!

What else did you learn?

DS was supposed to go to an open day for a couple of the colleges on Monday. Only one parent is permitted to go, so DH was due to take him (DH cancelled it due to work). It is better if DH takes him:-

1. I'd be likely to start tearing up mostly with pride that DS is even a contender but also and with sadness that DS's childhood is over and this is the beginning of the preparation for him leaving home. It would be infinitely better that I don't cry but I can't guarantee that I won't, so DH is doing the university trips until I get a grip!

1. I've done 99% so far with regard to DS's education, so it's DH's turn anyway, and he's just as interested.

I'd love to see Cambridge though. I've never been there.

We started to consider Oxford and Cambridge when DS started to get some 100%s in school exams. He's really started to work at a much higher level now than last year. We know Oxbridge places are a lottery though.
Also looking at LSE, Imperial, Warwick and Bath plus a couple of others. I wanted to put Edinburgh and St Andrews on the list (4 year honours courses can be reduced to 3), but they are so far away. Durham is a hike too.
Unlike Cambridge, I've been to St Andrews 100s of times and it's a lovely location. I lived in Edinburgh throughout my 20s and it's a great city too, or at least it was pre-devolution!

Maybe we can all compare and contrast experiences and what the universities say?

Maybe a bit out of place to post this, but...
My neighbour has died. (Cancer). She was the same age-group as me and leaves 2 sons and a DH. Her boys are the same school years as my two.
I really feel for them. They will never see their mother again.

It does get you, doesn't it, when your own age group are affected. You look at your own family and "what ifs" start to surface.

I'm further south than you. DD has Edinburgh, Durham, Lancaster & St Andrews on her prospectus list. Exeter, Bristol, Southampton etc are met with a firm harrumph.

Everything ticking boxes on the Cambridge admissions list is super curricular rather than extra curricular. I've mentioned the DC teaching themself Latin this year in a bid to take Classics. Another was fiercely passionate (apparently) about African river beds. Make sure your DCs have a good piece of work available to submit if requested. This should be coursework or an essay for A levels at school, rather than a flight of fancy on African river beds. They also stressed no white lies on applications.

I feel for the neighbours sons because I've been in their places. I was a little older, but my brother was exactly the age of the older boy.
There's nothing anyone can do to help, I know that too. Once the doctors had failed and you've lost your parent, then no amount of kind words or sympathetic looks can make things better.

I feel for the mother too. Leaving your children when they still need you must have been agony in itself.

DS is sort of leaving everything to DH and me regarding his university choice. He should be driving it, but he's letting DH decide and he's going along happily with that. He wants it but prefers to be guided.
This worries me. Why is he so passive? What happens when a malign influence tries to guide him??

@whistl - those poor boys.

DD's BF's Mum has breast cancer (2nd time) and it's crap. It's not until now that I have teenagers that I've come to realise how particularly vulnerable DC are in these early teenage years. I see my teens on the emotional roller coaster and worry terribly for a 14 and 16 year old who could be without their Mum. Praying that it doesn't come to that.

Whistl it is really shocking - I'm so sorry and agree with Sandy about how vulnerable young teens are.
I think most dcs are still pretty vague about uni choices at this stage and a lot are guided by parents and teachers. DS still seems to think he's got ages but I have warned him that open days will be upon us quicker than he imagines! Sostenueto your dgd is amazingly organised and determined - she will go far!

How sad. Two dc in DS year have lost parents which makes you think. I know outside support can’t compensate but good support from school, friends, relatives must help a bit - or at least think what it would be like without that as well.

It also occurred to me recently that, amongst the feelings of sadness and missing dc etc as they move away and become more independent (oldest now 20 and 21), there was a sense of relief, some of the worry of responsibility lifting. I will always worry about them and they will always shout for help and advice but the responsibility and decision making is firmly in their hands now. And our not being here would have less if an impact on their lives. That feeling may be heightened by the fact that MH issues in one seem to be being managed (for now at least) and not currently needing constant oversight by me.

Whistl So so sad for your neighbours. Losing a parent, especially a mum, as a teenager must be absolute hell - a compass gone. Most mothers spend so much time shaping their children and supporting their efforts and aspirations - what must it be like to have all that disappear? Poor boys.

Separate topic : DS1 also does not seem bothered about which university he goes to and has left it up to me (DH not as invested as I am). As long as it's not too far away was the only caveat DS1 has set! Much will depend on his BMAT and UCAT results (he will sit them in August/September); BMAT unis on the shortlist are Cambridge, Imperial, Leeds and UCL; UCAT unis are Barts, Leicester, Norwich and St George's. Final UCAS list will probably be a mix of these! I've just given him a spreadsheet of interview shortlist criteria so he knows what he needs to be aiming for He's useless! Much of half term has been spent on esport - he's got a national team and they've won some kind of international tournament and is trying to get sponsorship. To be fair, there's been a good bit of music practice and quite a lot done on his MOOC.

Sost I'm putting my professional hat on now. Although you can legally become a director of a charity at age 16, you cannot become a trustee until you are 18. I would also want to know exactly why they wish to place such a responsibility on someone so young and (with all due respect) inexperienced and why others are not stepping into the role. Your DGD's age would not mitigate any decisions taken, as she would be jointly responsible with all other trustees if anything went wrong. I would proceed with caution.

Dad's op went well and he is back in ICU but has been sat in a chair for a lottle while today.

I tried/am still trying to shape DS's uni choices. Seen Durham (he hated it). Seen Warwick (ok woth it but didn't fancy the travelling yr2/3). Likes the idea of Bristol so will see that in Summer. Have persuaded him to see Exeter too.

Will try for Oxford lottery but suspect my party boy will put Bristol as insurance! He is quite philosophical that basically even with all A*s, supercurricular and all hoops jumped through it is still pretty much a 10 to 1 shot!

I have to accept its his other uni choices are his choice and let's face it it is not as if any are terrible!

Or obviously Bristol as first choice if no elusive Oxbridge offer! Was getting ahead of myself there

Something all sounds positive so far with your DF. Prepare for a roller coaster, but you can do it.

What does DS want to take again? I'm lost in a blur of maths & music.

History

Will try for Oxford lottery... He is quite philosophical that basically even with all As, supercurricular and all hoops jumped through it is still pretty much a 10 to 1 shot!*

I think that's a sensible view to have. Your DS sounds like a very strong applicant, but very strong applicants still outnumber available places.

If DS2 decides to apply, I'll be encouraging him to give it his best while at the same time not setting his heart on it.

Fortunately there are already two redbrick universities he really likes after visiting last year, and there are more to look round this summer.

I’m glad things seem to be progressing well, something.

DS3 should really look at Bristol as I think he’d get a contextual offer from them due to his school being on their list (for some reason that I don’t understand.) But he’s not a party animal and I think he’d be happier at a campus university rather than a city one. Bristol definitely has a party reputation.

He’s getting a taste of uni life tonight as we’ve been visiting DS1 in Warwick, and I’ve left him there overnight. DS1 is under strict instructions not to lead him astray and to get him on the coach home tomorrow.

We’re going to wait for AS level mock results before deciding on our summer open day schedule. I think DS3 will do well enough in maths/FM, just not so sure about his third subject, whether that’s chemistry or computing.

If DS2 does decide to apply to Oxford, his GCSE results are fine (mostly 9s, the rest 8s) and his commitment to super-curricular activities is strong (very strong if he does well in the Senior Physics Challenge) but it would be the PAT that sorts the applicants.

DS2 would prefer either a campus university or a university in a small city where lectures and labs are within a mile or two of where he will be living.

He would like to join a couple of societies at university (especially an orchestra and a D&D club) and I can see him taking part in a pub quiz or a games night, but he doesn't do unstructured socialising.

There’s lots of room to meet like minds at societies, First. I’m sure he’ll do very well.

V sensible oxbridge attitudes here. Been reading some of the other threads with distraught dc and parents - it’s a shame they clearly weren’t prepared for the fact that strong applicants outnumber places. Doesn’t mean for a minute dc shouldn’t give it try but do it in the knowledge even done if the best candidates don’t get offers andvtgats nobreflection on them.

‘Some of the best candidates don’t get offers and that’s no reflection on them’

I was talking to a colleague about this. Her DD leapt through every hoop & received an Oxbridge offer. On the morning of her results she checked the UCAS website and let out a wail. It had never occurred to her that she wouldn't get the grades.

The odds are against DD as she not only got a grade 6 for herr MFL, but a D for further maths. Neither of these are of the slightest relevance to her chosen degree course, but they drop her down the pecking order. Her opportunity will come if she makes it to interview. She can but try & then have 4 realistic options in there as well.

I think they score on their best 8 and then score against what the average for their school is.

DS scores highly for top 8 but as it is a superselective its average for rhe school!!

Stickerrocks - did she get her insurance? If DS was to get an Oxford offer it is likely to be rhe same as Bristol or lower than Exeter! However if he missed grades Bristol may still accept whereas Oxford wouldn't.