Y13 Summer term: Finishing Lessons, Starting Exams and leaving Sixth Form

[catslife]

So our dcs are now on the last term of sixth form, finishing off lessons and starting their exams.
How did that happen - doesn't seem that long ago since they started Y12.
This is the thread where we support each other as our dcs revise and start their exams, finish off coursework, leave sixth form and make plans for what to do with the rest of their lives. This may involve going to uni or other alternatives.
Every Y13 parent is welcome to join in whether new to these threads or if you have been with us for a while - the more the merrier.

Ds2 and I have just finished tidying his study and "preparing" his work piles to the sound track of Edith Piaf

Ds1 on the other hand seems to be on cloud 9, in an excellent mood, not really that worried about work [help] and has been reading short stories on some unrelated subject to A levels which he has been animatedlly trying to discuss with me...

Proper love of literature there, much more important in the end than stupid exam results Nettle!

If DS1 gets his place then he can take photographs and cycle (his great love) every minute of the day I just hope he gets in, now he's had his eyes opened to the big world and it's possibilities his second choice in our local college is just not going to be the same. Anyway he has just driven himself off to a cycling event held on open roads and I was lost between careful driving warnings and mind the idiot drivers worry when he's cycling . DS3 knows that the tests don't matter but I don't think anyone told his teacher and the stress gets passed on to the class!

Anyway, sunny day, going to be a day of many sports, I must make myself useful instead of sipping coffee in bed. It's just so nice sipping coffee in bed...

I lost you all again, glad to have found you.

Drummer the kitchen fire sounds really scary, thank goodness for the dog! I hope the insurance comes through relatively smoothly and it doesn't take too long to get everything back to normal.

Everyone talking about coursework, it sounds awful! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with coursework, either with dd as she's all science, or with work as I teach maths and we haven't had coursework for many years now.

Dd seems to be getting on with revision quite happily, every time I look into her bedroom (taking care to avoid looking at anything other than dd so I don't launch into a rant about health hazards and tidying) she seems to be doing a part paper. I'm supremely busy at work with exam classes and reports, I seem to be clocking up 80 hour weeks recently, which seems ridiculous but I don't think any of it is able to be dropped.

LDG - oh my, that sounds so scary! Thank goodness no one was hurt.

MsAD welcome back. I'm afraid you were marked absent in the register.

drummer thank goodness noone was hurt but I hope the consequent disruption doesn't last too long.
fantasy I hope dd gets swift treatment for her eye. If I remember rightly it was quite a faff last time.
mrslant your ds sounds so like mine. Brilliant at computer science but don't ask him to do anything fluffy around it. It was the human computer interaction module which was the final straw for him and led to him suspending his studies. It is possible that that module won't be compulsory next year so fingers crossed.
Echo the relief about lack of coursework. I don't think I could cope let alone dd.

Oh my goodness Drummer! That sounds terrifying. Thank goodness nobody was hurt! And Thank goodness for your dog, what wonderful animals they are.
I hope the repairs go smoothly and cause as little disruption as possible.
On the plus side - choosing a new kitchen is very exciting! It's one of my favourite hobbies - only hypothetically though!

Fantasy your poor DD. I hope they can get her sorted quickly this time, she's been through so much bad luck with her health, I hope it isn't getting her down too much.(I'm with her on the rhubarb gin - delicious!)

DD was "out out" for a friend's birthday in the big city last night, borrowed ID, premier inn - the lot!
Apparently they left the club at 4:30am, carried on partying in one of their hotel rooms til at least 6am (sorry other residents of hotel!) and then she had to be on the train at 9:30am to get back in time for her shift at work!
I'll be surprised if she lasts the day, never mind doing the revision she has planned for this evening!
I pretend to moan but actually I'm delighted to see her having some fun with friends after years of being less than sociable.
That's the last big blow out now though until exams are over.

Drummer Glad you all got out safely and the damage is manageable at least. We had smoke coming out from between the hob and the oven a few weeks ago, and I must admit it put the frighteners on me a bit. Not sure our dog would be quite as useful as yours in the same situation, he is mostly oblivious to what goes on around him!

Fantasy Hope DD gets the treatment she needs, very worrying and not at all what she needs right now.

We have just put DS's accommodation application in...needed to put six choices, but at least four are more than we wan to pay, and the final two choices are for a meal plan which he doesn't want The only other options would have been for ensuite which was even more expensive, or partner accommodation off campus, which we definitely don't want as the whole point with his ASD is that he's on campus. Fingers crossed for the first two choices.

doistay ds wants ensuite but we are trying to persuade him that he doesn't need it. I think that off campus can be a retreat, usually the other people in the accommodation make a little community which has its advantages. What I've been noticing from talking to people on open days is that mixed blocks with postgraduate accommodation and lots of international students on one year exchanges ON campus is often less sociable/bonding than a similar block with just first years in a less convenient location. I think ds falls into both categories he wants a retreat, he wants convenience but I don't think he would last long in a very sociable flat with parties all the time; he can hardly cope with family mealtimes as it is!!!

in fact like porridge in Goldilocks his flat has to be Just Right, and I suspect on campus in grotty accommodation may be the answer to getting the right mix of people. If not, there is always the chance you put yourself on the waiting list for a different flat once you find you hate your existing...presumably the accommodation office has to sort these things out all the time.

dd doesn't get to choose accomodation if she gets into her first choice. She can put in a bit of basic info about the sort of room she would like if possible then will get put into a ballot after the results.

DD has pressed the button!

DD has heard nothing back from her History (unsurprisingly), but the English teacher has said all work handed in has been on target grade or better. And feedback was within the new rules apparently.

The other drama this afternoon has been rescuing a broken down friend nearby.

Drummer, helps keep everything in perspective, glad you are ok.

fantasy, hope your poor DD is better soon.

Ursula you have my hearfelt sympathy over the ongoing coursework. Hopefully it will be handed in soon.

DD has heard nothing back from her History (unsurprsingly), but the English teacher has said all work handed in has been on target grade or better

Have spent a mind boggling evening helping DD with her French.
It's her speaking exam this week.
We've been discussing the intricacies of the French Revolution, in French (I knew nothing about the French Revolution, and I don't speak French! ) not sure how helpful I was!

Well done on the button pushing Raspberry's DD! Where did she decide on?

Bonne chance to your DD Lobster
DD has more chemistry mocks this week and next

Nettles I know what you mean about needing it to be "just right" The accommodation is apparently allocated completely randomly, but there were additional questions about whether you wanted single sex or a quiet flat, so we put yes for the quiet flat. I know there are no guarantees, but hopefully it will mean no major party animals! Went for mixed sex, as I think all boys could get a bit daft, but a mix will hopefully be a bit more sensible. The off-site partner accommodation seemed a bit isolated, and none of the students we spoke to on the accommodation open day had chosen it, and seemed just be making the most of a bad job.

I want him to try to mix a bit, so don't really want him to be miles from anything, but also want to know he's near enough to campus to access support services if necessary.

Dds eye is getting worse but she’s a trooper! At the hospital tomorrow

She’s still mulling over accommodation but has had nothing from goldsmiths do say thank for making us your firm or anything
hes
She loves rhubarb gin

Fantasy I think it takes seven days to get a meaningful response if not more..good luck with hospital

dd who is always tired she says atm, is getting her blood test results tomorrow from gp. If she is low in anything I am testing ds1 again, still have the form at the ready..he seems chipper though

Oh no Fantasy I hope you can get it sorted. DD once had herpes in one of her eyes. It is such a frighteneing thing to happen.

I hope your DD is OK Nettles. DD is shattered all the time and has a GP appointment on Thursday.

I hope the hospital appointment goes well Fantasy.

I was wondering whether anyone elise suffers from anxiety at all and how they are managing it with looming exams? Clearly it's not something that I want dd to pick up on, but it's rearing it's ugly head at present.

Kitten I manage it by a) mainlining vitamin D as per doctor's orders (2000iu a day) b) talking to lots of people about their children's plans and experiences over the last few years, so my perspective of the whole process widens. For me anxiety can be boiled down to, what if? if I don't do that then this might happen and how will I stop it or prevent it????Help help help...

Instead of reacting in this way and thinking how can I stop bad things happening, cortisol adrenaline you name it (can't remember all the chemical reactions that fuel anxiety)...

I try to examine things in a different light so they do not become such "bad things". It is very hard when the difference between great happiness and perceived failure/unhappiness is a set of exams but the truth is, all our lives there are going to be similar hurdles, similar turning points, we cannot predict what will happen, exams are not really the worst thing (that doesn't really make me feel that much better tbh) but life is tremendously unfair but also brings enormous blessings in so many ways, when you least expect them. (think lovely dog walk, or smiling teenager at the breakfast table)

I want the absolute best for ds; I've let go of a lot of dreams for him in the meantime and come to terms with his life as it is and as it unfolds, there are some things I can do to change outcomes but not everything is in my power. How could it be?

Thanks Nettle.

Ds2 (ASD) has an Annual Review at school this morning. Not feeling very clear what I'm going to say. He's doing well (with support) but if he does too well they'll take the funding away!!!

Hospital has rang the surgeon that did it wants to see her Thursday, so no hospital appointment today and it means she’ll have to come home Wednesday not what she needs really with alevels

I had been getting really optimistic that DD's mental health was improving. However, talk of a sunny holiday at Christmas seems to have thrown her, and the heavy black cloud above her head has resurfaced.

OYBBK, I am finding myself in the same situation. I'm more terrified of making her feel worse than anything. I think that being aware, and taking time to breathe, and consider what I say (I tend to assume when I am anxious that everyone else has caught up with my thinking) will help. I am also going to walk the poor ancient dog in to the ground, despite his hatred of the rain.

On a brighter note, she has short listed her halls. They will be allocated randomly from a selection of 5. One of her choices is an external provider, but right next door to the uni owned ones, and looks like it has the best facilities. I think she'll be fine in any of them, though I'm concerned that the external ones might have had less of a first year community feel because there will be a mix of ages I suspect, the communal facilities all look super, so that might balance out. She was basing her choices in part on the main halls providing bed linen, which she doesn't want. She really, really wants her own quilt covers

OYBBK I have suffered really badly with anxiety all my adult life nearly, it ebbs and flows depending. After a rotten 5 years and with the exams looming I went to the GP last month - something I normally avoid like the plague - and threw myself on their mercy, a fantastic GP prescribed me a betablocker to take every evening which is when the physical symptoms normally are worst and it's been a complete life changer. I don't seem to get any side effects but I am just chilled and in charge (well for me!). I feel like going back in time and demanding them 18 years ago. Probably an extreme way of helping anxiety for some but it's the best thing I've ever done (and trust me I've tried everything else to get over the cortisol over dose, diet and exercise and headscape and counselling and gin...) Having an incredibly anxious DS3 (affects his day to day life) I'm contemplating getting some for him when he's older just so he doesn't have to feel like I did. It's strange seeing him be so like me as a child all the same neuroses but good as well because it means I understand him and know there's no point telling him to 'pull himself together' because he can't.

Biology practical tomorrow, nervous for DS1 because a good one could pull him up to a B. He's very chilled about it, lucky thing!

Nettle I know that feeling, everyone is surprised that DS1 has a diagnosis but then without it he wouldn't be where he was today!

OYBBK

I suffer with anxiety. I am on ADs and have been on them on and off for many years. Another thing that has helped me recently is remembering a line from the film Bridge of Spies. The Tom Hanks character keeps asking another main character "Aren't you worried?" and the reply is "Would it help?" It might sound a bit mad, but I have often found that repeating that in my head reduces my stress levels.

I also like the Dalai Lama quote: “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”