Hi angel,
I started my fostering career when my dds were 3and a half and 18months. we had various age children but the ones that did work best were the babies who were younger than them.
When they were 12 and 14 I had another child a ds who is now 7, we have always fostered for every minute since his birth.
we carefully match placements to ensure we meet everybodies needs, sometimes placemants have been older, sometimes younger.
I agree if you are starting out then younger is the way to go, prefrably a tiny baby to get your dd used to sharing.
My grown up girls both say how much fostering has enriched their lives.
Yes they have had to share, but that in it's self is not a bad thing, it's one of the reasons lots of couples go on to have a second child.
it makes them more generous and giving as adults.
Birth children can undoubtedly be damaged by fostering, if they get attached to a child who moves on it can hurt, so good preparatory work with them and time out just for them helps.
No one with children would foster if they thought it would damage thier own kids.
Do you work? some people are of the opinion that working mums harm their children, so at the end of the day your xh just has an opinion.
kids in the care system are just kids at the end of the day, not monsters who are out to damage your child.
I think your xh is very VERY misinformed.