Y13 Summer term: Finishing Lessons, Starting Exams and leaving Sixth Form

[catslife]

So our dcs are now on the last term of sixth form, finishing off lessons and starting their exams.
How did that happen - doesn't seem that long ago since they started Y12.
This is the thread where we support each other as our dcs revise and start their exams, finish off coursework, leave sixth form and make plans for what to do with the rest of their lives. This may involve going to uni or other alternatives.
Every Y13 parent is welcome to join in whether new to these threads or if you have been with us for a while - the more the merrier.

Thank you :) It's good to hear how others cope and that I'm not along.

If I could pin down what my worries actually are, then it would be easier to dismiss them. It's a general sense of gnawing anxiety, not just about this, but about lots of things. Many many worries all cascading into one massive knot in my stomach.

I absolutely don't want to add to dds worries.

dd's levels have come back ferritin 26 (bottom of range is 11 top of range is 300ish) so normal but lowish and Vitamin D 58 (again sufficient but not optimum which would be 100ish) off to Mr Google now to find out what 26 ferritin actually means even if dr considers it normal...I've been topping up dd with vitamins/sunshine and iron just was not sure how much to offer(sunshine is free), and she has backache a lot.

ds's annual review has gone very well, and they seem to want him in the Sixth Form whatever he gets...within reason. His Annual Review now has additional notes: independent living goal: to manage his own laundry! and text friends to meetup! [sorry this is all GSCEstage stuff but it would have been nice if ds1 could do all this two years later]

Ds2's Annual Review not Ds1

Kitten gnawing anxiety is really dreadful, I think unless people have experienced it (I've only had it like that twice in my life, and sporadically when I travel or give parties ) they cannot understand how it affects you physically

Your body is processing chemicals which are designed to keep you safe in the event of an "emergency", an emergency that does not in fact happen or is yet to happen, high levels of cortisol and adrenaline affect your gut. Unless you can disentangle in your mind each worry or downgrade them to minor irritations which you just about tolerate, they will continue to be incredibly toxic because your brain perceives a threat and floods your system with these chemicals to "protect or prepare" you.

Is it any help to know this? Well if you can start looking at the threats differently, which takes a lot of patience because your brain is wired in a certain pattern, [like when our children are little we get frightened with they run off in the park, but now we are used (and our brains are rewired) to the idea that 18 year olds can wander off and come to no harm when let out of our sight] - those chemicals released by the brain to mistakenly protect or prepare you will decrease - they are not needed, cos there IS no perceived threat. And if you can give your brain the chance to release endorphins, or oxytocin or serotonin (cannot quite remember how that process works) it will balance things out a bit, and the physical discomfort might lessen.

Sorry to hear about everyone's anxiety problems. How do parents of larger families cope?

I couldn't go through this multiple times.

DD's geography teacher spent the entire lesson today shouting and ranting at the class. No-one did well in the last mock - one B, and the rest Ds, Es and Us. I think he was cross because if the whole class has done badly it reflects on the teaching rather than the students. (DD got an A at AS and an A in the December mocks, then a D in the April mock).
Unfortunately the geography department have nothing on the school's VLE - no practice questions, no past papers (impossible as it is a new syllabus)

I bumped into the chair of governors in the supermarket and complained and asked him to feed the lack of online geography resources back to the school.

The good news is, that because DD is under the CFS/ME team, who have written to school to ask for extended time in exams, they have emailed me this afternoon with a revised timetable, with extra time on it for each exam.

She has chemistry mocks tomorrow and Wednesday, and will then prioritise trying to get some geography practice questions from her geography teachers.

The first exam is in 5 weeks, then 3 weeks later it will all be over - and breathe.

Accommodation offer now receieved. Will have to say yes to everything until results day. If DD smashes her A levels (looking unlikely just now) she will defer a year and try for medical school again.

Sorry to hear about your dc teresa it’s tough to be having issues with mental or physical health at this crucial stage

Dd is en route back to school, she’s tired and exhausted her eye is sore, it’s effecting her mental health because she’s so worried about how she looks and she can’t avoid it as it’s on her eye

Good luck loni it’s Worrying when they have health issues and exams best Of luck to your dd

mrslant that's interesting about the evenings, I know people who say they wake up feeling frightful/panic/very low and then feel almost normal as the day progresses. I am NOT a morning person it has to be said. However I don't think I'm an evening person either My nadir is the point at which supper needs to be cooked and family assembled, I start to feel terribly tense. I find myself walking off the tension a lot, on last minute errands. The irony is, if I do cook supper in the morning and leave it ready, I still get anxious around supper time almost as if I'm expecting something to go wrong children spitting food out perhaps mrslant your posts are always very funny and cheery and zestful btw

Lonicera

There is a sample exam paper and mark scheme on the AQA website for geography here www.aqa.org.uk/subjects/geography/as-and-a-level/geography-7037/assessment-resources.

I have another one if you want to DM me.

DD has just has a meltdown and said she doesn't know what she wants to do at university any more. She has reluctantly pushed the button to accept the accommodation offer, but isn't even sure that she wants to do that course. I have advised her to get A levels out of the way and forget about university for now, and we will do more uni open days in the summer.

Teresa I find that if people talk about some fun event (particularily holidays outings and festivals) which I associate with a stressful journey or preparation I can start to panic and feel sick, and it is in direct proportion to the fun/treat it is meant to be, I also feel ashamed at feeling that way. The idea of another change when one has just gone to uni is perhaps what is putting her off, change is a very stressful thing in itself for some of us, even fun change.

lonicera I think all these meltdowns are to be expected. I think they just have to let off as much steam as they want to, and we don't necessarily have to take it as the final word in the matter. Those were wise words that you gave to her. I've had ds1 refusing to even visit the uni he firmed- "you just want me to go there and I'm not going there" turning into a month later..."you just want me to go there (the other uni) and I want to go to x" (the one he firmed)

Ds's teachers are shouting a bit too. I'm not surprised really, I found myself shouting at ds2 today when I tried to explain something to him about Jamaica Inn specimen English Language paper.. So much is riding on them and they feel so responsible.

That's really interesting Nettle. I'm a wake up and panic in the night person.

Lonicera your poor dd. That's the right way round to do it. Your dd can still change her mind in the summer, or after her results. There's plenty of time to do that still.
Pressing the button is a such a big step, I think it can make them feel cornered.

Thank you for the support. She is still smarting from the geography lesson today, plus stressing about tomorrow's chemistry mock.

I have reassured her by saying that we will start looking at what is in clearing in July, well before the results come out.

I’m livid! Very angry
Dd has rang in tears, and I mean sobbing (could also be a period looming) but head of sixth form has had a go at her nearly shouting about missing school and his grades are a priority not missing school and to make appointments in her own time, which is hard given she’s in boarding school and last time the school did treat a health issue with the local hospital they didn’t have a clue what was wrong with her so her eye got worse
Dd has said she feels like she has no support yet the teacher gives more support to those with mental health issues which I’m of course delighted he does support mental health issues as they can easily be fobbed off by many so it’s a rare to see someone who understands MH. But, dd could do with some TLC and support and he doesn’t seem to care

Oh no Fantasy. Does he not realise that something like this is an emergency? You must feel so helpless. Is the school far from you?

It seems like some teachers are feeling the stress as much as our DC

loni
He doesn’t seem to quite understand the seriousness of it especially her periods he just doesn’t get it, some of the staff do but dd is currently feeling like she’s just a number and not a student
45 minute drive but dd gets a train which is 1hr30 and she has to switch, the annoying thing is she has delayed appointments already for the school which means her health issues have worsened
Last time she had an abscess on her eye and it was closed up he told he she was still expected to do pe!
It baffles me

Lonicera I think right now is just a very confusing time for them. There is the pull of uni but actually they are still small children in part of their minds and the thought of the big wide world can be overwhelming. DS was almost cheerful at the idea of doing badly at Photography and not having to leave home for a weird bit. It is a massive thing that they are planning on doing and some bastard has made them sit the most important exams of their life as a condition of it happening. Must be tempting to just go and read a book under the duvet and ignore everything

Fantasy that teacher sounds appalling!

mr
He is an emotional teacher so if he’s having a bad time at home, or another child has misbehaved he takes it out on everyone else, dd said it can be very emotionally draining
He’s just not always 100% professional and I get kids can be annoying little buggers at times I’ve worked in many schools but you have to keep your calm and approach every situation with a fresh start which this teacher doesn’t do and did a HOS it’s appalling, dds friends have said he’s being in a foul mood all day which explains his temper with dd

I guess teachers are feeling the strain too but that's no excuse for that teacher's dreadful behaviour.
I hope your DD is ok Fantasy, the last thing she needs right now is more stress.
Hopefully other staff members will be more understanding.

Mr Slant can I ask how your DS has found IT at A level ? My DD2 is taking computer science for GCSE next year. She likes it but finds the coding very difficult , especially as she has had three different teachers in the last year! She wants to do something with IT/computer Science for A level and I am wondering if it gets more enjoyable?

Well that's not very professional is it Fantasy!

marmite I'm not sure I can advise as we are in Wales so curriculum is different plus there is a big shift in the A levels at the moment to promote more coding etc. I think (here at least) there are two types of computing based A levels one to the coding side of things and what DS is doing with databases/Excel/website building and he's loved it, not felt like school to him! he's done Information and Communication Technology.

Fantasy How awful for your DD, that's really unprofessional and I'm afraid I would be phoning or emailing the school to complain tear a strip off him But I am "that" mother! Ever since reception year when I allowed a completely inexperienced teacher to convince me she was right, against all my better instincts, and almost destroyed my relationship with DS1, I have complained ever step of the way (if necessary). I still haven't forgiven myself for what happened during that year, and have spent the whole time since making up for it.